Howdy Doody Dinner..

~ the britchy one

Christmas has come and gone and we’re already half way through January but I’m not done with it! Oooh no! I haven’t had a chance yet to tell you about it. I had a lot of fun playing tricks on people but there was one where I got EVERYONE! It was glorious. I tried to set my phone to tape it but it didn’t work. I don’t know why, I can’t wait to get shot of this bloody Crapple WHY phone. It always lets me down.

I thought of this plan ten days before I executed it and I deserve recognition for that because you all know my impulse control is zilch. Nada. Non Existent!

My four month old grandson was here and as you know, babies don’t do much but eat and poop. He did go home having learned to blow raspberries and scream like a banshee for fun so I’m quite proud of my educational abilities too. I don’t think I’ll be asked to babysit again anytime soon either. They went out with friends one night so I had a lovely time texting pictures of Thumper playing with fireworks*, holding cans of beer and wine bottles, climbing the Christmas tree, holding bags of chips and chocolate bars.. apparently I’m irresponsible. I’m surprised anyone thought that was news!

Anyway, back to the prank. I decided I had to do a ‘gross everyone out’ prank again.

I got a clean, unused diaper of Thumpers and scrunched it up a few times so it didn’t look new. I poured a half pint of water into it too so it looked nice and full then I made up a packet of butterscotch and a packet of chocolate pudding and swirled a few stripes of the darker pudding through the lighter one. I used cook and serve pudding because the texture is better. For Brits, think blancmange instead of angel delight.

Then I dolloped a dessertspoons worth into the diaper and left it on the kitchen counter. You have to think ahead of you want it to be believable. Too much ‘poop’ and no ‘wee’ would have given the game away immediately. I heard Princess PITA coming in the back door with her hubby and ‘im indoors so I called Thmellyarthe and Fartichoke and everyone landed in the kitchen pretty much simultaneously. It took a minute for ‘im indoors to notice the diaper and with great disgust, he declared ‘Jesus H Christ, who left that on the counter?” Fartichoke looked and immediately started gagging whilst Thmellyarthe looked green. Princess PITA righteously pronounced I always put them in the bin and Hubzilla just looked stupid. It’s his best side. I turned around ‘to see what the fuss was about’ as you do. I looked, stuck my finger in, licked it and said “Definitely sweet potato”

Fartichoke made a dash for one bathroom, heaving all the way and Thmellyarthe sprinted to the other. Synchronized puking isn’t a skill in many households, it’s commonplace in ours.

The other three didn’t get sick but they were all heaving and disgusted. It was win win because no one wanted any of the other pudding either so I got the lot!

*it was a toy kaleidoscope that I taped a wick too – don’t panic!

The photo is Thumper asleep on me.

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

73 thoughts on “Howdy Doody Dinner..”

  3. LOL OMG!! Can you be the grandmother to my non existent children? I’ve been looking at baby names all day on Pinterest. Apparently the site is trying to tell me something…

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      3. I don’t even know how to pronounce that! One I saw today for a boy that I INSTANTLY fell in love with was Waverly – like OMG🥰

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I like that! I think I’d like it more for a girl though because it’s so pretty.
        I think I need more cats to name. I might even try not to call them Farty Stinkbutt and Sir Schitzalott this time..

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Oooo for a GIRL!!! I love boy names that work for girls like James or Wyatt (celebrity baby names).

        Hehe! Ooo cats! You could always get fish to name? I name all my brother’s fish. But they are all named Pancakes and one random one is Waffles. But they are all identical so I just stand in front of the tank going “hi pancakes! And pancakes! And pancakes! And….you are waffles!”

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I had a lovely fish tank years ago until the kids fed them chocolate biscuits and knackered the filter!
        I had James Pond, Goldfinger and Jaws, Jacques Cousteau and Eel- Laine And a host of others!

        Liked by 2 people

  19. Pingback: Howdy Doody Dinner.. — Bitchin’ in the Kitchen – A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!

Leave a comment