A Confession, A Resolution And NO Eff Words … But There’s Shit. Definitely Shit!!

~ the britchy one

The Confession first .

I’ve started to hate blogging. ‘I must write a blog post’ has landed right up there with ‘I must unclog the toilet, balance the checkbook and bath the cat’ (none of which I ever do but you get the picture – I don’t want to do them so I don’t!)

Yes I said it. I don’t want to blog anymore. The joy had gone. Tedium and ennui are settled comfortably in its place and the worst of it is – it’s all my own fault.

I didn’t start blogging with the intention of monetizing my blog. I still have zero intention of EVER going down that road.My blog is personal and it was supposed to be primarily for MY entertainment. A little break from the daily grind.

Somewhere along the way that got lost. I got caught up in the riptide of ‘you need an instagram/twitter/Facebook page for your blog’ ‘You need to get followers’ ‘You need to understand SEO’

Newsflash.

I still don’t know what that shit is. Bigger Newsflash.

I don’t give a flying shit either.

Followers. I’m not exactly sure how many followers I have. It’s very disproportionate to how many comment though so frankly, it’s irrelevant. I’m blogging because I have stuff I want to say. It’s like singing in the shower, it’s for me alone. If others like my crap that’s pure gold for me but if they don’t, that’s fine. I never expected to have anyone except my friends reading it anyway.

I got caught up in the inane crappery of ‘awards’. Awards! Let’s call them what they really are. Chain letters. Junk mail. Shit.

They’re right up there with ‘every time you don’t share this, Mark Zuckerberg kills a kitten’ and ‘like this to cure cancer’

Those chain mail Awards aren’t why I wanted to blog. They’re worthless and I’ve looked at the disparity between the ‘likes’ and views – no one reads them and if you link to other blogs, no one follows the links! Stats don’t lie!

They really sucked a lot of my joy out of blogging and there’s no one to blame for that but me. There’s a Facebook/reality tv element of superficiality appearing here and I really don’t like that, I read mostly from the reader so it’s shocking how many posts I scroll right past each day.

I am by nature, a people pleaser. I’m wholly responsible for where I’m at right now because I can’t/won’t say no. Do you know what the biggest killer of happiness is? Trying to continuously please others at your own expense. I love making other people happy but if I’m making myself unhappy in the process then things need rethinking.

If I’m to carry on blogging things have to change. I’ve got so much joy out of it in the past that I want to at least try.

I’ve made a lot of friends here at WordPress. People I’ve truly come to value and think about outside of online time. That’s something I didn’t expect from blogging and I’m truly grateful for.

That brings me neatly to

The Resolution.

I will post when I want with no guilt if it’s not daily. My life is crazy at the moment.

No matter how much I love your blog, I’m not reading posts I am not interested in.

I’m not participating in any award malarkey. Other fun stuff like Halloween story competitions and finish the story things don’t count as awards. I mean the ‘answer these questions and tag 20 bloggers’ shittery. I actually do like the story things (just not the word limit ones)

I’ve had so many ideas for posts and funny stories but I’ve felt too ‘meh’ to be bothered. If I think of an idea, I’m going to make a quick note and go back and finish it WHEN I HAVE TIME! I’m not pressuring myself. That takes the fun out.

So that concludes my rant. I think it sounds very arrogant and judgemental reading it back to myself but if I try to be more tactful then I’m not being honest about what I’m feeling.

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

53 thoughts on “A Confession, A Resolution And NO Eff Words … But There’s Shit. Definitely Shit!!”

  3. It does not sound arrogant and judgmental to me. However, it did sound as if you were stressed. That’s why I would like to sit you down and tell you take a few deep breaths. If I have to, I will tie you to that chair and give ‘imdoors the possibility to torture you.

    Is it possible you feel that way because you were gone for so long? It is weird to get back in the saddle. I’m hoping your love for blogging will return soon enough.

    Life does get in the way. It can definitely make us feel miserable. That’s when nonessential stuff like blogging (*gasps*) suffers. However, I realized that blogging is a sort of a refuge for me. You know those adult color books and other stuff that is supposed to take your mind off things? That’s what blogging is to me. Well, at least most of the time.

    But if you don’t care about SEO, social media and followers, why do you seem so upset about the pressure that is put on them? Did something happen recently?

    Anything specific prompted this?

    You need to do what feels good to you. Obviously. I’m glad to hear that you will try to make this work. I hope it does. Keep us posted and let me know if I can help somehow.

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    1. No, I don’t care about all that stuff – that was what I realised! I was swimming with the current in the wrong direction. I’m happy in my small pond so I was trying to explain that I realised I was off my rocker even considering all that stuff when it wasn’t going to do anything for me at all. I
      WAS stressed for sure but taking a step back and realising that I’m the one putting pressure on myself was eye opening. I don’t HAVE to get everything packed this week. I don’t HAVE to write, I don’t have to get out of my pjs – wait I do have to do that one, work is kinda strict!
      Sometimes it’s a big thing to realise ‘hey, don’t do this to yourself’

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  4. I get what you’re saying. I hope you are able to find a balance that works.
    I also steer clear of the chain letter awards, although I am honoured when I get nominated.
    I never started to hate blogging and I think that was because I had the time to put into it, but now it has become a source of guilt because I’ve neglected the rest of my life. So I’m stopping cold turkey.
    It’s been fun reading your blog. Love your sense of humour. Hope it all works out for you.
    Peace.

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  5. If blogging has ceased to be enjoyable and is ranking down there with toilet cleaning? It’s time to take a break. I don’t blog for anyone but myself. I don’t monetize, I don’t link to other social media… I just do me. And you need to do you. Blogging should be fun, when it becomes a chore? I’m gone.

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  6. Go back to basics. It’s irreverent to ignore Instagram, Facebook & Twitter but, oh! You’re irreverent!!! I only post when I’ve got something to post but I love my Friday and Saturday posts. Don’t stop…I love reading your stuff. I NEVER just give you a “like” without reading (which is okay to do when you have no interest!). You’re interesting. And funny. And did I say relevant?

    Forget all that other stuff and just post what you want, when you want. I’ll be here waiting impatiently.

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  8. I understand where you are coming from and going to, as well.
    I’ve actually been “awarded” a few times since I started – and I’m not here for that either. I’m also not on WordPress for monetary reasons – that’s why my site is still the free kind. Sure, I don’t get the perks… I don’t care.
    At the end of the day, I sleep well without all the nonsense.

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  9. I’ve been blogging over 7 years now s was and I agree wholeheartedly. “Awards” are BS and just irritating. Only blogging when I have time/feel like it. Not reading any poetry blogs, or things that repulse me. I sometimes get to the end of reading a post and think that it would have been better for them to have skipped writing rather than written something so utterly uninspired. You’ve got a lot going on. The pressure to be funny when real life is hard would make anyone unplug the computer. It’s ok. Take a rest. Get your groove back.

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  11. Sounds like you’ve evaluated what is/isn’t working for you regarding blogging. Absolutely just do it for fun and your own pleasure. I, for one, will enjoy reading whatever you find time to write, because it makes me smile and laugh.

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  12. I absolutely appreciate your honesty. I get those awards too and I understand that they don’t count for anything… however for me they get me out of my own head but I understand what you’re saying completely and I appreciate your honesty! It’s just one of the many reasons that I continue to come to your blog! Preach it!

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  13. The first cardinal rule of blogging, is “Write For Yourself First” – Your terms, no one elses.
    Your pace, your time, and respect how you feel. Go with your gut.
    To be honest… Yes, The award thing is a bit much and I will soon be adding to my site, “Award Free Zone” – Too time consuming and it takes away from my writing and reading. I’d personally rather show respect towards another bloggers writing than sit for nearly an hour +, andswering mundane questions about my life. My life coes through me writing.
    Whatever you choose to do… Do it for yourself, and you only.💗

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  14. I’m right there with you. It’s hard to balance blogging sometimes, and I have had to step back from it myself. I have also stopped participating in the awards, because as you said, it is crap, and nobody reads them! We adore you, Britchy!! ❤ Blogging should be fun.

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  15. Wow, I would much rather blog than clean my toilet, but then I’ve not been as busy as you’ve been. I enjoy it, but don’t do it often and only when highly motivated (or trying to avoid cleaning the toilet – actually I pay someone for that because life is too short…..) Please take a break if you need one. Hey, you are moving right!? I’ll look forward to the day when things settle down and you once again tap on the keyboard about much you love cottage cheese (!), pulling pranks on your son-in-law, or how well you document your observations of life. Even if you don’t, this blog is quite the legacy. Cheers my friend! Tracey

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  16. I only write when I’ve got something to say, read what my pals write and skip days without guilt.

    It shouldn’t be a chore. I’ve had to step away completely at times, that’s okay too.

    I selfishly hope you dont give up completely because I love your humor and your take on things.

    Hugs & pastries!💌

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  17. Good resolution. If you’re not enjoying it, don’t do it: integrity. The pressure to start with one type of social media and get sucked into the rest seems immense – as one that blogs primarily for enjoyment and sense of community also and doesn’t tweet, do Facebook, Instagram, etc., totally sympathise. Having said that, hoping you’ll get the urge again…

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  19. I have deliberately skipped everyone else’s comments, so even if I repeat, it won’t matter to me.

    I’m sorry you got to the point that you don’t want to blog but I am very happy that you’ve realized all those points about blogging for one’s self. Burnout is real and it happens to so many bloggers. Hopefully you’ll recover and be able to get back in the swing of things, but if not, hey, it’s just a hobby. And hobbies come and go 🙂

    Personally, I WISH Zuckerburg killed kittens. Could you imagine that going viral? I’d laugh my head off so hard.

    As for followers, a good reality check is to go through all the people who follow you and unsubscribe all the spam accounts, those who haven’t been active in (insert your favorite time frame (mine happens to be about 6 months)). I regularly cull my list (well, semi-regularly) and keep my numbers around 300. So a 10% interaction is great as far as I’m concerned. And 3% comment interaction is my other goal. So if I get 30 likes on a post and 9’ish comments, I’m darned pleased. I don’t expect that, but I’m happy when/if it happens. I don’t know if any of that helps, or hinders. You have to figure out what works for you, since you’re an individual and not a Clone of Bookstooge 😀

    Whatever you end up doing, good luck!

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  20. Hey Britchy, good on you! TBH, I wondered how the hell you got so caught up in all the BS. You, who has such a full on life and adventures to keep up with. I started blogging for the very same reasons, and started to wonder when all the pressure to have all that other social media shit to link to surrounded me. Earlier in the year I realised how intrusive FB was in my already stressful life, so relegated that to my PC only. I have flatly refused to become a Twit or Instant-weight-increaser, or any of the other shite. Yes, I saw how WordPress started to demand more of my life than I can afford to give. I have refused to upgrade my site, as I’m happy being a plodder-blogger. I don’t know if anyone reads it, and I’m sure not going to swallow any of the nastiness that surfaced from some random dick, who hid behind a single name with no obvious blogging presence of his/her own, the other month.
    I do hit on and read any blog of yours, when it pops up these days, as I know you have something to say that I’ll enjoy reading. There’s only one or two others that I do likewise, but I relate to you completely. Stay with me, as I need your kind of sanity and reality in my life! Hugs from Downunder. X

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  23. I think you’ve said what all of us have probably thought at one time or another. I know I have thought many of the same things! If you’re not monetizing your blog, just do what makes you happy and who cares what everyone else thinks!

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  24. All bloggers and their blogs evolve. I abandoned my blog for four years before returning. I shut down my first blog. Sometimes, things just don’t work and you need to shift gears. Sometimes life gets in the way and something has to give.

    Few people get paid to blog. People take breathers all the time or, they slow their posts down. No shame in that. Unless there is a TOS violation, blogs stay up. I read bloggers that post once a month. I just get the notifications.

    I never did like the awards business and a large portion of the challenges were annoying. I’ve seen many bloggers that, all they post are challenges from other bloggers. That is WAY too close to FB nonsense for my taste.

    You’ve got your hands full right now. Keep calm and carry on. *hugs*

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  25. I think I’m with you on this. I wasn’t burnt out after my Blogmas fun (haha, I think) yet the first week in January I took a week off – and really enjoyed it! Hence the really long break.

    I’d stopped participating in awards, as it dawned on me that they were not the reason I was blogging and I also thought they had become a little cringeworthy. I wanted to share histories and they did not meet my chosen theme.

    You do get caught up in the process – posting, views and stats (I’m still waiting for my blog to be read in Greenland! If anybody has a reader in Greenland I take it all back and I will read your blog religiously 😉 ).

    And if you are not in any competition with others, I found I was in competition with myself, each month aiming to beat my previous month’s figures. The break was hugely therapeutic and broke the cycle of stat reading! I’m still not up to speed but at the moment my work course takes a huge chunk of time and that has to be my priority. I barely read other blogs at the moment but I really must, even if I only dive in once a week – or why should I expect people to read mine?

    Good luck with the family stuff and the move x

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  27. Hay Britchy,
    I know what it’s like to get burn out I’ve been doing blogging for 2 years now and I did social chatting on private LGBT+ websites for 5 years before that so I’ve learned what works for me and when to take a break and I know moving can be qwit stressful as well so give your self a break and blog when you feel like it.

    Take care dear and try to relax some. 🌹

    ❤️✌️
    BY FOR NOW

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  28. This was super refreshing to read. Especially about the awards. I’ve found once you ignore enough Super Happy Sunshine Mystery Liebster Muffin Kitten Creative Kind Neat-O Blogger awards, people get the hint and stop bugging you with them.

    I felt everything you felt in April earlier this year, so I decided to take the summer off. I think that I wrote two posts between May and early September. I got someone else to write a couple guest posts, but I was just burnt out. The stats fell to almost nothing, but who cares? I lost as much money as I’d made…nothing. Now, after that break, I’m turning out quality posts (something I probably haven’t done since 2018) daily. I never thought I’d blog at this speed, but it was because I put it on a shelf and only came back to it when I was ready.

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  29. I get tired of the awards too and I don’t know how everyone keeps up with each other. I never did Facebook, twitter and even pintrest which a lot of my family members just don’t get. I have tried Instagram but even that is a waste of time, at least to me. For now blogging is a fun way to interact with others. When I start feeling burn out I will definitely have to take a break. I always enjoy reading your post, you make us all laugh. Have a fun weekend and have tons of fun shopping for a home.

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  30. Hey you 🙂

    I love it when you hide your emotions like this ….

    Blog when you want to blog and don’t feel pressured to do what you think others want you to do … we have all fallen victim to that – but the one thing that is coming through here is that you are pissed off with yourself for being honest – well – you need to stop clusterfucking your head up with that shit girl.

    We can all offer you advice about what you could do, it comes down to you, it is always down to you, or me, or him or her, or them as in the individual – it’s to do with all the individuals – you are individual so just be you.

    Sure you write for yourself first and foremost, we all do, but we also do write for others to read and that is a fact – however you handle that is down to you. So if you want to do one post a day, one post a week or one post a month is no one’s business apart from yours the same would apply to you doing twenty posts a day – we can all make blogging easy or hard for ourselves it’s our choice how we make it – every single blogger – has likes and preferences for different aspects of blogging and the one thing that stands out always is this – DO WHAT YOU WANT as in YOU, not me, them or the collective US, just you.

    i don’t fuck about with other platforms socially so l don’t give three hoots of a monkeys willy about them, l certainly don’t disagree with the comments about awards – l changed them to suit my way – and that’s also what you must remember – do things your way – do things the Britchy way – your audience / readership don’t care what you do as long as you are you and having fun being you.

    I know you’re not going, l have watched your blog since l first found you, have watched your blog when you have been busy in life, been ill, been with family – l don’t cry and sob in the corner when you are not active – because in recent weeks/months with work commitments, house sales or not and everything else – l knew life was more important to you – so don’t apologise for being human. Blog when and how you want, it’s your space – you pay for it, not me or us 🙂

    Just be you 🙂

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  31. This is the moodiest mood that has ever mooded. I’ve been feeling the same way. I have tons of ideas for what to write but I just have been so overwhelmed and stressed about life that I haven’t been able to do it. Thankfully, my three followers know and understand when I’m busy and that I update when I can. I’ve learned to stop feeling obligated to anyone when it comes to my social media. I’m not doing any of this for attention, I’m doing it for me. If someone starts paying me a living wage to keep up with all of this then by all means, I’ll gladly churn out the good stuff as often as possible. Until then, this is a hobby not a life.
    That is my rant.
    I always enjoy your musings whenever I can get them.
    And I agree that the awards stuff is utter crap and I refuse to participate. Just follow my blog if you like it, no need to try and get me to pimp yours. If I like it, I’ll follow. Otherwise- go away.
    Now my rant is over… for now.

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  32. Affirmative, Britchy 🖖
    I find it most puzzling that bloggers
    feel they need to explain why, even
    apologise, for taking a short break
    from posting …
    “Yes, my entire family was killed
    in a plane crash. But I’ll be back
    on deck in a flash.”
    🤔 👌 😎

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  33. I’d like to *sad face* this, Britchy, but to be completely honest with you…I felt every word as though I’d written it myself. I’m not posting really. It’s dwindled to a near stop over the last few months. It’s a very similar feeling of feeling pressure to post something everyday to posting just ANYTHING everyday and no longer liking anything I was posting and no longer putting anything of myself into it.
    I loved it once and love the friends I’ve made still. But realistically, out of over a thousand followers, the friends I adore are but a handful. Unless its something interesting, I’m not reading others posts either except for those handful who I have true affection for.
    I want to love it again, I do, but it will have to be, like you, on my own terms…writing for me.
    I love you my friend, you make me laugh, are so like me like a “Sista from another mista”, you make me think, have made me cry…
    and will be right here, happy to hear from you whenever you are ready. Hugs💕

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    1. You’re one of my absolute favorite bloggers too. There’s a handful that I check in on as often as I can. The last few weeks have been manic but I’m hoping that from here on out gets a little calmer… in spite of closing on a house, then going house hunting, thanksgiving, Christmas, packing, my usual shittery.. what am I even thinking ‘calmer’?! Lol

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      1. Hahaha I feel your pain! Lol We did exactly the same thing when we moved here. We came here in an RV packed absolutely to full with our 2 great danes and mini schnauzer, where while house hunting, experienced a double murder and 2 attempted murders In the RV park we were staying. Could not find a house fast enough!
        Closed 2 days before Thanksgiving but all our belongings were in storage in another state! Had to find a moving company and they wouldn’t deliver our furniture until just before christmas! Lived on lawn furniture until then and it felt like camping! Lol. It was absolute chaos!
        Wishing you well with lots of luck, the perfect home and that you survive it without a breakdown and the Mr without scars! 🤗🤣

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  34. I totally got you. In the beginning I was followers obsessed too and started to be stressed out by the duty of blogging…..now I accept that there is only a certain amount of tasks I can fit in my day and so…..I don’t blog and read post as regularly as I used to but since my days are only of 24 hours and my brain needs to stay sane this is it.

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  35. Laughing I read this post and thought hmm that says exactly how I feel.
    I love writing but I do it just for me.
    For my sanity like writing to a friend I can say exactly what I want how I want.
    If people don’t like it, don’t read it.
    Thanks for making me smile .

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  36. Found this through the word ennui, which to be fair, is one of the best words available for free. Really liked the post and that you are making changes to bring the joy back. I’ve quit and started blogging on a whole bunch of platforms and this will long continue. As long as it is useful to my sanity, I’ll stick with it, and of the “fuck-its” creep back, I’ll bail and go back to it possibly never.
    Thanks for the read. Also, I believe most, if not all words are free and without subscription so ignore the bit I said earlier.

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    1. There are a lot of words I dispense freely. Some too frequently, some to my shame are regularly accompanied by off!
      I do enjoy blogging when I’m not pressuring myself. It’s been a very intense few months but the end is in sight and I’m enjoying thinking up ideas to post again even when it takes time to get to them

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  37. I get it, though for me, I’m feeling super guilty that I’m way backed up reading posts from bloggers I enjoy reading. The past couple of months have been stupid busy and something had to give—that was reading other blogs. I don’t even know if the bloggers have noticed my absence, but I feel like I’m not holding up my end of the bargain. The things we do to ourselves…

    That said, you’ve got to do what’s best for you. No need for any explanation. If/when you post, I’ll still read ‘em…potentially belatedly, but you’re definitely on my read list. And I’m not keeping tabs…

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