I’ve noticed a lot of us are in a bit of a funk at the moment. Frankly, I’m not surprised. Mother Nature is being a bit of a grotbag at the moment and it feels like Spring/Summer will NEVER get here.
What we need are some coping therapies. Happy thoughts and moments that will stop us contemplating choking the snot out of the next person that really deserves it. (Yes that does mean YOU. Bearded Wonder looking at mouthwash in Aisle Seven. If you clear your throat like that again I’m going to give you the heimlich with an axe)
I’m up to here with anything that involves removal of clothes. I am not wearing less than three pairs of drawers, tights, leggings and jeans until the thermostat says it’s 75F or above. Hell, my cardi isn’t coming off until it hits 80F!
No Gym, No Yoga, No Running (whatever that is)
We need happy. We need gentle exercise. We need Choga!!
“Choga?” I hear you say “Never heard of it” Well my friend that’s not surprising since I just made it up. Demand creates Supply or something like that. Anyway, if Jane Fonda and all those other skinny bitches can have their own exercise regimes well, so can I!
Choga is the ancient (fifteen minutes old) art of combining contemplation and stretching with a vegetable based diet.
You will need to be wearing comfy clothes, pj’s are ideal.
You will need some additional materials but if you read through the program you’ll be ready to make the necessary purchases. Your happiness and fulfillment are only a couple of paragraphs away!
First assume the “RECLINE” pose. Preferably on a sofa but a La-Z-Boy will do.
Open the media of your choice. TV, book, music – the aim is hedonism!
Once your media is established we can move to phase two.
Open your family size bar of chocolate. (Yes I know I said vegetable based. Chocolate comes from cocoa beans. Beans are counted as vegetables. It’s called working with what you have!)
If you are an advanced practitioner you may find a bar with nuts as well is beneficial due to the extra serotonin from nuts. (NO Amelia. NOT the hairy kind!)
Commence the downward Chog. This involves tilting your head and lowering a big chunk of chocolate rapidly into your mouth. Don’t forget to masticate (AMELIA NOOOOOOO!!!)
Repeat this exercise as many times as possible. Dedicated practitioners find they can exceed one family size bar and progress to a second. Please don’t expect those kind of results on your first session. Definitely something to aspire to though!
Rehydration is a very important part of any exercise regime. Chardonnay or Merlot work well in conjunction with Choga. As do Rum Runners. I’m particularly fond of these as they’re an exercise in themselves (that runner bit has to count obviously)
Once your session is over you will need to replace those calories you have burned.
A gentle amble to the fridge door for take out menus provides both dinner and gentle wind down exercise after your strenuous afternoon. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hope this helps remove the winter blues 😊