The Confession first .
I’ve started to hate blogging. ‘I must write a blog post’ has landed right up there with ‘I must unclog the toilet, balance the checkbook and bath the cat’ (none of which I ever do but you get the picture – I don’t want to do them so I don’t!)
Yes I said it. I don’t want to blog anymore. The joy had gone. Tedium and ennui are settled comfortably in its place and the worst of it is – it’s all my own fault.
I didn’t start blogging with the intention of monetizing my blog. I still have zero intention of EVER going down that road.My blog is personal and it was supposed to be primarily for MY entertainment. A little break from the daily grind.
Somewhere along the way that got lost. I got caught up in the riptide of ‘you need an instagram/twitter/Facebook page for your blog’ ‘You need to get followers’ ‘You need to understand SEO’
I still don’t know what that shit is. Bigger Newsflash.
I don’t give a flying shit either.
Followers. I’m not exactly sure how many followers I have. It’s very disproportionate to how many comment though so frankly, it’s irrelevant. I’m blogging because I have stuff I want to say. It’s like singing in the shower, it’s for me alone. If others like my crap that’s pure gold for me but if they don’t, that’s fine. I never expected to have anyone except my friends reading it anyway.
I got caught up in the inane crappery of ‘awards’. Awards! Let’s call them what they really are. Chain letters. Junk mail. Shit.
They’re right up there with ‘every time you don’t share this, Mark Zuckerberg kills a kitten’ and ‘like this to cure cancer’
Those chain mail Awards aren’t why I wanted to blog. They’re worthless and I’ve looked at the disparity between the ‘likes’ and views – no one reads them and if you link to other blogs, no one follows the links! Stats don’t lie!
They really sucked a lot of my joy out of blogging and there’s no one to blame for that but me. There’s a Facebook/reality tv element of superficiality appearing here and I really don’t like that, I read mostly from the reader so it’s shocking how many posts I scroll right past each day.
I am by nature, a people pleaser. I’m wholly responsible for where I’m at right now because I can’t/won’t say no. Do you know what the biggest killer of happiness is? Trying to continuously please others at your own expense. I love making other people happy but if I’m making myself unhappy in the process then things need rethinking.
If I’m to carry on blogging things have to change. I’ve got so much joy out of it in the past that I want to at least try.
I’ve made a lot of friends here at WordPress. People I’ve truly come to value and think about outside of online time. That’s something I didn’t expect from blogging and I’m truly grateful for.
That brings me neatly to
I will post when I want with no guilt if it’s not daily. My life is crazy at the moment.
No matter how much I love your blog, I’m not reading posts I am not interested in.
I’m not participating in any award malarkey. Other fun stuff like Halloween story competitions and finish the story things don’t count as awards. I mean the ‘answer these questions and tag 20 bloggers’ shittery. I actually do like the story things (just not the word limit ones)
I’ve had so many ideas for posts and funny stories but I’ve felt too ‘meh’ to be bothered. If I think of an idea, I’m going to make a quick note and go back and finish it WHEN I HAVE TIME! I’m not pressuring myself. That takes the fun out.
So that concludes my rant. I think it sounds very arrogant and judgemental reading it back to myself but if I try to be more tactful then I’m not being honest about what I’m feeling.