The Worst Of The Worst Of The Worst… SIR!!

~ the britchy one

I was watching MIB – mostly because it was in and I couldn’t be stars to channel surf and it got to that line about ‘The best of the best of the best SIR!’

I have to admit, I had a little smirk because I do actually know an anal retentive hun just like that character! It made me think though about the opposite so here you are! My worst of the worst of the worst… SIR!!

Worst Food – Cottage cheese without any doubt. The sight of that gloopy looking sour milk makes me heave. It reminds me of that film where aliens got drunk on sour milk. That made me literally throw up.

Worst Fashion – Big old lapels on jackets and flared trousers from the seventies. That shit was FUUUUGLY!! 70’s platforms were dire too. Apart from tv shows and music, I think the 70’s were pretty much a lost cause! I am too young thankfully to remember most of it, but old enough to know better than to resurrect it.

Worst Pet – I’m going with snakes or spiders. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m phobic about either but I’m extremely uncomfortable seeing snakes behind glass and I will cry if anyone tries to bring one near me. Spiders are equally as horrible and scary and I have slept on the sofa in the past when there has been a daddy long legs in the bedroom. I know it’s irrational. I also know I’m allowed to feel any way I want about them!

Worst Drink – Campari. It’s such a pretty color and it actually smells really nice too but it tastes like someone turned your mouth inside out and squirted deodorant on your tongue.

Worst Candy – Candy corn or peeps. Candy corn has no taste. You might as well pull a lump of sugar out of a bag and chomp on that. It’s a horrible disappointment. As for peeps – YUK! I love marshmallows so I thought I was on a winner with these but they have that weird coating that makes your mouth feel horrible. I actually thought they must be out of date they tasted so plasticky. Sadly no – they really do taste that bad. Eat the wrapper and chuck the candy!

Worst Chocolate -Hershey’s!! No doubt about it! It’s brown lard. Apparently it’s made with sour cream as opposed to full cream milk like ‘proper’ chocolate. It doesn’t snap when you break off a chunk either. It tears. Very inferior chocolate says I!!

Worst Film – oh just butter my butt and call me a biscuit.. how do I CHOOSE?! I would pick ‘anything with Kevin Costner’ because I’ve never managed to stay awake through any of his films – but that kind of makes him useful if I ever have insomnia. I think I’m going with Benjamin Button because I think Brad Pitt is over rated and this film was boring. It didn’t help that I watched it in a theatre that was colder than a morgue sitting next to a rotund flatulent gentleman who had evidently paid for half my seat as well as his. He stank. Not just his eggy farts but my friend, my daughter and her friend could all smell his royal rancidness too. Add in his snuffling breathing, talking to himself and spraying popcorn – it was not an edifying experience!

Worst Book – I definitely blogged about The Magic Lamp already.

Worst Subject at School – Hmm.. a toss up between Maths and Physics. Both were taught by the same evil arsed nun, Sister Mary Menopause. She was a ghastly old hag and HATED girls. I’ve often wondered why people seclude themselves in religious orders away from the world and then expect to be able to teach others how to survive in it. Ego mania, megalomania or just plain meanymania. Trust me folks. People who separate themselves from normal life are not the people who should be educating your kids.

Worst song – Oh this has to be Procul Harum – A Whiter Shade Of Pale. I can’t tell you how I hate this, I start to get the shudders even typing it. Every band I’ve ever heard in a pub plays this and a) they all destroy it and b) it’s a flipping DIRGE. Worst mood killer of all time. It might be ‘iconic’ but so is the Magna Carta and I don’t want that ruining my good mood in a pub either!

I can’t think of any other worsts but if you want to suggest categories I’ll be happy to add them to a future post!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

71 thoughts on “The Worst Of The Worst Of The Worst… SIR!!”

  1. Candy corn is something I cannot wrap my head around. How could anyone like it? How is this even a thing?
    As for the peeps, yes, they are weird, but once every decade I have a half.
    While Hershey is not the best chocolate I’ve ever had, it certainly isn’t the worst.

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      6. Anyone ever told you you’re weird? Isn’t chocolate all about melting on your tongue? And it can’t do that if it’s frozen. Unless you’re not human… and your body temperature is higher than ours.

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  3. Fun list to read – can’t imagine watching Benjamin Button under those circumstances – doomed from the start! (But I have never seen it anyway – really don’t want to now!)

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  6. Oh no! Procol Harum’s “White Shade of Pale” was number 1 when I was born so has a bit of a special place in my heart. But I am so with you on the cottage cheese – surely the work of the devil.

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  8. Fantastic.

    I agree about having Snakes and Spiders as pets and wide lapels. What about Kipper Ties? They were bad too.

    I actually like flares. I have a pair of bootcut jeans which are a bit flairy and I love them. I was too young to remember the 70’s though.

    For worst film I would say about 90% of all of the ones made in the 21st century.

    I rather like Procol Harum but maybe that’s because I’m not exposed to it much. I agree it is quite morbid sounding, a bit like “Everybody Hurts” by REM. Not what you should be listening too if you need a bit of an uplift.

    🙂

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  10. I am one of those strange people who actually like cottage cheese! Lol I think it’s so yummy!

    Worst song: our house…in the middle of the street… frick frack now it’s in my head!! Nnnnooooo

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  12. I am with you about campari. I was shocked when I first tried it as I didn’t really expect that flavour…

    Other possible worsts for you:
    – Worst Holiday destination?
    – Worst sound (there are so many!!)?
    – Worst job?
    – Worst sausage (so, worst wurst heh! …sorry)

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  13. I love cottage cheese with fresh pineapple. I always loved candy corns too, as a child – tastes like buttery, sugary wax. What could be better? No other arguments from me though. What about worst women’s make-up fad? Love the plaid stallions site, by the way. What a find!

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  14. Sorry, but I think cottage cheese is quite yummy. Procol Haram is bad, but no song, I mean EVER, is as bad as “Come on, Eileen.” The sin of this horrible tune was compounded when one of my co-workers whispered in my ear, “What’s worse than sweat on Olivia Newton-John?…”

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  17. Can’t go past Whittaker’s chocolate. I have hit on their rum and raisin; by the fire at night with a smooth red wine….
    We are spoiled in NZ for great local products though.
    What about worst fast food? (I imagine lots to choose from in the US).
    I was stunned in the UK when my kids insisted on some KFC, to see they offered baked beans as a side! What is that about? 15p a tin in Tesco so NOT a treat food. I was looking for the coleslaw and mashed potato with gravy.

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    1. I like kfc gravy and fries in England and I’ll eat (English style) baked beans anytime! I love them!
      I’m not keen on the kfc gravy here in the US, it’s not as good and the mashed taters are yukky.
      Worst fast food? I’ve never eaten it but I’m thinking Arby’s. The smell alone put me off. It’s that nasty sliced beef slimy stuff in sandwiches. I don’t know so much that it’s beef as beef… by product!! 💩

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  19. I like cottage cheese mixed into a backed potatoe other than that I don’t care for it, Hershey’s are fixol some times you get some that is good other times you get someones soul of their shoe, ya clothing from the 70’s dreadfull, candy corns and those other things dreadfull a candle would taste better, worst drink it was called Zip or Zap or something like that it was beer with 5lb of sugar in every bottle talk about dreadfull. ❤️✌️

    BY FOR NOW

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  22. Awesomely brilliant – l didn’t recognise the song, and had to Google it, and yes l have to concede it’s the kind of song you just wouldn’t even want playing at your funeral :0

    Oh the memories of the 70’s – nope, not again, once was enough 🙂

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  25. Loved the post but I have to admit we probably could not eat together. For the most part I love the foods you hate on here. Love to eat cottage cheese with fruit. And I love candy corn and peeps. Hersheys I don’t hate – but I’ve definitely had much better chocolate before. I’ve also had much worse.

    I am 100% with you though on the 70s!!

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  26. I’m with you on most of your worst of the worst pics. The big lapels picture reminds me of hubby on our wedding day! But cottage cheese??? Come on! I love cottage cheese with apple butter. With you on the peeps and candy corn, though.

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