A-Z Of Things I Am NOT Thankful For..

~ the britchy one

A listers. Who the actual eff groups people like this? Oh you’re not good enough for this group so you go in second best, third best and so on. No wonder these people are so shallow. Entertainment is a fickle, immoral industry. Whatever I do or don’t wish for my kids, Hollywood ain’t on MY A list.

Bullying. I think by now you’re in no doubt how I feel about this. I’m sick of seeing bullies as victims too. Most of us have gone through shitty times. Not many become bullies because of it. Stop excusing their behaviour.

Corruption I thought of Cancer but that’s another form of corruption. I’m sick of corrupt politics EVERYWHERE. It’s worldwide. Stop excusing it. I’m sick of Worldwide corrupt media choosing what they will and won’t feed us. To stop rot outside we need to check ourselves first and change what we don’t like. You can hide from everyone but yourself. Be honest with yourself and be the person on the inside you want others to see on the outside.

Drivers. Bad Drivers and you know who I’m taking about! Drunk and drugged drivers, texting drivers, fiddling with the radio drivers… pay attention to the road assholes before you kill someone.

Education or rather, our useless education systems that are failing our children. I’ve seen this with my own kids in both the U.K. and the US. Take out tenure for teachers so they don’t get complacent and have them teach facts not opinions. My eight year old Irish niece was able to tell me her teacher taught a lesson telling them Obama was bad. She’s welcome to her opinion but she better keep it the hell out of my kids minds unless she wants her size 3 up her arse!

Facebook. This really is quite a disaster area isn’t it? Between banning breastfeeding pics but allowing hate groups, spying on people, selecting what you can and can’t see and all the other shady, squalid practices they have it’s a truly despicable organization. If I could give one piece of advice to kids it would be stay away. This shit is worse for you than smoking.

Greed. I think a lot misunderstand this. Just because someone has more than you doesn’t make them greedy. If they’ve worked hard and taken risks they deserve their good fortune. Greed is expecting stuff for you above others or to the exclusion of others. It’s expecting to have what you want with no return. If you overspend on a credit card and can’t afford to repay, that’s on you, not the bank.

Homelessness. I hate that there’s a section of society that we’re failing. There are people on the streets through no fault of their own and a lot of mentally ill people who need care. We’re so bound up in the Victorian view of ‘institutions’ that we are allowing a group of people who need to be in a care facility to fall through the cracks. I’d like to see hostels for homeless to get back on their feet. Somewhere they can live while they find a job. A hand up, not a hand out. Somewhere that’s a short term haven that would enable them to have an address and get a job and bank account and save for an apartment of their own.

Insects Well apart from bees because I am rather fond of honey. Anything with more than four legs is creepy. I should never have watched The Fly, I still can’t bear to look at Jeff Goldblum! I don’t care if insects are necessary etc etc, I don’t like them. I don’t have to. My list, my rules!

Journalism. I have a BIG problem right there. Keeping a journal entry of your opinions is not reporting the news in a clear and factual manner. The media USED to help bring politicians to account. Now it enables them and can’t be trusted. We are fed what they want us to hear and nothing more. Less journalists and more reporters are needed before I’ll believe a news report again. What’s happening now is there are such conflicting stories, people pick the one to believe. It’s like how Santa leaves presents for kids and it’s stupid. All it does is divide us even more. Remember. A Nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.

K – Potassium. Whether you have to take it orally or intravenously it sucks. It tastes awful if you drink it, it’s giant flippin’ horse pills you can’t swallow or it burns the hell out of your veins. Here’s a tip I was given by a nurse when I choked on pills in hospital. Take them with a spoon of yogurt or apple sauce. It really works.

Labels. Why oh why do people love wearing stuff with labels all over it? If I’m buying something for me to wear or a handbag, I’m stuffed if I’m giving free advertising away. Also relevant, why do manufacturers HAVE to put labels on the neck of clothes where they drive me batty? I’m not a fan of labels inside or outside my clothes.

Maths. Blame Sister Brigid because she was such a sadistic twisted bitch she had me shaking even thinking of her lessons. Think Snape without the good side.

Nuns. I don’t understand why people who take themselves out of the regular world and think they’re better than everyone else are a suitable choice to educate kids. I’ve never had a nun teacher who wasn’t a warped and twisted human being.

Ozone layer. I’m sat here, blue balls below zero in Frozen NY wondering where I went wrong in life. What happened to my bloody global warming?! I’m getting me an aerosol can today and I’m gonna stand outside and kill a few ozone’s myself! Little buggers grrr!! (I’m joking!!)

Prison. I fully agree with punishment but I think prison is not always the answer. Prisons are often corrupt and run by gangs. The idea of prison should be to understand where you went wrong and learn skills so you don’t do it again. That’s where “corrections” comes in and we don’t have it. I’m absolutely in favour of prison and punishment but without an element of correction, it’s worthless. There are some who should never see the light of day again and some who shouldn’t be in there. The system needs a drastic overhaul.

Queer. The word not people it’s used in conjunction with. It’s an ugly word to describe someone who is different. What the hell is our obsession with categorising people? I want to know what you’re like not who you sleep with FFS.

Relatives. The most judgemental,obnoxious, poisonous people some of us ever meet have a blood tie. I’ve seen more people who are hurt by ‘family’ than I ever have by their friends. Some of my relatives are wonderful but frankly, most aren’t.

Snow. It’s the season to be frozen and I’m not happy! I hate the white shite. I’m afraid of trying to walk on it because my bones are so bad so winter is pure anxiety for me every time I venture out of the house.

Telemarketers. I’m sure I’m not the only one that hates cold calls! I’m on the no call register but that stops nothing. I never give my phone number or email in stores etc because they sell that data. I’m fed up of the barrage of incessant wankers cold calling me.

Umbrellas. Being 5’1” I daren’t use them. I’d take someone’s eye out! They’re so annoying. They blow inside out or they’re huge. They drop all over the place, you get arm ache fighting with them trying to hold them up. They’re LETHAL on windy days! Honestly, I prefer just getting wet.

Vibes. Oh how I cringe when I see people ‘sending vibes!’ Do you put a stamp on them? Of all the meaningless platitudes this is the most inane

Warm public toilet seats. Yeah. Nothing else needed to add – You Know!

Xenophobia. Newsflash. Not everyone born in another country is bad. Some are. Some are awful. The thing is, people born in your own country can be pretty damn vile too. If someone had emigrated to your country legally they had to pass a lot of background checks. They might be fantastic or they might still be an asshole but don’t you think you should give them the benefit of the doubt?

YOLO. Take your pumpkin spice latte Becky and eff off! We’re so done with YOLO, it was passé three years ago. Stop making me feel stabby.

Zealots. I don’t need saving. I like bacon and booze. I don’t think a woman’s place is in the home. I gave at the bar on my way to my blood transfusion.

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

92 thoughts on “A-Z Of Things I Am NOT Thankful For..”

  1. Drivers- I learned to drive in Boston, the home of aggressive driving so when I moved to Florida or even when I travel the US, I’m constantly angered by drivers. It’s particularly bad here in Orlando because there are so many tourists that don’t have the slightest clue where they are going or what they are doing. I hate them. I’m just trying to go to work damn it.

    Queer- As I gay man, I hate that damn word. I hate being called it. I don’t know why, maybe it’s like the word “moist” for other people. Or “panties”. Or “lovers”

    Education- I have had the pleasure of traveling the US and speaking at hundreds of schools and I have seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst. It scares me, the state of education and our schools. It makes me so damn sad. Then I look at college/university life. I was bullied by my parents to go to college and all it got me was a massive debt, screwed up credit, and a really expensive piece of paper that I don’t use. Not once have I ever been asked about my degrees. It was all a big lie and I’m pissed about it.

    I have other thoughts but this reply is already too long.

    Oiy.

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      4. I was exactly the same Kristian.
        It was only when I sent a condolence text message to someone who had just lost a relative and ended it with LOL that someone finally educated me that it did not mean lots of love, but laugh out loud. I was mortified!

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      14. BTW…
        thank you for your other comment…I did not want to reply on my own post because I know he has looked at my blog before
        He has been friendly towards me for some time, but he has known about Goldfinch all year, and has always said he would never want to interfere with my relationship with Goldfinch.
        For a long time, he has made out that he was shy and awkward around women and he kept saying he found me easy to talk to and open up to. He kept on calling me his best friend. I have expressed again and again that I was uncomfortable with some of his expressions towards me about how much I mean to him. He started telling me he loved me recently.

        Well…now in recent times, it has come to my attention that does not seem shy with women at all, not if the string of conquests he has made indicates anything. He has confirmed everything to me.

        I personally feel that it’s only appropriate to pursue a romantic connection with someone who is not already in a romantic relationship or a legal relationship (marriage) with someone else. It turns out he and I think very differently on that score.

        I find it really strange because for so long he has made me think he is one thing…and now it turns out he is quite the other. I am kind of annoyed. I want to throw loads of iced water on any ideas he has about him and I spending more time together when Goldfinch leaves.

        Yup….to be honest, I am flabbergasted at what he has been getting up to in recent months especially.
        He is clearly panicked that I have expressed my poor opinion on his “social life” and is trying to justify all of the relationships he has had claiming the women involved were pushy.
        The last thing I said to him is that he and I are two very different people it turns out and I am still trying to come to terms with the stark contrast between all that he claimed about himself and what he actually seems to be.

        Hmm….I am still a bit upset to be honest, It’s probably best I wait until I have calmed down before I respond to any more of his texts.

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  4. Holy Crap Britchy, you friggin nailed it to the wall again. Good on you!!! Awesome, badass, absolutely incredible list.

    On another note, soon I will be interviewing a person who wants to talk about the homeless situation. They have worked to help them out.

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  5. You are so spot on again.
    It’s funny how words can mean such different things, depending when and where you were raised.
    Queer is a word my mother used to use when something was odd or strange but she never referred to a person that way.
    The same as the word Gay to me makes me think of ‘happy times’. In Australia (not sure if they have had to rename them), growing up my favourite ice-cream was a Golden Gaytime and I was still able to buy them 5 years ago.
    I even caught myself singing the Kookaburra song the other day when I saw a couple of Kingfisher (same bird family). Some of the words: “Laugh, Kookaburra laugh, Kookaburra gay old life has he”. I found myself looking around nervously in case someone heard me and got offended.
    Britchy, if you haven’t seen the Aussie (1990’s) film, ‘The Castle’, I think you’d appreciate the droll Aussie humour. The ‘vibe’ becomes a legal terminology, of sorts.

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  9. “texting drivers”

    Oh man, isn’t that the truth? If I ever get to be governor of my state, I’m going to issue bounties on texting drivers. A free handgun and a box of 100bullets to everyone who fills out the paperwork and becomes a legal bounty hunter…

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  12. Lol spot on, as always.

    The only two I’m not totally on board with are:
    Queer – I’ve met quite a few LGBTQ folks who told me they identify as queer. I figure, if they like the word enough to use it themselves, that’s okay.

    Warm toilet seats – these are okay in Japan. On cold days I REALLY appreciate those hot loo seats. I mean, I’ll admit it took me ages to get used to them though!

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    1. I know people who refer to themselves as queer too and that’s absolutely fine! I just don’t like the connotation that it’s something ‘not right’. At the end of the day, as with all vocabulary, you just have to pick your words and your audience. I think I’ve heard it used too much as a slur to be comfortable with it but I can totally see how some choose to take the power out of it by using it themselves. Like any derisory epithet, it only has power if you let it 😊

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      1. Yeah, I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling someone queer, but I like that so many people have reclaimed it. ❤

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  15. Excellent list. I now know what YOLO means.

    The word that makes me cringe, on that subject, is ‘faggot’. I know Brits think cigs but, here it is an awful slam. It is right up there with the ‘n’ word.

    Potassium? I guess you are taking supplements? Why? Don’t like bananas? Avocadoes?

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    1. Surprisingly baked potatoes have more potassium than bananas! I don’t absorb it very well hence the supplements/transfusions.
      I grew up with fags (cigarettes) and faggots (kind of meatballs in a rich gravy) so it is equally as odd to me that they’re unacceptable. The one I cringe at is ‘fanny’ as it’s harmless here but it’s slang for a vagina in England. It’s very interesting how word usage differs depending on what side of the Atlantic you’re on.

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      1. Wow. And, ‘fanny’ is actually archaic by today’s terms. That’s like my grandparents era when it was improper to say ‘butt’ or, god forbid ‘ass’.

        Heh. Two countries separated by a common language. 🤔🤨

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  16. How about a warm padded toilet seat that blows raspberries whenever someone sits down on it? There was one of those in the apartment we stayed in during our trip to Brasov.

    Am I allowed to still have a soft spot for George Clooney as Dr Ross in ER? And Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride? But I have an ever bigger soft spot for Maria Von Trapp in The Sound Of Music – I think she is my mentor!

    Heaven help anyone who tries to save you Britchy!!! 😀

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  18. LOL!!! Awesome post! I’m reading it like YES YES YES YES CHECKKK CHECKKKKK lol! And then I got to the driver part and I’m sitting traffic reading and commenting LOL OOOOPPSS! I am notorious for blogging and driving LOL I know it’s dangerous. I’m always fighting the hours in a day doing all the fucking things and someday it’s gonna get me killed. I promise to stop being an asshole. I promise!!! The labels part reminds me of my daughter. She WILL NOT wear it if you don’t rip or cut all the damn labels off the inside of her clothes! Your post is on point! Sending all the positive vibes your way girl!

    Lmfaooo JUST KIDDING!!!

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  20. nose crinkle. I absolutely love winter and snow. As soon as Jan 6 hits, I remove all Christmas stuff and put up winter things. Snow and snowmen and penguins and bears and sleds….
    Many of the rest, I’ll have to agree with. Sometimes I wonder if I belong in my family in Oregon……..

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      4. Oh hell no! I want a gun and I will have one when I move out of this asshole state (NY). If I wanted one illegally it wouldn’t be a problem but to get one through proper channels is almost impossible.

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  25. Hilarious. I think we can all agree with several of these. Drivers is one that always gets me too, especially if I’m riding passenger. It’s not that difficult to stop for a damn school bus.

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  27. This was hilarious. It must have taken a long time to write. I thought the elemental letter K was awesome. I guess you love kites and kittens too much.

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