To Catch a Rat..

~ the britchy one

I had a problem with money disappearing out of my purse a couple of years ago. Ten bucks here, Twenty there, it was very annoying. Apart from the obvious ‘someone was stealing’ part, I’d go to look for cash and there wouldn’t be any. If anyone had asked for the money I’d have given it to them so this was really pissing me off because there was just no need for it.

I was guessing it was one or the other of the kids even though they vehemently denied it so I decided I’d find out by setting a trap. Literally.

I’d met a friend for lunch one Saturday and when I went to leave a tip I had no notes. I prefer to tip in cash so that was just the final straw. When I got home I set a mousetrap – those bloody things are HARD to mess with! – and put it in my handbag. I left my bag in the kitchen to make it nice and easy for the thief and promptly forgot about it.

A couple of hours later I was sitting watching telly when I heard an almighty roar from the kitchen and someone falling over. The cats all went flying so I rushed out to see what the heck was going on.

‘im indoors was just getting up from the floor, he’d obviously fallen over and he had a mousetrap on his fingers.

Imagine a big man, two hands on the floor to balance as he hoists himself up – and a mousetrap stuck to his fingers!

Well I started to laugh. I laughed so hard I think it was almost running down my leg! This infuriated him even more so he starts shouting “What kind of effin’ idiot puts a mousetrap in their bag? You could have broke somebodies fingers! Jesus H Christ are you an effin idiot?” And so on. Im literally helpless with laughter and the more I laughed the angrier he got. He put his “injured” hand under his other armpit for effect and I almost slid over laughing – the mousetrap was still attached to his hand!

Eventually I stopped bellowing and snorting long enough to point out if he hadn’t been STEALING because he was too lazy to go to an ATM then it wouldn’t have happened. Naturally it was all my fault regardless! I wish I had a picture of his face when I added “Oh by the way, you might want to take that mousetrap off your hand”!!

Needless to say, lessons WERE learned. He doesn’t even get my car keys out of my bag if he’s going to do something on my car without asking now though!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

63 thoughts on “To Catch a Rat..”

      1. Sounds like a man who likes roller coaster rides and black-diamond ski runs!

        I do wish we could edit comments we’ve posted. More than once I’ve re-read something I wrote and gone “ack! what a biff!” I looked at my comment above and, thank goodness, you knew what I was saying lol.

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  7. OH MY GOSH !! Lmao!!
    I’m sitting here at my desk, at work and I busted out laughing at your blog post hahahaha!! Sounds me to like you taught him a lesson he will NEVER forget lmao !!!!!!
    Good post!! Well worth the laughs lol kind of wish I could have been a fly on the wall to actually see it though! lol

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      1. Oh no, there’s skill…some people can’t get it out of their mouths…much less express thoughts on paper that evoke emotions from the reader!!! You got skills!

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  27. Lovely dear that put me in stiches 😂. I did that as a teen in my sock drawer when money started disapering I never got the culprit but my socks stopped getting gone throw. Boobytraps are a great teaching tool !!! ❤️✌️

    BY FOR NOW

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