Life’s a joke!!

~ the britchy one

When plotting new tricks in the kitchen,

I ponder the things that I’m rich in.

I have friends who share giggles, Whilst reading my squiggles

Of my pranks and the reasons I’m bitchin’

Today’s prompt from Ben Huberman over at Discover is ‘joke’. Hey Ben, I’ve got a prompt for you for tomorrow. Community Pool! A girls got to try! Repeatedly it seems *rolls eyes, falls off sofa*

If you read pretty much any of my posts you’ll know, I can’t even behave on my own. Even when in hospital with iv’s in both my arms and feet and severe tetany I spent an hour with my hands clawed moving them so one finger was extended – I wanted to flip off a doctor I hated and I did! Ole did me a favor though because it was my mission to prove him wrong. Me being here bitchin’ today is exactly that.

I was the same at school. The nuns despaired of me and the reason I was able to take my English O level at 14 and my A level at 15 instead of 16 and 18 is a direct result of the endless detentions I had. They used to give me old English O level papers to do in detention, I secretly loved them! Haha, take that Sister Brigid you old hag! I took far too much delight in telling her that when I grew up I was going to be a Protestant, she took far too much delight in sneaking around. Loathsome old besom ugh.

We had a really long corridor up on the dormitories floor with a highly polished parquet floor. We used to love running like the clappers, throwing our eiderdowns on the floor and jumping on and sliding as far as we could. Human curling if you will – eh!

I was running with a blood curdling yell one night just as Sister Brigid appeared in her black and white glory like a vampire penguin. I was about twelve at the time and I remember thinking ‘soddit’ and completing my slide regardless. I came to a stop right by her wrinkled 900 denier American tan stockings and looking up, saluting and saying ‘Thar she blows”

No I do not know what possessed me or where that came from but you’d think she’d at least be impressed it was a literary reference. All 19 of us, my entire class, spent the test of the night sat at our desks in a cold classroom. How that was supposed to make us see the error of our sinful ways I’ll never know!

I’m kind of stymied at the moment. I’m too far from everyone to be able to prank them… sorta! I did get ‘im indoors with that google animal thing! I sent him a picture of me petting a ‘cat’. He thought I got another cat and flipped his lid! Good job I didn’t send him a shark in the bath huh?!

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

34 thoughts on “Life’s a joke!!”

      2. I have big problems with malabsorption. I had a severe wallop of pneumonia a few years ago. I ended up having 5 ten day courses of antibiotics back to back. Eventually killed off the pneumonia but destroyed the lining of my stomach in the process. I stopped absorbing ANYTHING and ended up in hospital for about three months being tube fed and having continual ivs of everything. Potassium, calcium, magnesium.. even copper! I was so weak I couldn’t get up by myself. I had iv’s in each foot and each arm and the tube in my chest for ‘food’ but I managed to work the bed controls so I could get a nurse to help me up and then I could go to the loo by myself and get back into bed by myself! I’m very stubborn. I wasn’t using a bedpan ever!
        I still get reoccurring bouts but hey ho. I’m here to britch about it!

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