Game On – Laughter!!

Game On was Created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!

This twice weekly game will be 21 questions or in truth 16 flexi questions, because there will be five permanent that must stay in place at all time. Apart from those 5 permanent questions, should you choose to reblog, then you can change any of the other 16 questions or create 16 of your own, that’s down to you, however you must stick to the Daily Topic Subject.

The Rules …

1] Leave the Permanent Questions [PQ] always in place PLEASE.

2] Reblog should you so desire

3] If you do reblog, a ping back would always be welcomed so l don’t miss it.

4] This is a non tagger/non nomination game. This is quite simply a small question game. The questions are not specifically that taxing, or they might be if you don’t like questions as many don’t however, they are just here for trivia based fun.

Daily Topic Subject – Laughter

Q1] What is the funniest first name you have ever heard used in the real world? [as in not cartoon or films and so on] I used to work with a girl called Ophelia Martin. She was married and that was her maiden name. She wouldn’t use her husbands name as it was Balls. I also knew an Annette Kurtin and a Holly Berry.

Q2] Why did 6 cry? Because he was spelled with an I and not an E. You would cry too if it happened to you.

Q3] If you awoke one morning and found your five year old self in your current body, what would be the first thing you do? Dear five year old me. On Good Friday when you’re eight, you need to lie on the sofa all day and pretend you don’t feel well. Do not go into the kitchen. Your asshole brother is going to put salt in the sugar bowl and you will get the blame and a hiding. Stay out of the kitchen because wrinkly you is STILL pissed off about it

Q4] If animals could talk which one do you think would be the rudest? Llamas maybe? They already spit so that sounds like Tourette’s to me. I thought of a Shag but that’s a bird and I thought of camel toe and moose knuckle but their just parts so I’m going with a llama
PQ5] What’s the funniest joke you have heard? – it’s your perrogative if you wish to keep this question clean or not. What do you call a man with 95% of his brain removed? A widower.

Q6] What is the strangest and oddest but funniest thing you have ever seen in another person’s home? This would be ‘im indoors friend ElevenBellies he had his wife’s ashes in a large ceramic pot on the coffee table. There was a picture of her next to it so I remarked “Oh that’s lovely” to which ElevenBellies replied “That’s Deadrie” when he left the room, ‘im indoors said “That’s Deadrie” so I replied “Yes I know”. He said “No.. it really IS Deadrie” The awful thing is he sold his house last year and decided on a fresh start so instructed a company to come in and do an Estate Sale. He had marked all the stuff not to be sold and moved it into the TV room but somehow a couple of pieces he wanted to keep got sold anyway.. Deadries Ming style pot bring one of them. It was weird enough when she lived on his coffee table. Now she’s living on some strangers…

If you got a Ming style pot anytime after September last year you might want to.. yeah.

PQ7] What is your most favourite funniest film – provide link please. How do I pick one?! I love Drop Dead Fred. Meet The Parents. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. All of the Vacation films, Borat, The Kingsmen – yeah I think I’ll pick that one because now I want to watch it but you’re a savage for making me pick!

Q8] How many mice would it take to lift an elephant? Are we talking Cockney mice or Peruvian mice? It makes a difference. Peruvian mice are mountain dwellers. It can get pretty cold there so they tend to keep their Andes up their sleeves so their useless at lifting stuff.

Cockney mice on the other hand would lift the fillings out of your teeth, thieving little rat bastards! 2 of those and a van and not only will they lift your elephant, they’ll lift the whole zoo and have it on EBay before you can say camel toe.

Q9] Ok, somehow you have found yourself in front of a panel of doctors in the local insane asylum and you have to convince them that you are not mad, even though you are acting quite bonkers – how would you convince them that you really are ok? I’d tell them that cottage cheese is the creation of the minions of Satan.

No one in their right mind would think otherwise.

Q10] How much did the polar bear weigh? Trick Question, you forgot to say that the Polar Bear was a grocer. He weighed everything in pounds and ounces because only asses like the metric system

Q11] What is your definition of humour – how do you ‘define’ it? Humour is whatever makes you laugh. It’s different for everyone because we all have different personalities and triggers. You can absolutely guarantee that at some point in life somebody will take offence at something you say when being funny. A lot of people have commented they don’t like my blog name. They see a slur in it. It’s about me not them so frankly, they can shove off! Unless you set out to be spiteful then that’s their problem. To thine own self be true.

PQ12] Blimey!! You have just landed the task of making a room filled with straight faces laugh – how are you going to achieve it?? I’m going to tell them that the Kardashians are a lovely family and that they are excellent role models for how to get ahead in life…

Q13] Who is your favourite comedienne? Dawn French. She’s funny and gorgeous and just someone you want for a best friend

Q14] Do butterflies remember their life as a caterpillar? Of course they do, it’s why they drink.

PQ15] What is the funniest quote you know? You’re doing that make me bloody pick stuff!! Imma gonna get ugly! Wait – too late!

“The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.” Gore Vidal

Q16] Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? You can – and I do, add Cointreau or Grand Marnier to carrots when cooking. Basically these are distilled orange juice. Oranges are that good they live forever as spirits. We could talk about my belief in the spirit world but I’ll save that for happy hour. Adding what amounts to orange juice to carrots makes them orangier. There is no spirit of carrots. Not even Bugs Bunny would go there hence the fact that carrots are orangey but oranges aren’t carrots.

Q17] why does grass smell only when it’s been cut? Because it’s nose was blocked. You can’t smell nuffink with a blocked nose silly. This can be a real blessing if you had egg sandwiches for lunch.

Q18] If a word is spelt incorrectly in a dictionary – how would you know if you didn’t have any way of checking it? Listen, I use half Brit, half American, half made up words and 50% profanity. You’re asking the wrong person. I can’t help you with your maths homework either.

Q19] What is the worst funniest joke you know? Joe and Tom had been at the bar for a while when Joe said he’d give Tom $20 if he’d take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.

Tom: “No way, man. That’s disgusting!” Joe: “What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??” Tom: “Uh. No. Even for $50, that’s just too gross!” Joe: “Well…what if I offered you $100? C’mon…it’s just one sip!” Tom: “Well…I guess it won’t kill me and I really can’t turn down that offer.”

So…Tom picks up the spittoon to take a sip and keeps on drinking from it…glug…glug…glug…

At this point, Joe is repulsed and says to Tom: “Alright, already! STOP! You’re grossing me out. You only had to take ONE sip!!”

Tom promptly empties the spittoon, puts it back on the bar, wipes off his mouth and sits down next to Joe.

Joe: “Why did you do that??? That’s was SO disgusting!! The bet was for you to take ONE sip and you drank the whole damn thing!”…to which Tom replied: “I couldn’t stop. It was all one piece.”

PQ20] Are you deleting any questions, if so which ones?
Nope!

Q21] What was Captain Hooks name before he got the hook? He was quite the adventurer y’know. He used to sell exotic pets, kinda like someone else I know…

He got his name, Bertrand Balltickler because he had a very unique way to catch lizards. He would sneak up behind them and fondle them. This rendered them useless so he could sling them in a sack and take them back to the shop. It was great. Sadly old B.B. was a bit shortsighted. He was down by the river in the Catchmacoochie Jungle and he saw a huge lizard.

‘Wow what a beauty’ he thought. So he snuck up behind it and lo and behold, not only was it a lady – it wasn’t a lizard at all! It was a bleedin’ great crocodile who turned round and bit his arm off!

BB was in a bit of a fix. He wasn’t a well man, in fact, he had a bit of a dodgy ticker- so he threw it at the crocodile and I think you know the rest of that story.

His old livelihood was cut short if you know what I mean and so he turned to the swag life.