It’s back to being just the two of us for a while which is nice. Well, the two of us and Daisy the devil dog. Oh and Milo the farting beagle, Chunks the Destroyer Of Cat Food And Hell Boy, the scaredy cat. But if you don’t count all of them – it’s just the two of us!
Confused? Good. That means you’re paying attention!
‘im indoors decided he was going to have some peanut butter on ritz crackers earlier. It’s his favourite ‘sick’ food. You know – the stuff you want to eat when you feel like death warmed up and At No Other Time.
I don’t currently have a favourite sick food. It USED to be Hot Ribena (blackcurrant cordial diluted with hot instead of cold water) and Heinz Cream Of Tomato Soup until a rather spectacular tummy bug mid 2018 when I threw it all up and totally Jackson Pollocksed the bathroom wall and shower curtain. We had to replace the shower curtain and repaint the wall it stained so badly. Happy days!! But – as usual – I digress.
Anyway, his Manbola isn’t any better. I think it might be developing into Manflammation of MENingitis. I’ll be ‘curing’ him with my antibiotic claw hammer if he doesn’t stop whining and sniffing and describing his snot flow, that’s a certainty.
He keeps his precious ritz crackers now the cupboard above my double oven along with a jar of peanut butter I don’t use. This way I don’t yell if there’s crumbs in it and we’re both happy. This cupboard is pretty high up. The doors are a good six inches or more above my head. He got his goodies out and shuffled across the kitchen to grab a plate and left the door open. I walked past and closed it so he didn’t hit his head. See?! I CAN be nice!! The fact that I didn’t want to listen to any more whining is immaterial- I was being NICE!!
Well stroppy balls got in a right tizzy about it. He spluttered that he left it open on purpose and walked back and opened it again!! You couldn’t make this shit up!! Anyway, he had his crackers and peanut butter (which is nasty and dries my mouth out just thinking about it!) – put his plate and knife in the dishwasher and walked across to put his crap away and yes Dear Reader, you guessed it! He smacked his smug fizzing straight into the cupboard door! He turned around howling like a banshee and tripped over the dishwasher door that he’d left open and did a spectacular swan dive to the floor landing with precision on his (fortunately) padded derrière!
It was at this point I learned he could speak Chinese. It definitely sounded like ‘Ai bang mi fa kin ni’ which is probably a Chinese blessing or something…
There’s a moral to all of this of course. LISTEN TO YOUR BLOODY WIFE DUMBASS!!
It might take me a week to get over that picture of the bathroom – but ‘im – I laughed at ‘im; silly sod!
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Avoid Ribena and Tomato Soup. At. All. Costs..
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They never do . . .
FYI, me being a shorty, my hubby thought it was hilarious to buy me a footstool for Christmas to use in the kitchen so I don’t keep asking him to reach for things!
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Men!! Can’t live with them can’t bury them behind the garage pffft!!
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Horribly familiar type of scenario. Dippy eggs and soldiers good sick food?
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Yup!! They’re fabulous sick food and colourless which is one of my new requirements!!
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Dippy eggs & soldiers?
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Soft boiled eggs you can dip toast in! You cut the toast in half horizontally and cut each half in 4. Those are the ‘soldiers’ and their the perfect size for dipping in the egg! Don’t forget when you finish the egg to put a hole in the bottom of the empty shell so witches can’t use them for boats!
Jeez childhood was complicated!!
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That’s neat. Never had a soft boiled egg. Hard boiled, fried, scrambled, omelet…yeah. No soft & no poached. I was raised in the wrong class here in NC. 😔😞
Gotta watch those witches!
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Hahahaha!!! I hope he closes the door next time.
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You never can tell if he’ll learn or not!
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This so hilarious. I hope that your hubby didn’t do damage to himself. But they never listen to the wife, do they?
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Nope! He got so aerated when I closed that silly door too! You’d think I’d sacrificed his first born or something !!
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No learning of the lessons!
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Thank you so much for this, I am still laughing out loud! xx
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I’m smirking! I’ve said it’s ‘because I’m reading s funny story’… but He Knows!!!
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LOL :O) x
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Hahaha! Poor you, living with manbola in the house. 😬
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I’m just glad I’m not a man and only get the odd cold and stuff… 🙄
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I would like to take a moment to protest this post. Manbola is a VERY serious thing and should not be made fun of. Men are very delicate creatures and besides having manbola at the drop of a hat, posts like this can hurt our feelings. 😉
I had to laugh at the soup and shower curtain story. All I could think of was Andy Warhol’s picture of the can of campbell’s tomato soup 😀
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Manbola is no laughing matter… ask any wife!!
I didn’t realise that Andy Warhol pic was considered ‘art’ for years.. I honestly wondered why people thought the soup was so good they had an advert for it hanging on the wall
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Ha, I still don’t consider it art 😉
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Me either!
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Was he auditioning for the Laurel and Hardy remake? lol. 🙂
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Now there’s an idea! I don’t think I could take ‘That’s another fine mess you’ve got us into’ tho!
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🙂
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I have never been cursed to have to deal with the manflu, so right now I feel a little bad for him because of the pain I bet he felt. But you were SO RIGHT! OMG! haha I’m sure next time he won’t listen either and then you’ll be right again.
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Sadly, I’m often in the wrong for being right 😂
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lol! Isn’t that part of the marriage vows? I promise to be wrong for being right? It’s right after “in sickness and in health”, yeah?
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I think that was a hidden clause in e-man-cipation. Those suffragettes weren’t as smart as we thought 😂
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Omg you are just hilarious!! 🤣
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It’s TRUE!!
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She ain’t the boss of me!!!!
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…. yes dear!
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How else can I exercise my independence if I don’t do everything the exact opposite of what she tried to tell me to do?
One second, I’m about to eat some week old roadkill! That’ll show her!!!!
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That’ll show her how to be a Merry Widow 😂
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LOL!!!! But seriously, I’m my own boss!!!
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Oh you naive boy!! No man is his own boss! He’s ruled by a certain appendage that’s totally subservient to the woman of the house!
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Wallet? Smartphone? Are any of these the appendages you speak of?
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🙄😂
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😆 Nice try.
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Hahahahaha
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Manbola is very serious it does turn us into even greater Dumbassess. I don’t know why Darwin went across the world to check this theories out, should just watch us dumbassess.
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Ha ha totally brilliant. I have to keep shutting drawers and cupboards behind Suze who leaves them open and then criticizes me for doing so. The sad bit ls l do it because if l don’t it will be me who walks into it and not her!
By the way l have gifted you, yes you read that right gifted you the Mystery Blogger award because you absolutely deserve it, but panic not you don’t have to do anything about it either, as you deserve that freedom 🙂
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/01/13/mystery-blogger-award-6-7/
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Haha you cant make this shit up! I was hoping to see the picture of him sprawled out on the kitchen floor!!🤣🤣💜
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I did think about it but my phone was in the other room – and less importantly I think he’d have been a bit cross!
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All the more reason to do it! Haha🤪🤣🤣
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Every once in a while I ponder the “be invisible” or “fly” options. I’ll pick invisible, just to be in your house to observe the shite that goes on!
I do like ‘im’s food choice, even better with spun honey 🍯.
Do hope he feels better soon. And has no bruises of the butt or the ego!
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I love peanut butter with honey! I like rite crackers but they’re just to dry with peanut butter for me to like
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That’s part of where the honey comes in: both sweet AND moistening!! Let me know if you give it a try and what you think. I converted more than one college friend to them!
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“….Daisy the devil dog. Oh and Milo the farting beagle, Chunks the Destroyer Of Cat Food And Hell Boy, the scaredy cat….”
Between your menagerie of critters in the house along with the antics of “stroppy balls”……. your home sounds like a fun place!!! You should charge admission for people to visit… and extra if “stroppy balls” is doing swan dives in the kitchen!
Funny stuff!!! 😂😂😂😂 Thanks for sharing 🙂
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My family zoo.. if you think it’s bad now you should see it when the kids are home!
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hahaha! I can only imagine!
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Everyone in my house knows not to leave cabinet doors open or my head will start spinning and the pea soup shall fly. Aside from being dangerous, it’s just untidy.
Karma is always fun to watch😉😂💌
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Yup I agree!
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I may never recover (my breath). I’m laughing that hard. The imagery evoked by a person with a snotty hooter (nose) whacking his bean and then falling over another trap of his own making? Priceless!! Too bad you didn’t have a video camera handy….
Your beagle farts? I mean farting isn’t all that unusual for any creature, but does this beagle fart a LOT? My brother’s beagle has never passed gas in my vicinity (that I’m aware of), but Hunydog has done her best to produce a gas of mass destruction. Hard to imagine in a creature that small…
Thanks for the smiles!! Great start to the day!
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I think Milo must be wired wrong. He farts non stop. We’ve changed dog foods, given him meds from the vets.. Methane boy is unstoppable! At this point I think he has anal gills or something and farts to breath. Maybe he has lung bum?
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OMFG! 🤣🤣🤣
My aunt & uncle had a Boxer that could clear a room. And, the dog would always be startled by the noise coming out of her own butt. THEN, she would investigate her own butt, sniffing and, get up & move to get away from the smell. 🙄😄
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Boxers are HORRIFIC farters!! Rottweilers are even worse 🤮
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You are so cruel. He is sick, and not only does he have to prep his own snacks, he also gets laughed at for injuring himself. Such cruel world.
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I’m feeling grim too but I’ve still cooked and done laundry and shopped etc. obviously I’m not as close to deaths door 🙄
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You took the words out of my mouth.
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Projectile vomiting, snot flow & farting
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Just an average post from moi
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*SIGH* Stupid phone!
As I was saying…a farting Beagle… Fun House!
Did he ever explain WHY he wanted the door left open?
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He was just being cranky. He reverts to toddler when sick
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Probably shouldn’t laugh, but can’t help it! When you said “earlier this year” – did you mean 2019 (this year) or 2018 (last year)?
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Good point!! I didn’t think of that lol
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No disrespect for the hubby but you gave me the biggest of the chuckle,or better he did…….will he listen to you now?
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LOL he’s Male… obviously not!!
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They never do🙄
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