Of all the life advice I can give – don’t wear shoes in the fridge probably isn’t necessary for anyone but me…
Welcome to the daily insanity brought to you today by …well who else do you think of when the sentence has ‘insanity’ in it?!
This incident occurred before the washing machine incident. You’d think I’d learned my lesson that domestic appliances aren’t toys but no. We still had adventures with food mixers, blenders and microwaves ahead yet (separate incidents, I have never microwaved a blender. Yet)
So waaay back in the day, Titselina Bumsqueak and I had idle hands. It wasn’t just the devil that made work for idle hands, my mum did too. This was back in the days when my mum owned a hotel so there was nothing for it, we were set to making beds. Child labour was a wonderful thing in those days, if you weren’t a child that is. We weren’t either, we were 18/19 but as is the ways of parenthood. In the eyes of those that birthed you, You Are Always A Child and as such, You Can Always Be Told Off.
Kids today don’t know they’re born..
We shuffled off to grab sheets and pillowcases – it wouldn’t have crossed our minds to refuse!! We got quite lucky actually as the chambermaids had already done the majority of the work so I think we made two beds apiece. We snuck down the back stairs and lurked in the pantry so we weren’t assigned any more jobs. This was also where cakes, gateaus etc were kept so we had a little quality assurance session while we hid out!
There we sat, on stainless steel counters, swinging our legs and talking about fellas as you do when you’re18/19! One of the fridges was empty for a deep clean and all the shelves were soaking in the pan bash (giant bathtub sized sink)
TB had a brainwave. I had to climb in the fridge, she’d shut the door when someone was coming then she would ask for help and I’d fall out on them like a corpse! We almost needed new knickers we were laughing so hard picturing it! We decided to have a trial run to perfect our plot and all I can say is thank goodness for trial runs. When in prank mode, always have a trial run. It can save a lot of trouble further down the line.
We jumped down off the counter – an easier task for TB than me as she was six inches taller than me. I never went anywhere without ankle snapping stilettos though so we didn’t look like little and large! I could run for the bus and jump on in six inch heels in those days. These days I nearly have a seizure running a bath!
Anyway, she ceremoniously opened the door and I climbed in. Thankfully she hadn’t shut the door when we both heard a loud violent hissing sound. What the heck?
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
We both looked and saw my heel sticking through the liner of the fridge. The hissing was gas escaping.
Freaking Superman couldn’t have shut that door and legged it faster than we did. We were gone. We were out of the kitchen and escaped the building faster than you could blink. We hid out at TB’s house for a couple of hours and then slunk back furtively.
Mum was on the rampage. Some blithering idiot must have dropped something in the fridge – it looked like a knife and the bloody thing was wrecked!
We were shocked and stunned and “Who would do such a thing” with the best of them! She never guessed it was us and unless they have WordPress in heaven, she won’t! We WOULD have owned up if someone else was getting the blame but since it was a generic stink eye we kept shtum!
Oh and yes I DO know fridges are very dangerous. Don’t ever get inside one because they seal air tight and you will suffocate. If you ever have to dispose of a fridge please take the door off so children and animals can’t get trapped in it. See, I can be responsible and save the Earth and shit.
All I want to say is that I want a piece of that cake in the picture lol please send it to my house. That is all.
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That’s a very basic strawberry gateau with fresh whipped cream and flaked almonds! Super easy! The cake is drenched in a vanilla syrup and filled with jam and cream them a jam mirror on top and cream swirls with flaked almonds. It’s very light (so you can eat more!)
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Then just send the whole cake! Haha
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I daresay your friend would be just as upset as your mother to know that she will now and forever be known as Titselena Bumsqueak.
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No that’s what I always called her! I was Fanny Fernackerpants!
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That might require an explanation….
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This was an awesome story. However I must dispute the theory that insanity in a sentence is only about you….a few people who know me may take umbrage to you claiming title. 😂😂😂😏
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We’ll share!!
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I am down with that. The Canadian and US/British insanity awards go to……
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Actually.. they go to everyone BUT us… we’re not the ones insane enough to put up with ourselves!!
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Lmao 😂😂😂😂
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Have mercy. Squeaky bums & stiletto heels…🤣
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Aren’t you glad you aren’t in upstate NY?!
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With an impending hurricane strike in the next couple of days? Hmmm…
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The devils dilemma. Face a hurricane or stay with Britchy?! 😂
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Britchy wins, hands down. 💕
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👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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HahahHah, oh man, hilarious. I wonder if new fridges still work the same as far as opening and closing. From what I understand, the ice boxes of the past had actual latches, whereas today, it relies solely on the seal. I still wouldn’t chance it though!
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No they seal tight! Im noticing how hard it is to open now because my shoulders are scuttered so a child absolutely couldn’t
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Thanks for testing it out so the rest of us don’t have to!
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I knew I was good for something!
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Bravo!! Being responsible and saving the Earth and shit👏👏 No one has tried to hide in our fridge but I do keep finding my younger daughter’s cell phone in there. I guess since it’s ALWAYS in her hand, she has to set it down to grab anything else and then she forgets it. SMH😂😂
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I’ve done that! I’ve also put other people’s phones in the fridge to make them look for it. With my husband, some days it’s the only exercise he gets!
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🤣🤣
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I thought such things only happened in the movies?!
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I have a DVD player – it counts.
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VHS only allowed.
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Yer mean
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Noooooo! It was going so well. Do not blow my cover.
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household appliances are not toys repeat after me….
also one must always an exit plan!!!
the earth can take care of itself if anything it needs saving from us lol
~B
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Ain’t that the truth!!!
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What kind of fridge was it? I thought the bottom of fridges is sturdy?
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It was just a basic upright. The inside is all plastic
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Those stilettos must have been real sharp. Ouch.
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Yup, I wore skinny heels and they could hurt if dragged down someone’s face!
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Is that a threat?
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Great dessert! And great post! I love the humor!
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Thank you very much 😊
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So, with 6in heels, you were what, 5’5″? 😉
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Keep going sonny! I know where to hit to make you three feet tall!! I’m 5’1” if I’m not allowed to cheat and stand on anything
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Hahaha.
Yeah, one of the weaknesses of being a guy 😦
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😱
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Ah l have been away from the humour of Britchy, but am catching up, excellent, reminds me of the time l got shut into the walk in freezer for a prank and then they left me there for two hours, which is the time it took me to figure out the prank was on me!
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Jeez you must have been frozen!
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I was, almost quite literally!
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I wonder if murderers take the shoes off their victims before they put the bodies in freezers? Maybe this could be a tip for their handbook. 🙂
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That’s a great point! I’ve seen some super cool shoes so it’s possible…
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