A Murder is Announced

Agatha Christie had all the best titles, I really was addicted to them growing up (explains a lot…) I still am to be honest!

For various reasons I’ve spent today mentally planning my ex’s funeral.

He’s not dead and to the best of my knowledge (sadly) he’s not going to shuffle off this mortal coil anytime soon – but dreaming is free!

Its like planning spending a lottery win, there is something just so pleasing about trying to decide between a discreet Chanel style little black dress or a Schiaparelli pink number with fuck me shoes!

Champagne. It’ll be Krug of course. Nothing but the best for joyous occasions. No Bolly to send off the wally, but then again, maybe Korbel to toast him in hell?

Tough decisions as you can see.

In comparison, food is easy and cheap. As was he in life. If I wanted to memorialise him in food, well, it’d have to be shit.

I believe that we should celebrate his future not his past though so it’ll be devilled eggs, devils food cake, lobster fra diavolo, devils on horseback … you get the idea!!

Of course we need music to send him off with too and honestly, this was where I had the most fun.

Songs For A Dead Dave

The Living Years – Mike & The Mechanics

Bury My Body – The Animals

Another One Bites The Dust – Queen

Die Another Day – Madonna

End Of the Road – Boys To Men

Hospital Food – David Gray

If Tomorrow Never Comes – Ronan Keating

Crash and Burn – Savage Garden

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes – The Platters

Wake me up before you go go – Wham

Died In Your Arms Tonight – Cutting Crew

Praying for Time – George Michael

Prayer for The Dying – Seal

Dead End Street – The Kinks

Dead On Arrival – Fall Out Boy

Just Like A Pill- Pink

The Drugs Don’t Work – The Verve

Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Speed Me Towards Death – Rob Dougan

Living in a Box – Living in a Box

Jump- Van Halen

View From A Bridge – Kim Wilde

Spirit In The Sky – Doctor and The Medics

Accidents Will Happen – Elvis Costello

Road to Hell – Chris Rea

Celebrate – Kool and the Gang

Going Underground – the Jam

Burning Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash

Cold as Ice – Foreigner

Bat Out of Hell – Meatloaf

Let the Bodies Hit The Floor – Drowning Pool

Ashes to Ashes – David Bowie

Push The Little Daisies – We’en

Die With Your Boots On – Iron Maiden

Copyright © 2018 The Britchy One, Bitchininthekitchen – All rights reserved

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