Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!

~ the britchy one

Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?”

Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide!

You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!)

Entry #1. Burning my forehead on the hot shelf in the oven when I was bending to take a cake out of the oven (I now have a double wall oven. This does not guarantee there won’t be a repeat performance!) Walking around for a week with two scarlet, blistering parallel lines of shame is not my finest moment!

#2. Falling off a cliff in Cornwall.. It bloody hurt too! Enough so that after three more days limping around and 250 mile journey home.. I finally went to the Emergency Department ten days later to find out I’d fractured my hip! I drove home from there too (but lied and said my ex was picking me up!)

#3. Breaking my arm with a loaf of bread – and it wasn’t even my ex mother in laws cooking! She was a dreadful cook. My ex used to joke that she cooked by ear, when the smoke alarm went off, dinner was ready! But back to the bread, it was actually a nice crusty loaf from Sainsbury’s. I had it swinging on my wrist in a carrier bag and raised my arm to put the key in the front door. The bag bounced down my arm and just landed awkwardly fracturing my arm. A ‘lucky break’ they called it at A&E. Lucky for the doctor I guess – I expect that paid for a new car!!

#4. Slicing carrots for the ponies at my parents. I was being lazy and using a knife that was far too big because I couldn’t be arsed to walk to the kitchen to get a smaller one. I sliced half the tip of my finger off and said “mum, I’ve cut myself” She nearly passed out at the sight of blood and shrieked “don’t get blood on the carrots, I don’t have any more for the ponies”

We have our priorities right in our family! This reminds me neatly of

#5. After the big hurricane of 1987 I’d gone down to our house in Sussex with my mum. It was a horrific mess, all the skates were off the roof and there was glass and slate and nails everywhere. I’d run Mum into Tunbridge Wells and gone back to feed the ponies (no bloody carrots this time!) I’d parked at the end of the drive so as not to flash my tyres and walked up. So far do good. I went on to feed the ponies and ooooheeee!! I slipped and skidded and as I righted myself I managed to get a 6” roofing nail right through my shoe into my foot and out through the top. There I was. Impaled. On my own in the middle of nowhere, no cell phones, not even a landline as the storm had taken everything out. I had no choice but to get in the car and drive back into Tunbridge Wells to meet mum and then go to the A&E. Oh and just for fun and games – as is the norm in England, my car was a stick shift. That was a mess!

#6 was falling off the doorstep and breaking my arm and leg which I blogged about here

#7 well as you can probably guess – there’s a lot more than seven!! I’ll stop here though with this last one because I’m starting to think I’m cursed! 7 would be when I broke two twos and three other bones in my foot tripping over a flower stand at the local petrol station. I drove 150 miles to go camping near Tatton Park on that occasion too. Luckily one of my friends drove us back because you can’t drive in a cast!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

52 thoughts on “Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!”

  5. Goodness, Keep safe 😉

    I have had a few silly self imposed injuries. I wrote about one on the blokes post where I went to pick up a friends dad from hospital and tripped over my own feet and skidded along the pavement ending up hobbling into the hospital with a bleeding knee.

    I also once opened a truck door and hit my forehead with it causing a small cut that bled quite a lot and a mild concussion.

    I also once accidentally scraped a fingernail across my face when in the shower again causing a lot of blood and a small scar scarily close to my right eye.

    I think my subconscious is out to kill me….:-)

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  7. It has to be the loaf of bread! It is too funny to be true! Who knew an innocent wheaty parcel could be so dangerous. Health and safety alert!

    Do you suffer loaphobia now?

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  8. Good Lord, woman! Ummm….so many terrible things have happened to you; I say your worst has to be the nail all the way through your foot.
    Ps great title today 😂💙

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  9. The bread arm fracture has to be the most ridiculous of them all. All others I see happening to other people. This, I do not.

    (Side note for those who do not speak Brit: A&E stands for accident and emergency, kind of like our ER/ ED)

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  13. OMG, i’m afraid I can’t choose they are all absolutely very weird ways of inuring yourself!!!!!, I thought I was accident prone but you take the biscuit with all of these hahaha. I am surprise you are still in one piece. Don’t go buying any donuts, you ‘donut’ what might happen next(LOL)

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      3. I’m sorry for you but glad it s not only me 😉how is your relationship with escalator because mine is still of terror after I fall at the end of one in a crowded shopping center😱

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