Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts

~ the britchy one

I had to go to Best Buy today as I wanted an original Samsung charger for my tablet.

I went in wearing my “vegetarian vampire” shirt and this mall cop stood right in front of me stuck his thumbs in his belt all cocky and said ” So what does a vegetarian vampire do then?”

In my defence he’d really got on my nerves because he thought he was Gods gift to women – and he’d got my back right up.. so I replied (too quickly)

“Well lets put it like this, it wouldn’t be your blood I’d suck” ….. then I realised how it sounded…. I’m sitting here now blushing! My face is scarlet as I type this and I’m not even having to tell you face to face!!

I’ve changed my voicemail. It now says ‘You have reached the Britchy voicemail.

Press one for English.

Press two for PROPER English.’ Let’s see how many people I can mystify or piss off with this!

The biggest lie ever: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

I bought some multivitamins yesterday. I took one yesterday and one today and I’m STILL sick. I think I’ve been ripped off.

Life is too short for regrets.

So ….after mortally wounding your enemies, learn to forgive yourself and move on.

See – I can be inspirational too 🙂

A text conversation between me and my daughter:

And finally, some Britchy advice (Because there wasn’t any good advice to be found) – There are things in life you can control and things you can not control. One thing you CAN control, is how much control you give the things you can not control.

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

43 thoughts on “Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts”

  9. I liked your post, it amused me. It reminder me of when I went to the local shop to buy milk I’d forgot in my Tesco uniform and the counter staff said: ‘What don’t they sell milk in Tescos.’. And I said: ‘yes, but I forgot to pick it up and thought I’d support my local shop rather than drive all the way back to work.’ Anyway, I’m much more careful about wearing my uniform anywhere else now.

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  12. Well Britchy, l am not sure how to react ……. it’s a toss up and excuse the terrible pun betwen my salty nuts or , no not that the terrible pun is between my salty nuts either, but … oh good grief moving along swiftly!

    But it was this …….. lmao … ““Well lets put it like this, it wouldn’t be your blood I’d suck” As a Vegetarian, what else could you suck? Mm, must hit Google for answer l feel ….

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  13. Pingback: Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts — Bitchin’ in the Kitchen – A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!

  14. Gawd that last paragraph? Is going to be stuck in my brain pan like an ear worm one cannot ‘un-hear’. Proper English…. mwahahahahahhaha…. you state side girl, we ain’t gots no ‘proper’ language at all. We the yank keys……. heh.

    Actually, I thought this post was hilarious and very crisply written. Kudos. I’m off to improve my vocabulary by reading the dictionary. And listening to persons from ‘across that big pond.’ 😉

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