Malodorous Mishaps!

~ the britchy one

Two years ago I was going to visit my son in North Carolina and he asked me to get him a jar of pickled sausages.

Yes you read that right – PICKLED SAUSAGES.

Have you ever heard anything so disgusting? Apart from my nemesis, Cottage Cheese of course!!

So I went along to Byrne Dairy which is a local chain and the makers of these delights.

Honestly. They remind me of brains and other body parts in jars in the laboratory of some crackpot scientist and yes, by ‘other body parts’ I do mean dilly danglers!

These aren’t small jars either. They big ass gallon jars. Those things are hard to hold when you don’t have big hands. I have malabsorption issues and tend to be deficient in potassium and calcium regularly which can cause nasty hand cramps. This means holding things like jars can be a problem.

So there I was, waiting in line with this big ass glass jar of pickled sausages and I dropped it. Glass and vinegar splattered everywhere. Slimy sausages slithered down my shins and oh the STENCH! Pickled pork is pretty rank in my opinion!

I was mortified. It’s bad enough breaking something but when it stinks and then you’re covered in the nasty smell too it’s just awful. I ended up getting another jar but I never got the smell out of those sandals and I loved them too. What’s the nastiest smelling thing you’ve ever come across?

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

67 thoughts on “Malodorous Mishaps!”

  1. Well that made me gag 😂 and feel bad for you all in one second! That had to be as horrible as it looks in the photo! 🤢 My sister had eaten several Fiber One brand brownie bites. Thought they were wonderful and had several more. Well that night she had to sleep in another room! We threw the rest of the box away! Fiber is the key word here 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ have a great Wednesday!

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    1. My ex had a passion for licorice allsorts but he turned into a mustard gas cloud after about 12 hours! He was sheer sewer stench! His father could be a horrible man and they worked together so whenever the father was nasty to me, I’d buy the ex licorice allsorts the day before they were going to be making a long car journey..
      Sitting him next to that fart factory for 4-5 hours was a very satisfying revenge. 😊

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  2. oh gross, gross, gross!! I’m not sure about the worst smell but I do remember the worst sensation while eating. Yeah – I’m gonna go there!

    So I was living and working in South Korea and one student had a snack from home: butterfly larva. Mmmhmmm, you read that correctly! It’s apparently an acquired taste. The little girl said they were delicious, her classmate said DONT DO IT, TEACHER!. We had some free time at the end of class so we were watching a movie and I turned off all the lights and tried one. I’m so glad I did. It was DISGUSTING! A hardish shell and when you bit down, it popped and some sort of ooze sprayed out. Omg I can still feel that happening in my mouth (I should not be eating breakfast right now). I had a hard time eating anything for a few days after that because I could still feel it in my mouth.

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      1. Lol I was chugging water and shoving chocolate in my mouth to try to get rid of the feeling all while trying not to gag in class lol

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      2. I’m surprised you could eat anything! We had a take away dinner one night and we were sitting eating it in front of the TV watching a movie. I felt something sharp in my mouth and thought maybe a bit of the foil container had broken so I pulled it out – and it was a claw! I was violently sick and totally paranoid about whatever the ‘beef’ was.
        We went to the local council health dept the next day who sent it to the Royal College Of Veterinarians. It was 25 mm long. They couldn’t be sure since it was cooked if it was fox or badger. That was enough to get the fast food place shut down but it was weeks before I could eat anything lumpy and a couple of years before I ate that same type of food again!!

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      3. Omg ewww!!! If it was a surprise like that, I think I’d be the same. But I knew what I was eating haha – I wasn’t prepared for the juice but eww gross i need to stop thinking about it lol it’s all coming back to me

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  4. “Dilly Danglers.” He he. My freshman year in high school, one of my friends brought a dead crawfish to school. Another of us happened to have a condom in our wallet. You know, one of those that got carried around for years… Anyway, we decided to put the crawfish in the condom and put the combo in our science teacher’s chair. Miss Jones outdid us by keeping it in a coffee can in her supply closet the rest of the year. Occasionally she brought out the can, took off the lid, and carried it through the classroom as she lectured. That was the worst smell I can remember.

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      1. You should have sued them. The jar could have hurt your legs (glass – nerves cut), and the smell ruined your favorite shoes, which I’m sure were passed to you by your great, great, great x8 randmother. I don’t even want to think about the mental trauma. You are now scared to buy glass products and sometimes you can’t even go to the store in fear of accidents.

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      2. *adds PI lawyer to Goldies resume*
        Great idea but there’s a flaw in the design. Me. Sadly I’m one of these people who wouldn’t sue for something that is my own fault. I could have asked for help, I could have put it down, I could have held it underneath. It was my fault not the stores!
        No filet mignon for you tonight with people like me around. A PI Lawyer would starve with me as a client!!

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    1. Believe it or not… they are AMAZING! I miss them. Britchy- They do come in smaller jars and you can even get them individually wrapped from “7-11” if those are still around.

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      2. They are in yellow package that labeled “Big Mama”, orange packages that say “Tijuana Mama”, or blue packages that say “big johns”… I cheated… I googled them because I forgot the names BUT these are them. They are next to beef jerky (which I don’t care for too much).

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  8. I love pickled things, but I have never heard of Pickled sausage. It does sound rank!

    The smelliest thing I can think of is when I had a hen that went broody. They do these things called ‘Broody poos’ and you really have to run around the house closing all the windows and wear a mask to dispose of them, they stink to high heaven.

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  10. Pingback: 3 Day Lyric Quiz – Born Free, Now I’m expensive ;-) – Tales from the mind of Kristian

  11. Oh my goodness, that sounds awful!! 🤢 The worst smell ever, huh? I’ll premise this by saying that my boyfriend is a prankster and three years ago The Devil lived upstairs in the body of a chubby, entitled twenty-something with four huge dogs, laminate floor, and a propensity for vacuuming in high heels at 3am. Like I said, The Devil.

    Anyways, the psychopathic bitch was stirring the pot–getting drunk, banging on our door, and screaming that she was going to kill us. Though HOA rules allow one dog under 40 pounds, she was exempt because *supposedly* two of the dogs were dying from cancer and the other was an emotional support animal. Riiight.

    We ending buying a bottle of stuff called “Liquid Ass” so you probably imagine what the little spritz of revenge smelled like. A tiny sniff made me literally vomit in my mouth. Anyways, we ended up rigging something to pump some of the rank nastiness into her unit’s A/C system. Easily the most evil thing I’ve even done, but The Devil left shortly thereafter. Liquid Ass. Worst. Smell. Ever. (Though pickled sausages surely come very, very close…)

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  12. Pickled sausage is a big thing here in the Appalachian Mountains of Far Western Maryland and West Virginia. I personally, do not like them, but my husband and dad love them! I always get them each a jar for Christmas.

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  13. Oh, & as far as the worst smell…..

    A colleague of mine and I decided to start hiking, we live in these glorious blue mountains surrounded by lakes, waterfalls, pine, and maple trees! Why not take advantage? Anyway – we started hiking all over, we even found some hidden gems that I never knew existed, I’ve lived here all my life, and never knew! Well, while searching for different places to hike we came across this beautiful hidden path with views of corn and wheat fields, which leads to a Forrest. Well, what we didn’t know & what the website didn’t tell us is that Department of Natural Recourses (DNR) uses the forest to dispose of all road kill and other decaying wild animals….oh my gosh…. the stench was so bad we almost vomited. It was horrible! Keep in mind, this was around mid-July early August, the sun was beaming down, it was a hot day….ugh! I’ll never forget that smell. My stomach is turning just thinking about it now.

    Excuse me while I go inhale my coffee and cream scented wax tarts!!

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  15. Mm, good post – smellies mm, it’s a toss up between being sprayed by a skunk, walking into a room overwhelmed by ammonia, macaroni cheese, durian or falling face first into dead and decomposing bodies of rotting fish? Hard choices indeed. I think l will go with the latter, the fish were by far probably the worst of the smells. So bad in fact that not only was the reaction of throwing up into the pile, but in panic of trying to get out l inhaled, and got a mouth full of scummy sqelch and then threw up again through my nose and it felt like my ears.

    As l love the smell of vinegar l could have handled your slimy dilly dangles any day. 🙂

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  18. My husband had two favorite guilty pleasure foods. One was liver and onions. The smell was so disgusting, I wouldn’t allow it in the house. He could only indulge if we were eating at a diner. Even then, I couldn’t be downwind of it. Some servers refused to serve him; they made someone else deliver his dinner. His second, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), couldn’t be found anywhere except in jars in one grocery store. Pickled lambs’ tongues. They were in what used to be called the foreign foods section. Single most disgusting smell EVER! Worse than baby diarrhea. I made him go out on the porch to eat them. For some strange reason, the grocery store phased them out. He longed for them so badly that, whenever I occasionally came across them, I’d buy him a jar. I had to be in a really good mood. Or going out with the girls for the evening.

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      1. Very similar to pigs feet in jars. He also used to like the homemade version of those. As a Jew, he rarely admitted to it publicly. He would tell me stories of when he was a child, and his father, brother, and he would sneak pigs feet onto the fire escape to feast behind his mother’s back. Of course, with that smell, his mother and all the other Jews in the building would have known about their little escapade!

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  19. Oh, I’d have died. Definitely not gone to get another jar, God bless for your dedication, because I’d have been absolutely done lol. I’m actually very sensitive to chemical smells, and strong scents in general. My dad sometimes puts this by-product chemical on himself to help his back pain (he’s into weird natural remedies like that) and my mom and I both told him he had to STOP. Neither of us could stand to be in the house, the smell was so raunchy

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  20. I lived in the South for a while. I never saw pickled sausages, but I saw pickled eggs and pigs feet – also in big ass glass jars. I never tried them so can’t say how they smelled. The worst thing I have smelled is natto (fermented soy beans.) I lived in Japan a few years and some of my friends ate this, but I could not tolerate the odor or its slimy appearance.

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    1. There’s a Swedish thing too, fermented fish.. that shit is NAAAASTY! It’s worse than pickled sausage by a long shot. There are people heaving trying to eat it on you tube, surstromming!!

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  21. OMGosh, I’ve not heard of such things. Why doesn’t he just eat pickled onions with his salami?
    The romantic sounding notion of living in a stone cottage in the Scottish Highlands turned ugly when reality hit. When stepping out the front door most days meant being overcome by the smell of fermentation from the Whyte and McKay Whiskey Distillery in town. Now I love my single malt but this was unpleasant.
    Then when the sun finally shone….six months into our imprisonment, I threw open the windows to get some fresh air into the old house, only to be hit with the new reality that across the road at the docks there was a fish meal factory, pumping out food for the fish farms. Gag, and windows firmly closed again 🤢

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