Further Adventures With My Ocular Testicles

~ the britchy one

Well after the MRI’s and MRA’s..

I saw the ocular testicle* neurologist again on Wednesday .

Turns out I do have an aneurysm my brainium. It’s only a little one though so we’re just going to ignore it like it isn’t there and check on it once a year unless it causes problems ( I’m thinking of calling it Dave… like every other annoying pain in the arse on the planet)

The neuro STILL hasn’t received all the imaging yet (WTF?!) so I’m hopeful there’s no more surprises to come. I thought I’d got an all clear but apparently, she’s only seen one image set out of the six. I’m pretty gobsmacked by that but I’m still absolutely certain there’s no other life forms living in my brainium.

I’ve got paralysed nerves to my eyeballs causing them to drop and give me (less than) 20/20 and some other weird eyeball shittery with the nerves and muscles.

I’ve got a funky irregular astigmatism that can’t be corrected with glasses only contacts.. and I’ve got Diplopia (thought that was a dinosaur) which can be corrected with prisms… that can put in glasses but not contacts. Guess which Britch is going to be wearing glasses AND contacts?! On an upnote this pretty much guarantees I won’t get HIV of the eyeballs. #Practisesafespecs people.

Then we get to the Wingardium Leviosa bit. Well it sounds Harry Potterish to me! I have also (cos I’m greedy obviously) got Myasthenia Gravis. Makes you want to ‘swish and flick’ doesnt it?! Quidditch anyone?

Apparently the meds I’m going to have to take for that can cause explosive diarrhea amongst other things… There’s a plus side to this. No bugger can EVER say I’m full of it again! Nuh uh!! Not me!

The glasses and contacts are both a ‘for now’ solution. Eventually I’ll ‘need’ eyeball surgery but hopefully not for 3-5 years. I did ask if I could have it now and get it over with but if my ocular testicles deteriorate further I’d only have to be sawed up again so stuff that idea.

Now might be a good time to buy shares in toilet roll companies!!

*Ocular Testicles =eyeballs. It’s the technical term -or should be!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

97 thoughts on “Further Adventures With My Ocular Testicles”

    1. That’s kind of exactly how I am seeing stuff! It goes in and out, the more I try to look at something the less I see. I’m kind of doing glancing fly bys at everything or just shutting one eye to look!

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  6. Sheesh, trust you to go for a royal hat trick twice!

    Sure l could send you hugs, prayers, thoughts but that wouldn’t be me – so all l can say is rather you than me!

    Explosive poop is probably the worst of the lot, please make sure you are sitting down and try not to bend over too many times!

    As l said it’s good to see you back 🙂

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  7. Pingback: Further Adventures With My Ocular Testicles — Bitchin’ in the Kitchen – A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!

    1. No absolutely not. I’ll just find a work around. Hopefully once meds take effect my vision will stabilise enough for the prism correction. Once I have the glasses and contacts I’m hoping it will knock out the migraines but they’re looking at new meds/devices to help with that too so fingers crossed I’ll be back to full steam ahead soon!

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  9. So anybody in your household who has not yet learnt to replace toilet rolls when they take the last sheets, is in even more serious trouble from now on!

    Oh Britchy – I do feel for you. I will send you double hugs as Rory doesn’t do hugs ❤

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  13. Good Lord that picture of Mr. Bean is going to give me nightmares! I’m sorry you’re finding all these things wrong! 😦 Positive vibes for you!

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  16. I know I shouldn’t “LOL!” but, you make this all sound hilarious, especially with all the cartoons.
    My mother had to wear contacts and glasses at the same time until she had surgery on her “Ocular Testicles” – The worse part of that, was that it was a quick fix, and had only lasted 6-7 years before she had to go back to glasses and contacts all over again.
    I certainly hope the doctor get’s the rest of the images soon, so yuo’re not crawling the walls of worry.
    Stay positive, Sweetie!!! 😊

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  19. Something only contacts can fix? That’s just weird. Aren’t glasses and contacts supposed to be one and the same?

    Is your hubby worried that once the meds kick in and you’ll be able to see better, you’ll realize that he’s not all that you thought he was?

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    1. It’s the irregular astigmatism. Glasses won’t correct it because light will still hit the eyeballs from many directions as glasses are further away. A contact lens for irregular astigmatism effectively turns the lens into a ‘new’ cornea and makes light enter the eye in a way that specs can’t.
      Because I need prisms too I have to have glasses and lenses just because of the weird ass combo!

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    3. Glasses and eye contacts are two separate things.
      A contact lens, or simply contact, is a thin lens placed directly on the surface of the eye.
      A pair of lenses set in a frame resting on the nose and ears, used to correct or assist defective eyesight.

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  20. I realize it is extremely rude but I did giggle. You have such a flare for making it feel like you are sitting right next to me telling me this. I am sorry you have to go through this. Are you wearing multifaceted contacts than? 🙂

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  21. Jeees, I’m so sorry, I wish it were better news and that Dave didn’t exist in your noggin. It’s kind of reassuring that they think it’s still enough to leave and just monitor. Are you comfortable with that? Been a while for the near to not have the imaging; when’re you hoping to see her again?

    As for all the eyeball stuff, couldn’t you just have one problem? Noooo, you have to be greedy and have several. Glasses and contacts.. that’s a new one.

    That Bean image gives me a headache so And it’s creepy.

    With the myasthenia gravis, do you have many other related symptoms of muscle weakness? At least the med-induced explosive diarrhoea will have you toning up your bum muscles!

    xx

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  22. Good gracious!!!! And I thought my watery eyes were annoying.
    May you ‘swish and flick’ this right out of the way!!! Although, perhaps you will need to swipe and flush instead? No matter what, this is a definite YIKES!!! xoxoxoxo

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  23. I was afraid there was some kind of alien being in your skull. Are there to be meds to ease off the aneurism, like they do with PEs & DVTs?

    Did they check your Thymus gland? M. Gravis is related to Thymus issues.

    Have you ever practiced yoga?

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    1. I haven’t been given anything for the aneurysm – maybe because I have pretty low blood pressure anyway. It’s usually about 90/50 and gets even lower if I’m sat down a while.
      I don’t know about the thymus – they could have. Honestly, I’ve had so much information chucked at me I can’t remember half of it.
      I haven’t tried yoga. I’m not sure my joints are up to that!

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  24. How you maintain your wicked wit in the midst of so much medical mischief is beyond me. You make it feel like simple mischief, but, eek! it all sounds pretty unsettling.

    I do hope you’re taking care of yourself and feeling cared for by family and friends.

    Here’s to the next round of medical reports being positive.

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  28. Wow. I’d see if I could return those eyes for a refund. Seriously, I hope that all their solutions will get rid of the headaches and double vision.

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  29. Sending you healing energy! One of our friends has had Myasthenia Gravis and has written about how difficult it is and the effects of all the meds they have had to take over the years. More power to you! I hope you can find the best solutions for your health whether with a doctor or alternatively! 💞 Kei

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  30. I found your blog in the strangest way… some one ‘fake’ followed me then I saw your comment in his posts about him ‘fake’ liking your posts. So I came straight over. Glad I did! I love your writing. OMG we have too much in common… uhg. Sending good thoughts your way very sad to nod, salute and bow to you on more than one thing.

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    1. Gotta love fakes finding me new friends lol
      Welcome to the – words fail me! There’s only so much profanity in the world and it takes waaay more than we’ve got to describe my blog!!

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      3. John Williams is one of the greatest composers ever in my opinion, certainly of the 20/21 century. There aren’t many of us if any who’s lives aren’t shaped around his music. The way he captures, sets and dominates the story is incredible. You can’t even THINK the Star Wars title without hearing the theme music and honestly, it’s the same for all his other music too

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