Some thoughts to ponder today..
Public Service Announcement:
Having lost my mind I ordered a peppermint mocha coffee this morning.
It was *%¥@# AWFUL.
You can save money by squeezing 6” of toothpaste and 8 tablespoons of sugar into your coffee to recreate the shite at home
I had one mouthful and then shared it with the bin.
I’m shocked at the amount of condoms old ladies buy the moment they leave their shopping carts unattended.
Death is hereditary.
Interesting fact: A shark will only attack you if you are wet.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
Have you ever noticed that when people say “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit” It always coincides with them not having a witty reposte? If they had anything better to say you can bet your sharp tongue they’d say it – wassocks!!
You deserve what you accept
Women are only called feminists when they express opinions that differentiate them from a doormat or a hooker.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman has to do what he can’t.