Autumn, Dark Nights and Pumpkin Spice..

~ the britchy one

Make no mistake, these are NOT a few of my favorite things. This is that time of year when I just cannot overestimate the gullibility of people. Seriously.

Don’t get me wrong, I love pumpkin spice – as in a mix of ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon (i leave out allspice and cloves because my pie, my rules)

However, I like to up the ratio of nutmeg and ginger and reduce the cinnamon because y’know America – there ARE other flippin’ spices than flippin’ cinnamon. Yes this is a pet peeve. I know it isn’t the first cinnamon rant you’ve heard out of me. Know this, it won’t be the last either!

“Pumpkin spice” flavouring is orange coloured cinnamon mixed with hopelessness and cardboard. It’s the taste of failure and mulch.

It makes me want to, well..

I like Pumpkin pie, cake, cookies, pumpkin roll… even pumpkin cheesecake. Baked goods are all good. I can even get the coffee thing although it’s not one I like.

That’s it though America! Enough! Now you done gone lost the plot!

Obviously marketing companies have realised this scented shit floats peoples boats because the market is saturated! SATURATED I TELL YOU!

There’s pumpkin spice cereal, gum and chocolate. There are even pumpkin spice marshmallows. Soft globs of desperation flavored stale air and as for pumpkin spiced peeps. May God have mercy on your soul you heathen.

I have seen the future and it’s pumpkin spiced kale chips. I honestly didn’t think you could make kale worse but bugger me with a fish fork, y’all gone done it! Pumpkin spiced kombucha too. There’s no end to this. What’s next? Pumpkin spiced cremations? It’s about the only market left unbesmirched!

Pumpkin spice air freshener, toilet paper ..I shit you not – wait, I sh.. never mind!

The inhumanity just goes on. I fully expect pumpkin spice condoms and if you are dumb enough to try those – you get what you deserve! Right in the ‘feels’! Cinnamon and Ginger are ‘heat’ spiced.. there’s your warning. Great balls of Fire won’t be all you have, there’ll be Burning Love too! Who knew there was even a pumpkin spice playlist?!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

80 thoughts on “Autumn, Dark Nights and Pumpkin Spice..”

  4. I’m speechless (almost) and hardly know where to begin. The artfully placed pumpkin stem on Mr. Autumn’s centerfold? Or pumpkin Spam…. something more disgusting than I thought possible. But then you went and did it. Pumpkin spiced kale chips! Aaaaacccckkkkk!

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  5. That’s crazy !!
    It is said that when the first giraffe was introduced in France in the 17th or 18th century it was soooo strange for them that they made clothes, horses, hats, boots, all they could think of, with the giraffe’s color.

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  7. I have tried a Soya Pumpkin Spice Latte or maybe it was Gingerbread Latte…I am really not sure if I would be able to tell the difference…I think it was fairly nice on a cold wintry day.
    But…it looks quite terrifying the way it is taking over every part of the house over in the states.
    I do pray that this does not happen here.

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    1. Me too! It’s the last bastion of safety for me! Gingerbread lattes are actually delicious and gingerbread hot chocolate is seriously wonderful! I buy bottles of sugar free ginger syrup to add to hot chocolate at home because it’s a cuddle from the inside out.

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    1. Butternut squash is delicious and the soup is fabulous. I have a brilliant recipe for butternut squash soup with apple that I love. Pumpkin – I do love pumpkin pie and pumpkin roll which is like a Swiss roll with cream cheese buttercream. That’s wonderful. It’s fabulous in baked goods but it’s the weird stuff and the scented stuff that drives me doolally!!

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  12. I don’t use all spice in my pumpkin pie just cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and a dash of clove.

    These examples are crazy, but not surprising as we in the US do take everything to extremes. That being said I do make a pumpkin spice soap. It was one of my first experiments with adding foods to soaps. I use pumpkin, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg in the recipe. Cinnamon and nutmeg are two scents that actually survive the soap making process. So I guess maybe that makes me “crazy” as well. LOL.

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  15. That guy wearing the pumpkin parts is just creepy! I hate to see summer leave. I love everything about summer – the heat, the humidity, the light, the food. Pumpkin is OK, but it is not as good as fresh strawberries!

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    1. Apple cider remains one of my biggest disappointments. When I first moved here I was visiting a friend who asked if I’d like some apple cider. It was 11:30am and I was impressed! In England, Cider is alcoholic or there’s apple juice. It’s very different! There I was thinking that’s pretty hardcore ..so naturally I accepted! What I got was a glass of syrupy murky apple juice that tasted like a gloopy cinnamon graveyard off the spice road. I can’t even see it since then without disappointment!

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  22. Excellent – l am not that big on pumpkin admittedly, prefer marrow more. But loved the Squitter Starting Pack! Oh l so know, so many people who l could serve that up to!

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  26. That stuff is the most noxious .. and wait! Did you actually write (say) “bugger me with a fish fork?” Um. Well here’s hoping your proctologist insurance is paid up…wait a ‘mo. You’re ‘in’ the UK, aren’t you? Nevermind. Oops. Checked my facts and nope, you’re stuck ‘over here’ paying through the gob like the rest of us indentured ‘citizens’ koff koff ***serfs, plebeians, slaves, fodder for the orange grist mill *** koff koff …. um. Got off track. BUT you did ‘Spark’ a blog post in which you’ll get full credit.

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  28. Pingback: Tis Fall and the Scent.. | sparksfromacombustiblemind

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