The Wegmans Complaint..

~ the britchy one

wegmans

A couple of months ago I bought some samosa’s in Wegmans that were beyond awful. I posted a huge diatribe on facebook about it and was encouraged to write in and complain. So I did and here is the letter I sent and the reply…

Please bear in mind I have a mouth with a death wish.

Dear Danny Wegman,

I’m writing to inform you of a huge disappointment recently passed. Still passing in fact because frankly, I’m not sure I’ll ever get off this toilet again.

I have a question for you.

Do any of your food testers actually LIKE food – or are they all skinny bitches who count the calories it takes to pucker their lips in disgust? If I did that I’d have just burnt up 11 million calories but to be honest, pursing ANYTHING isn’t something I’m capable of at the moment.

I visited your XXX store yesterday. It has a better selection of British goods than the XXX branch and I like to ogle the mushy peas and run my hands lovingly over the Birds custard powder but I digress. Whilst I was wandering around I found my way into the frozen food section. Usually there isn’t much there to get excited over to be honest, there’s only so much sweet peas and chicken nuggets a girl can take but yesterday – well, yesterday was a bit of a knee trembler. Boxes of Sukhis Samosas caught my eye.

Well, not literally which is a good thing. Everyone says I have my grandma’s eyes but she left them to me in her will so they’re mine now.

The samosas. Being a Brit by birth it is in my DNA to be absolutely addicted to Indian food. Upstate NY is somewhat of a cultural desert when it comes to Indian food. Aloo NO Gobi even. My excitement knew no bounds! Samosas! In a box! Mine!

I dashed to the cashier heedless of all other customers and staff in my way. You’ll be pleased to know I didn’t actually INJURE anyone so no claims on the old workers comp!

I got home and dropped all the bags of other lesser shopping on the floor, unconcerned with anything but getting my precious cargo in the oven and thence in my tummy. I had bought two boxes, one potato and pea and one chicken tikka.

Oh my giddy aunt they were DISGUSTING. Worse than disgusting  – but without resorting to Swahili or profanity I can not describe just how bad they were. I tried a potato one first which is a good job – I wouldn’t have dared if I tried the chicken first. I wasn’t expecting miracles, this isn’t an Indian foodcentric country so I was expecting them to be tame… The casing was very strange. Dry and friable. The potatoes and peas were mashed so it was like potato which an occasional green stripe. Kind of like baby poop. It was tasteless, gluey and unpleasant.

Onwards to the chicken offering.

It’s rare I spit food out. Even when I’m on my own, I’ll try to swallow it if I’ve bitten into something. My Mummy didn’t raise a quitter but quit I did. If spitting was an Olympic event I’d be leading the US team. Imagine if you will, rancid mushy fish paste with a bit of curry powder. It didn’t taste meaty at all. It was pasty and distinctly fishy. It even smelled fishy. Without doubt one of the worst things I’ve EVER eaten.

Do you have any contracts with the Military? These would make excellent weapons of mass (ass?) destruction.

The FBI could use just the threat of them to procure confessions.

I threw some out onto the neighbours garden and not even the local vermin will eat them. I don’t think grass is going to grow where they landed again either.

I don’t want my money back. I suggest you spend it advertising for new food tasters. God knows you need them.

On a plus note – because I don’t like to be wholly negative, your own brand toilet paper is excellent. Even after three rolls in two hours.

Yours sincerely

xxxxx

——————————————

Well I got a reply from Wegmans… no effort at all – lazy bastards!!

Dear xxxxx:

Thank you for your email concerning Sukhi’s Samosas and we are sincerely sorry to learn that you were dissatisfied with the product.

I want to assure you that Wegmans will look into your concerns. We have a great deal of faith in the products that we sell and appreciate being given the chance to take corrective action whenever possible.

We hope this incident will not diminish your confidence in our products. With that thought in mind, we are sending you a letter in the mail with a $10.00 in coupons for a future purchase at Wegmans.

Once again, thank you for sharing your feedback. We value you as a customer and look forward to serving you again soon.

Sincerely,

Dxxxx Cxxxx

Consumer Services Specialist

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

38 thoughts on “The Wegmans Complaint..”

  5. Do they even read any letters ? I think all they do is just copy paste their answers. Such a waste of time.However, your letter was a delight . I am amused why they didn’t write something original. I know I would have 😀

    Liked by 2 people

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  7. After that totally bananas letter, I would have hired you to be the letter responder for the company! DANG GURL! That was the most amazing letter ever.

    Liked by 3 people

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  10. You are incredible! I love your zest and spice. I need to borrow your services for salesmen and joeys! You are a remarkable person, and seriously not to be messed with. Love reading you posts, they always leave me delightfully smiling! Fantastic reading!

    Liked by 1 person

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      3. Have travelled to America several times and the food standards are just not the same. What happened to fresh orange juice! It tasted like chemicals. Couldn’t get on with anything unless it was ‘organic’. It is a shame you cannot enjoy the same European standards there.

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  11. I bet they didn’t read your letter, when you said you had written to them, I couldn’t wait to read it and what a brilliant letter, they don’t know what has hit them LOL, I could send you some real samosas that my friend next door makes they are brilliant. I find some of these ready made foods are not unto scratch against the real thing, but they could of sent you more for your trouble, because when there is something wrong lots more people get to know about it than when something is good so they will need to watch out the britchy one is coming to town

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  12. I absolutely hate it when I have to call somewhere to complain. I don’t do it often, but when I do do it, I expect a HUMAN response. Instead, I get “I apologize for the inconvenience, I will pass it along. I can offer you a *enter a ridiculous offering*” They lack human touch. I need them to UNDERSTAND why and how inconvenienced I was.

    But then again, I realize that the people who answer those calls (or your email) are people so withdrawn from the process, people who get a million of such complaints a day that they don’t care.

    They all have to follow a script, too, because studies show that people expect to hear x,y,z. I have no idea who they conduct those studies on, because 99% of the time I have a diametrically different approach.

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    1. I know!! I used to work for the PR dept of a large London store, every letter we got had a personal reply. One lady wrote into us in rhyme. We were all really impressed so I took it on myself and sweated blood to reply with a poem too! I honestly expected some reaction from them. Soulless grocery whores 😂

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  15. Ya’ got your spring cleanse!

    And when you say “update” NY that covers a lot of territory. Basically anything and everything north of Westchester County. But it has to be someplace with a Wegmans, too, so that will eliminate a few places!

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  17. I absolutely LOVED your letter!! I am in envy and awe of your writing style.
    But the corporate manager in me has to respond!!
    The team who handles corporate correspondence was probably peeing their pants on their office floor rolling around with laughter and now there are puddles of pee stains on their carpet that they will never get out!!! Your letter is very likely pinned up in a “pride of place” location in their office where they amass all their wonderful and treasured collectibles…Copies of your letter have likely been handed around in the lunch room to staff from other departments and it will be talked about for some time….Heck..It is probably going to come out again at their Christmas party..BUT unfortunately for the person responding to your letter their hands have been tied behind their back with some thick strong rope dressed as corporate policy.!!
    There are some organizations/companies in this modern world who have very forwarding thinking managers handling corporate correspondence who understand with social media that opportunities like this are an amazing and incredible chance to get a whole freaking bunch of FREE advertising and they respond to these types of letters in an equally humorous manner creating the opportunity for a viral response….But sadly MOST companies do not have such forward thinking people making decisions on acceptable corporate responses and letters are chosen from standard formatted paragraphs that the associate can choose from and they have no access to a paragraph that says….”Oh dear, we are immediately sending a truck with 24 rolls…no 48 rolls of our finest toilet paper to ensure you recover from this situation most expediently”‘ etc etc etc…blah blah blah!!!
    So what you got was a form response!! Disappointing I know but I have great faith in our world and know that as the generations move forward more people will step out of the constraints of the corporate grey suit and put more color in this world!!
    On a completely separate subject how far are you from Canada? As a British Australian living in America for 13 years the thing that I missed the most was certain foods, Indian was one of them…I found that Canada has a LOT more choices of British foods and some awesome Indian!!!

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