Weird things I’ve rehomed ... or misappropriated if you believe in the police report fairy.. In my defence, it was justifiable retribution! Details will follow after I double check the statute of limitations and the fifth amendment. •The HT leads off a Ford tractor (Ireland) •Several car aerials (all from bastards) •Garden gnomes (postcards were … Continue reading Well – How Did THAT Happen?!
Never kiss frogs. They might turn into a handsome prince and who’s got time for that shit? Being married to a "Dave" means leaving this world the way you came into it.. Screaming and covered in someone else's blood... Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, Happen! Don't put a stupid look on my face and … Continue reading Saturday Thoughts…
Sooooo I went to Walmart yesterday. I thought it would be nice to buy some stationery (school supplies) for my nieces because they love that stuff. I can get them things here none of their friends have. It’s fun. I am not equipped for thinking OR Walmart. In spite of previous disgrace and mortification I … Continue reading Don’t Make Me Go To Walmart!!
We all try our best at parenting. Some times we get it right. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we feel like we got it right but later, way down the line we’ll, we realise.. maybe not. This is one such incident. I have a funny story from when my daughter was little. She was 5 or … Continue reading … That Time I Failed As A Parent..
After my Mother’s Day post I just wanted to finish my thoughts. My mum was a complicated woman. She lived a very black and white life when truthfully, life is just many shades of grey. She made life hard for herself and others but ultimately I think she hurt herself most of all. I have … Continue reading Give A Little, Get A Lot
Swearing or NOT Swearing - A Load Of Old Shit? I over heard a child swearing in Wegmans today. I really should thank Wegmans sometime. There's a large portion of my posts that exist solely because of interactions therein! Anyway. The little boy must've been about two. He was sitting in the cart while his … Continue reading Well, Son of A Beech…
....you know it's going to be one of those days when your daughter texts you a picture of a fella and you text back: How much did you drink? 1. He's too old for you 2. He's repulsive. 3. Check the sex offender registry because that right there is a pervert. ....and she replies "That's … Continue reading The Frog Prince?
Today is Mother's Day in the US. I'm sat by myself. One kid is in Georgia. One is in North Carolina and one is in bed. 'im indoors is across state prepping our other house for sale and I'm on the sofa with two fat cats, a farting beagle and a 10lb chupacapra who is … Continue reading Thinking Out Loud On Mother’s Day
Well after the MRI’s and MRA’s.. I saw the ocular testicle* neurologist again on Wednesday . Turns out I do have an aneurysm my brainium. It’s only a little one though so we’re just going to ignore it like it isn’t there and check on it once a year unless it causes problems ( I’m … Continue reading Further Adventures With My Ocular Testicles
I just heard from the eyeball neuro. No brain tumour but she needs to look at the aneurysm thing in greater detail. My thinking is if it doesn’t have a flashing neon sign saying ‘aneurysm this way’ - I ain’t concerned!! It showed up that I have a very deep seated sinus infection which she’s … Continue reading Update On My Low Hanging Balls..
I'm constantly thinking up little gems as 'im indoors calls them. When I remember I make a note and when I have enough I inflict them on you. You're welcome. I thought I'd found a lump in each of my breasts. Turns out it was just my knees. There is a reason it's called 'girls … Continue reading More Of My Shittery..
Yesterday I had my MRI’s and MRA’s. I'm pretty sure I SHOULD now have super powers after being cooked so long hence my new super hero name. I didn’t sleep very well the night before. I kept having flashbacks to the previous one and it wasn’t a fun few hours. Fate was smiling on me … Continue reading The Advent Of Galaxy Bitch.. Or MRI day..
Hands up who immediately started singing “getting to know all about you” in their head?! Yup, you’re my tribe! Laura Venturini has created the “Getting to know you” challenge. It's very easy. 1. Copy and paste these rules and the questions listed below and tag at least two people to take the challenge. 2. Use … Continue reading Getting To Know You..
Blondie knew what she was talking about! Nothing is as irritating when you're trying to read than incessant phone calls. Particularly when they're asshat sales calls of fuckwittage. This doesn't bring out my best side. I have reading rabies. Don't believe me? Interrupt me mid chapter and diagnose it for yourself! A day in the … Continue reading Don’t Leave Me Hangin’ On The Telephone…
After much fuckwittery, I’m having the MRI/MRA of my brainium on the 31st. They’re knocking me out because it’s going to be a long one. I saw the ophthalmic neuro in Rochester on Dec 5th and she said it would probably be after Christmas because of booking an anaesthesiologist as well as the mri thingummyjob. … Continue reading The Saga Of Behind The Eyeball or How To Deal With Incompetent Lazy Fuckwits.
Christmas has come and gone and we’re already half way through January but I’m not done with it! Oooh no! I haven’t had a chance yet to tell you about it. I had a lot of fun playing tricks on people but there was one where I got EVERYONE! It was glorious. I tried to … Continue reading Howdy Doody Dinner..
Dear Whack Job Scientists, If ever you feel like taking a break from some of your more ludicrous experiments like The Propulsion Parameters Of Penguin Poop, Fruit Bat Fellatio or The Impact Of Wet Underwear On Thermal Comfort In The Cold, I have a challenge for you that will make women fawn all over you. … Continue reading Weight Loss, World Peace And Getting Whack Job Scientists Laid
It’s back to being just the two of us for a while which is nice. Well, the two of us and Daisy the devil dog. Oh and Milo the farting beagle, Chunks the Destroyer Of Cat Food And Hell Boy, the scaredy cat. But if you don’t count all of them - it’s just the … Continue reading Domestic… Bliss?!
Here I am, like a bad penny! It’s been a hectic couple of weeks of non stop cooking, cleaning up and stopping fights. I’m pretty sure my daughter, Princess PITA could fall out with herself if left in a room alone. I’d be a great flippin’ peace Ambassador after putting out all the ‘fires’ she … Continue reading Be Safe, Not Sorry
It's not just humans who are obsessed with sprinkles. Evidently Fat Farting Beagles are easily seduced by them too. I've just yelled at the Poopmeister because, as you can see, he was caught in the act. Snacking in the litter box. Dirty little shiteater - pffft! He has the audacity to look affronted at the … Continue reading Milo and the Kitty Nuggets
I’m so angry. I’ve just heard about the attempted and thankfully failed suicide of a teenager. Apparently they were being bullied online and couldn’t take it anymore. I am thoroughly convinced the Internet is the worst thing that has happened to our children. Cyber bullying, cyber predators, cyber sex, peer pressure, image distortion, to much … Continue reading Social Media. The End of Civilization?
I’ve been banjaxed for a couple of days so I’m playing almighty catchup here with days 27 through 30. Ironically I’m finishing the challenge the same way I started it, en block! Day 27 ‘A song that breaks your heart’ I think we can’t get past puberty without having a song that breaks our hearts. … Continue reading Days 27 – 30 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Dear Walmart, You assholes. Can we get Christmas and New Year over before we start on flippin' St Valentine's Day? God forbid you miss a sale you fat, lard-arsed, money-grabbing wankers Love Britchy
I totally lost Saturday thanks to migraine. I hate it when that happens so here I am, playing catch-up at 1:20 in the morning. The 22nd prompt is ‘A song that moves you forward’ I used to listen to this over and over again when times were tough and it’s become my mantra. Knock me … Continue reading Day 22 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
The prompt for today is ’A song that makes you think about life’ It’s been a busy day. I didn’t go to bed until 3am and was up again at 6am. I’ve been into Rochester to take Alma the cat to her new mummy, I’ve had my phone fixed and the days just gone. I’m … Continue reading Day 19 on The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Some thoughts to ponder today.. Public Service Announcement: Having lost my mind I ordered a peppermint mocha coffee this morning. It was *%¥@# AWFUL. You can save money by squeezing 6” of toothpaste and 8 tablespoons of sugar into your coffee to recreate the shite at home I had one mouthful and then shared it … Continue reading Monday, Monday..
Today’s prompt on the 30 day song challenge is ‘A song you like that’s a cover by another artist’ There are a lot of covers I love, Disturbed and Sound Of Silence, UB40 and Red Red Wine, Fine Young Cannibals and Suspicious Minds.. I was getting bogged down so I went with the first thought … Continue reading Day 15 on the Magical Musical Advent Calendar
It's funny, I was just reminiscing. When I first heard about "Toy Story" the movie and the characters, "Buzz" and "Woody".. I have to be honest and say I was expecting a totally different type of film.. It got me thinking though about things I’d really like for Christmas. They ranged from ice cube makers … Continue reading A Bitchin’ Letter To Santa
Today’s prompt is ‘A song you’d like to be played at your wedding’. Since I wouldn’t get married again if you paid me your average schmaltzy lovey-dicey crap is out the window. If I was dragged to a wedding kicking and screaming my music choices would reflect that so if you hear any of the … Continue reading Day 14 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Today’s prompt is ‘a song you never get tired of.’ There are a ton of songs with this as a qualifier for me. I’m going with a cover of a classic song. Honestly, I don’t really like the original of this. It’s a bit wishy washy. This version is incredible. I can and have listened … Continue reading Day 11 on The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Is that a fantastic idea or what?! How it took me this long in life to justify myself I’ll never know but ho ho ho - I’ll just have to make up for lost time! ‘im indoors isn’t a morning person. He’s like the living dead and can barely grunt. He staggers out of bed, … Continue reading The Advent Calendar Of Naughtiness
Today’s prompt is for a song that makes you sad. There’s a lot of songs this applies as well sadly. We all have songs that bring back painful memories. I’m definitely only picking one of these because I don’t want to spend my day in a black hole. My mums death was very painful. We … Continue reading Day 10 on the Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Dear shop assistants ‘im indoors says I need a %*!#ing warning label. I think KNOW I’m in disgrace and it’s all your fault.. Y’all ask dumbass questions sometimes! Do I want my potatoes in a bag? “Are these white carrots? I can’t find white carrots” (on the scanner jobbywhatsit. They were Parsnips) “Would you like … Continue reading (Mis)Adventures In Christmas Tree Shopping
Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Well I'll tell you! •It stays up for 12 days and nights •It has cute balls •It looks good with the lights on •It's perfectly acceptable to have a new one every year •It's normal to throw it out when you're fed up of picking up … Continue reading A Buyers Guide to Christmas Trees And Men
Nova at My Namasté has tagged me in a game of questions with friends! If you want to join in feel free to copy and paste the questions and answer them yourself! My answers are in bold type. Finish The Thought 1 Those words I couldn’t say… I don’t want any more cake thank you. … Continue reading Twenty Questions
"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 — a date which will live in infamy — the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan." This Franklin D Roosevelt addressed the Nation. Today is the 77th Anniversary of the attack on America by Japan. The event that … Continue reading A Day That Will Live Forever In Infamy.
As you all probably know by now I kinda like questionnaires! Teresa at The Haunted Wordsmith posted a list of questions and well - it’s my catnip! 1. What is the worst topping someone could put on a pizza? I’m not really a pizza fan to be honest. I belong to the ‘I like pineapple … Continue reading Twenty Questions
Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith has asked A few nighttime questions... so I answered them... 1 What is your favorite nighttime snack? I think it would be Hot Chocolate, Ovaltine or Horlicks. I love hot milky drinks when I want to get sleepy. 2 Porky Pig or Miss Piggy? Oooh no contest! I love MissPiggy. She’s … Continue reading Blogging for Insomniacs!
Finally, after a month of avoiding me and lurking in broom cupboards, Goldie at The Daily Flabbergast has realized resistance is futile and has returned to our happy little WordPress community. I’ve missed our Goldie so this makes me very happy, I don’t like it when my favorite bloggers go awol. I think I have … Continue reading Reward or Retribution?!
Lana from Welcome To Our Campfire asked about Christmas trees and my answer would have been too long for her poor comments box! We have a fake tree because I have a weird allergy to real ones. My hands and face swell up if I touch them and it’s painful. The bizarre thing is that … Continue reading Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree – Why Do You Cause Such Misery?!
A listers. Who the actual eff groups people like this? Oh you’re not good enough for this group so you go in second best, third best and so on. No wonder these people are so shallow. Entertainment is a fickle, immoral industry. Whatever I do or don’t wish for my kids, Hollywood ain’t on MY … Continue reading A-Z Of Things I Am NOT Thankful For..
I had to go to Best Buy today as I wanted an original Samsung charger for my tablet. I went in wearing my "vegetarian vampire" shirt and this mall cop stood right in front of me stuck his thumbs in his belt all cocky and said " So what does a vegetarian vampire do then?" … Continue reading Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts
This year I shall be carrying on a tradition I started two years ago. Maybe it’s a little early to call it a tradition - but it’s something I intend doing always. The year before last at about this time I was buying chocolate advent calendars for the kids. It’s something they love and I … Continue reading How To Make Your Christmas Merry And Bright
Kristian at Tales From The Mind Of Kristian, one of my favorite bloggers, has nominated me for a challenge created by Teresa at The Haunted Wordsmith. If you like very entertaining stories then these are two blogs you should be following. Directions (how about we call them directions rather than rules): 1. Answer the questions … Continue reading The ‘Ask It’ Round
Last week Bottomless Coffee ran a question and answer session which was a lot of fun. He challenged those of us who asked questions to allow our readers the same opportunity - so I did! Here are the questions I was asked and my answers to them. If you asked me questions or even if … Continue reading Reader Request Friday’s
A friend and I were out shopping this morning and got into a lift (elevator) with a guy with horrific dandruff. When he got out she turned to me and said "Someone needs to give him some head and shoulders" I've been thinking all morning and I just can't work it out.. how in HELL … Continue reading Monday Funday or Shopping Is Murder..
To anyone who has fought for my freedom, I thank you. Your sacrifices have given me the freedom to be me and I don't - and will never forget that. Some have given time, others have lost limbs. Too many have lost lives. All are changed and I can't begin to convey the respect I … Continue reading In Honour Of Those Who Sit And Wait.
My fellow blogger, Bottomless Coffee gave everyone the option last week to ask him anything. He’s going to make it a weekly thing where people get a chance to pick the topic and then ask questions on the topic. The first topic chosen was himself so we all asked him questions about him, his thoughts, … Continue reading Reader Request Friday’s!
I'm only going to make one post election comment. On Tuesday I sat at the polls all day as an election inspector. At about 9am the local Democrat and Republican parties collaborated and brought coffee and donuts to all the polling stations in our town. They worked together and did something good. It was a … Continue reading Moving Forward… Together?
Both Laura at All The Shoes I Wear and Jenni at Housewife Hustle have nominated me for a 'go back and kick your fifteen year old arse' tag. I'm not sure I can do that, I wore MUCH higher heels then, I don't think decrepit me can kick that high!! If I could build a … Continue reading A Trip In The Waaay Back Machine? No Thanks!
I was nominated twice for a Sunshine Blogger Award by both Jenni at Housewife Hustle and Kristian at Tales From The Mind Of Kristian Here are their Questions! Here are Kristian’s Questions first 1 Do you like Halloween? Yes I love it! We always had Halloween parties as kids so it’s always been fun for … Continue reading Sunshine Bloggeration
Halloween is over for another year. You can always tell because BOOM! Christmas shit is everywhere. I’m already sick to the eyeballs of ‘snowy white snow and jingle bells’ Seriously, who writes this crap? That’s a whole ‘nuther post. This may go on record as my most boring well behaved Halloween ever. It was just … Continue reading Trick or… Bitch?
... but falling apart is dead easy!! It's been a funny couple of weeks. I had a headache the day after I flew home from Ireland which I put down to jet lag after a long flight and then an equally long drive home. Literally!! Six and a half hours on the plane, seven hours … Continue reading Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…
Something to think about - make today YOURS!! Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Statistic of the day: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died of Ebola. The statistic does not state which is considered a worse fate. If you came with Instructions, what would they … Continue reading A Little Something For The Weekend?
You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.. That Kenny Rogers song is rattling around in my noggin and won’t go away. Sometimes you can’t help people no matter how hard you try. Knowing when to step back... and doing it - well they’re two of the hardest things ever to … Continue reading Every Hands A Winner And Every Hands A Loser
Gordon Ramsey. I'm not sure whether he's more famous for his cooking or his swearing. A little of both the guess! It's worked very well for him, Roast 'taters and The Eff Word.. so I thought I'd cash in. I'm more heifer than 'effer' so I decided I'd better bloody well think of something else. … Continue reading Chicken Bloody Pot Pie
I might have been a little bit naughty. Or Educational, take your pick. One of my friends who shall remain nameless (male and thicker than poo!!) was posting that his internet was really slow. Being "helpful" I told him his posts weren't showing up and that he must be was having connectivity issues and to … Continue reading Earth Men Are Easy
I stole this from Melanie at Sparks From A Combustible Mind and it looked like fun! Feel free to join in! 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I love it. I have found I prefer 'whiter' blue cheese like Danish to 'yellowy' blue cheese like Stilton though. I adore Stilton soup and white Stilton with … Continue reading Blogging On The Bathroom Wall
It sFnowed and turned to ice this morning and yesterday morning. It was below freezing both mornings too. I’m not a happy Britchy! Winter is upon us and it’s time to start planning my hibernation. I do not willingly leave warmth and anyone talking about the traumatic horrors of snow and ice can Get Stuffed! … Continue reading The ‘S’ Word And The Telly
I was re-reading Anne of Green Gables earlier and had to smile at her "White Way Of Delight" description of blossom trees lining a road as they drove along in a pony and trap. I spent a few happy minutes thinking how nice to describe places like that. Then I went out to the kitchen … Continue reading Thinkery I have Thunkeried
Monday was spent in the ER. A bit of a saga but I came home with a headache after the flight from Ireland on Tuesday last week. The first couple of days I was calling it Over Tiredness and Jet Lag. There’s no one who can make an excuse not to see a doctor better … Continue reading My Week So Far..
Have you ever noticed how news sites and other media malarkey is full of *big* people? People the world considers "important"? Have you ever met anyone famous? Were you in awe? Why? What have they done for you? I'm grateful everyday for the "little" people in my life. People who aren't rich. Aren't famous. Aren't … Continue reading The Most Important People In The World.
Sometimes I amaze even myself. Jobs I thought were commonplace are obviously rocket science and I never knew.. For example. The toilet roll needed changing. Someone got a new roll out of the cupboard and left it on the windowsill beside the toilet roll holder but didn't take the old empty roll off the spindle. … Continue reading My Super Hero Resume
Esther’s weekly challenge is to write something on the subject of favourite songs, music or artists so without further ado, my playlist.. I know I once said that I’m yours... and I was - for the longest time but guess what Mr. Know-It-All? SO WHAT?! You’ve been talking in your sleep about your new Dark … Continue reading Dear Ex…
I’ve realized a lot of things on this trip to see my Dad, not all of them great! He’s turned into a Mister Magoo with Tourette’s while driving for instance. How I’m still alive, well - I just don’t know! I now know this: I remember more prayers than I ever thought I knew They … Continue reading Driving With My Dad
This poetry malarkey is too much! Jeez. My brain hurts! I blame cake because I made a couple of dozen cupcakes today. I’m feeling a bit sick now because I’ve eaten four. My son Fartichoke exclaimed ‘Mum that’s your THIRD!’ I was very indignant I can tell you and righteously corrected him ‘It’s my second. … Continue reading A Pirate Life For Me..
I’m not much of a sports person. Not unless you count competitive pranking anyway. There is a plethora of good reasons for this. Darts got me in vehicular hot water. Tennis caused an Omen like effect on a greenhouse and even the genteel art of Bowls was dealt a death knell when it crossed paths … Continue reading Pot The Red And Screw Back…
I was thinking about hurricane advice and I realised, obviously it's all subjective. Stocking up on Bread and milk is NOT a good idea if you're gluten or lactose intolerant for instance.. so from there it was an easy stretch for me into how I'd 'survive' a hurricane!! Stores running out of gas,water and canned … Continue reading How I Would Get Through Hurricanes…
Make no mistake, these are NOT a few of my favorite things. This is that time of year when I just cannot overestimate the gullibility of people. Seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I love pumpkin spice - as in a mix of ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon (i leave out allspice and cloves because my pie, … Continue reading Autumn, Dark Nights and Pumpkin Spice..
I think I’d be good at Advertising, I really do. For instance: Pizza is not a health food. It’s a heart attack on a plate really with carbs and cholesterol etc. However if I describe it as a rustic base of ancient grains, enrobed with a blend of sun ripened tomatoes and artisanal cheese it … Continue reading Thunk Thoughts And Things I’ve Learned This Week
Game On was Created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! This twice weekly game will be 21 questions or in truth 16 flexi questions, because there will be five permanent that must stay in place at all time. Apart from those 5 permanent questions, should you choose to reblog, then you can change … Continue reading Game On – Laughter!!
Game On – S2 was created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! This twice weekly game will be 21 questions or in truth 16 flexi questions, because there will be five permanent that must stay in place at all time. But apart from those 5 permanent questions, should you choose to reblog, then … Continue reading Game On – Food Glorious Food!
I want to start with saying this post isn’t about politics!! Yesterday in 2015 was when I took my Citizenship test. I passed and was given a date for my Citizenship Ceremony. October 8th was when I took the Oath of Allegiance and became a Citizen. I also registered to vote. A large part of … Continue reading What Do YOU Do For Your Country??
I have a question. Counselling. It's always struck me as the biggest ripoff going. You sit and blather on to someone while looking for answers yourself and you pay them for doing absolutely nothing constructive! I think newspaper agony aunts have more value. I truly see this as a farce but I know others have … Continue reading Counselling – Salvation or Scam?
This was so much fun the other day with a solo artist I thought I'd go again with bands! I think I might do it for the next two weeks with slightly different questions for books and movies too. But for now, using only song names from ONE BAND, answer these questions. Im not tagging … Continue reading As Told By Queen
Two years ago I was going to visit my son in North Carolina and he asked me to get him a jar of pickled sausages. Yes you read that right - PICKLED SAUSAGES. Have you ever heard anything so disgusting? Apart from my nemesis, Cottage Cheese of course!! So I went along to Byrne Dairy … Continue reading Malodorous Mishaps!
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin! August 13 2018 August 13 is the 225th day of the year (226th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 140 days remaining until the end of the year. The zodiac sign for August 13 is Leo. Astrological symbol: Lion. This zodiac symbol is considered to … Continue reading August 13, 2018
I saw this as I was scrolling through FB and I know many of you are in situations that are beyond your immediate control. I thought this might help - have a wonderful day!! "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn't … Continue reading A Thought To Free You..
I was watching TV last night and got bored so I was flicking through for something to watch. I’ve FINALLY watched every episode of NCIS and Criminal Minds so I was at a bit of a loss. I came across a movie, The Spiderwick Chronicles. I’d taken the kids to see this at the Cinema … Continue reading How To Kill A Goblin Or Piss Off Your Ex
This week has had a couple of shopping expeditions for me and some very interesting encounters with outright repulsive people and people I’ll never forget. We’re a funny old species aren’t we?! I took myself off to HomeGoods to get some sugar free flavoured coffee syrups. I wanted raspberry and vanilla and before you can … Continue reading How To Change The World In The Time It Takes To Read This.
A good Christian would forgive you - A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’ Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! - The inflation … Continue reading Tuesday Thoughts
Rory has nominated me for an award but my favourite bit of those posts is the questions! From now on I’m just going to answer the questions.. What are your thoughts on the new slouchy denim Versace boots worn here by J-Lo? I love them except for the belt bit, I think that’s kinda tacky. … Continue reading Rory the Interrogator!
I may need an alibi. Fartichoke texted me and told me he saw a trailer for a film with me in it. I was thinking "The Devils Double" He was thinking "The Smurfs" Guess which one of us is going blue??? I haven’t been to the cinema in AGES. I really want to go and … Continue reading When The Scariest Part Of A Movie Is The Audience..
Me: "You spell light, ‘L-I-G-F-T’ don't you?" ‘im indoors: You idiot, there's no f in light!!! Me: I know, I've just had to wee in the dark. I am not appreciated *sigh* It seems my methods of car theft prevention are under appreciated around these parts too. I’m not exactly an Amazon. I’m 5’1” without … Continue reading Anti Theft Shenanigans And Weeing In The Dark..
Many years ago my parents had a country hotel. We had several animals ranging from miniature Shetland’s and Falabella’s through to a retired cart horse. We had two dogs, a three legged cat, peacocks, rare breed ducks, geese, chickens - I called them Mexican racing chickens because those little buggers never laid a single egg! … Continue reading The Emu and The MOAB (Mother Of All Britchy’s!)
Quelle surprise!! Il pleut 💦💧⛈💧💦 Le foook. ..It’s probably a judgment on me so anyone in upstate NY getting saturated today - mea culpa. Yes I’ve been a bad Britchy. After my latest prank I’m also an itchy Britchy and I feel very crawly with good reason! Read on.. Firstly I’m going to pretend I … Continue reading The Bathroom Bandit Strikes Again – ‘im Indoors Has Nothing To Go On.
After Ratface Wrinkle- Winkle and I separated I quite enjoyed having a free babysitter! It was nice to get the occasional night off! He wasn’t very good about having them so I made the most of when he did. On this one particular occasion I was looking forward to a nice long bath without interruptions. … Continue reading Ratface, Ozzy And The TomTom – Or Where To Go And How To Get There.
Who remembers way back in the olden days - those prehistoric times when we had dial up modems - 28.8 was scorchingly fast. Windows 95 was the hot ticket, Netscape and ICQ - It was the Bronze Age Of Internet-ery and no one wanted to admit to being online as the internet was only for … Continue reading Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..
Have you ever read a book that just takes you on a roller coaster of emotions that leave you not knowing which way is up? This is one of those kinds of books. It gets you by the throat and pulls you close, hypnotising you so you can't put it down. Nothing else matters, this … Continue reading Book Recommendation – Mr God, This Is Anna
Was inglourious basterds meant to be spelled so badly or did they just do it because they knew it would piss me off? I’ve never watched it because the bloody spelling annoys me so much! If God didn't think humility was important, SHE would have put the prostate somewhere else. If ever I wanted a … Continue reading Things I Think Of Instead Of Doing Something More Productive
I was nominated by Rory or was it Scrappy?! for the Friday Funday Challenge – Game On – You Name It! The Friday Funday Challenge was created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! and it’s a weekly questionnaire with a twist! He asks19 questions, and nominates three bloggers who have to answer 16 … Continue reading Thank Fun it’s Friday!!
Inspiration can strike at the strangest times really. Great Ideas can come to you when you least expect it and I’ve learned opportunity seldom knocks twice. Let no shenanigans go to waste are words to live by. Ratface Wrinkle-Winkle was a man of few talents but prodigious regularity. Rainman was an amateur compared to old … Continue reading In The Still Of The Night… The Coincidence Of Night, Fright and Shite Rhyming!
I was nominated by that Guy Called Bloke to take part in his Friday 13th Challenge. Here’s how it works: Each Friday l will ask 19 new questions, and nominate 3 bloggers of my own who will answer 16 of my questions, but insert 3 questions of their own and answer those as well, so … Continue reading Friday 13th Tag – Beware of the Britch!!
We’re going on a trip in the way back machine today! Fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking whilst we prepare for Blast Off.. Sit back comfortably but don’t go to sleep because, well, things can happen in dreams and real life simultaneously. You didn’t know that? Get yourself some caffeine and I’ll explain. Farquhar … Continue reading The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..
Titselina Bumsqueak and I were chatting about ex's and how we both have ex’s called Dave. At some point in life, every single one of us knows a Dave who is a complete knobsock. We dated them, we worked with them - our lives have been blighted by a plague of Dave’s, in fact it’s … Continue reading The Theory of Men or Don’t go there!
Are you having a seizure of some sort? I'm writing this post on my phone. I have the WordPress app on my phone so I have always got something interesting to read. That's useful but what you may not realise is it also shows just how fast notifications come in. I was just texting with … Continue reading Dear Serial “liker”..
You know the saying ‘The Devil makes work for idle hands’? Hold that thought. It’s the best alibi I’ve got. Weekday mornings when my kids were little were chaotic. I was still in England with my ex so I had two school kids, a baby, me, two kittens trying to climb up my legs and … Continue reading The Pros And Cons Of Laser Hair Removal – Or Feline Groovy..
‘im indoors had been having a bit of a grumble lately because of the heat. He doesn’t mind the heat so much as the humidity. We had a whacking great downpour this afternoon. I’d gone to Wegmans to buy stuff to make a baked cheesecake and as I was leaving it was absolutely leathering it … Continue reading Mad Dogs And (Formerly) English Women Go Out In The Midday Sun..
Have you ever had someone say something that you want to burst out laughing at - but you don't want to hurt their feelings? I was at the doctors and the little nurse practitioner came in to check my BP etc and she asked where I was from... The conversation went like this: Me: I'm … Continue reading What Language Do You Speak?
I was nominated again by That Guy Called Bloke and I do enjoy this challenge! I love quotes so finding the perfect one to suit his prompts is fun. I particularly liked today’s topic so I have deliberately chosen quotes that kind of follow each other - I hope you enjoy 😊 Rules: 3.2.1 Quote … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me! “The Art Of Conversation”
Yesterday while I was driving home after shopping, I was sat in traffic at a four way intersection. A big Suburban came hurtling around from the right with lights and sirens and a local fire department logo on its side. Next a white pick up came through the red light with lights and sirens. Both … Continue reading On Burning the Flag.
I’ve been tagged by old buggerlugs himself, that Guy Called Bloke to take part in a book tag! I’m a very prolific reader.. in fact this has probably kept me out of jail as I can’t read and shenaniganate at the same time. Books are one of the few expenses ‘im indoors is delighted by. … Continue reading Spring Cleaning With A Book Tag
I took one of my Amish friends shopping on Friday.. her and her five kids under the age of seven - to Walmart and Aldi.. Yes I need my head tested Yes I deserve a medal!! That's not what this saga is about though, the subject of The Amish is a whole 'nuvver post! When … Continue reading Pie In The Sky… Or The Mysterious Case Of The Hissing Strawberries.
He’s at it again! That Guy Called Bloke has only gone and challenged me to choose my favourite quotes relating to being you and only you. I hope you all realise how special you are. I value my friends for who they are, just as they are. People’s flaws make them as unique as their … Continue reading 3.2.1 – Quote Me! “Being You And Only You”
At some point in our lives we’re all going to have one of ‘those’ friends. The ‘keeping up appearances’ type. Shallow as a puddle in the Sahara. The sort for whom image is everything. I don’t know if they are really insecure or totally oblivious but the fact remains, which ever it is they’re BLOODY … Continue reading Her? Oh She’s All Fur Hat and No Knickers… And Marmite.
I was nominated byThe Haunted Wordsmith for this fabulous challenge created by our one and only Guy Called Bloke. The challenge for me and the people I nominate is CHANGE. Right now I’m dying. Next doors shitty, maggoty, bad-tempered virago of a labradoodle has just fought and killed a skunk under my living room window. … Continue reading 3.2.1 – Quote Me! “Change”
This challenge was created by Ray of Ray Not Bradbury and it’s a very unique premise! I was nominated by A Guy Called Bloke and you can read his post by clicking on the hyperlink. Here’s the 'How To Take Part': Describe a very famous person (preferably historical, or well known – to everyone!). Include … Continue reading There’s a New Challenge In Town! One Day With A Star..
I’ve been tagged by His Royal Blokeyness in his fun quote challenge! I love this, I’m a big fan of quotes so this is very enjoyable for me. Rory is absolutely the mortar between the bricks of WordPress blogs. He's such a great blogger himself and he is unfailingly supportive of others. If you need … Continue reading 3,2,1… Quote Me!! “Celebrate LIFE!!”
The ever fun - filled Guy Called Bloke has created another challenge! This is one I’m going to love because it’s answering questions that don’t have right or wrong answers like when was the battle of Hastings and explain Hookes law! It’s also very long because as you probably already know, I Don’t Shut Up! … Continue reading So You Think You Can Interrogate?!
I was nominated by the truly delightful Jo at The Creative PTSD Gal. to take part in 3,2,1 - Quote Me! again! I love her blog and her doodles, it's a great read and some fabulous art I'd love on my walls. The rules of this challenge are simple. • Thank the Selector • Post … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me! “The Power Of One”
I was talking to a friend today and said I’d been up and down for a few weeks. I’ve had a few bad events, sad reminders, losses and life is unsettled and it’s taken a toll. I’m not exactly a puddle of tears, snot and used Kleenex and I have had a lot of fun … Continue reading Moody, Miserable, Bitchy – And Why I Hate The Word ‘Depression’
I'm quite thrilled to have been tagged again by A Guy Called Bloke for his own invention of a quote tag. Of all the things that do the rounds, this is probably one of my favourites. I do truly love the questions he asks on awards posts too.. they are NEVER boring! The rules of … Continue reading 3,2,1 -Quote Me!! “Success”
Kristian at Tales From The Mind Of Kristian nominated me for a Liebster! Whilst I was thrilled, I've chosen to just answer the questions because I know so many of you are about to head off on summer vacations. I don't want to add the stress of tags to your fun! I love them but … Continue reading Liebster Questions!
A Guy Called Bloke started a truly fun little tag whereby he gives a theme to quote on and tags three people and we see how far we can take it! It’s great fun and the rules are easy: • Thank the Selector • Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day. • … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me!!
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
The fantabulous wordsmith, Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this intriguing tag. I’ve really enjoyed this and I’m sad to get to day three. Do you follow Kristian? You absolutely should. He’s one of my absolute favourite bloggers , one of the very few I make sure to keep … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Three
The ever amazing Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this fabulous tag. Pick three song lyrics that mean something to you and share them over three days. I’m currently down in North Carolina again and while I was driving around Raleigh today I started reminiscing about places and people. … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Two
I’ve been nominated by the ever fantastic Kristian of Tales From The Mind of Kristian . If you haven’t found Kristian’s blog yet, you’re missing out. He’s absolutely one of my top ten favourite blogs. The rules of this tag are: Thank the person who nominated you Post 1 quote (song lyric) each day for … Continue reading Three Song Lyrics, Three Days – Day One
George was special from the moment he was born. I had adopted a stray who I called Prader Willi (because that cat ate EVERYTHING) She was pregnant and I was going to get her spayed when she had had her kittens. She had four kittens. One black, One black and white, one tabby and one … Continue reading The Story Of George, The Ginger Stealer Of Hearts.
I was nominated by one of my top ten favourite bloggers Tales From The Mind of Kristian to take part in a challenge created by another top ten blogger A Guy Called Bloke for a very interesting challenge “Ancient Authors” The rules are simple, as always: •Choose the author or philosopher (it should be one from … Continue reading A Greek Tragedy – Ancient Authors Challenge
I was nominated by Okie-Dokie-Bloke who is, coincidentally, the creator of this game! Here’s what he has to say: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and nominate 3 bloggers, who in … Continue reading 3.2.1 Quote Me! #2
There’s a new Challenge in town!! 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke Here’s what he has to say about it: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and … Continue reading 3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
....And that was just the therapist. Ever had one of those days where your mouth is ten steps ahead of your common sense? All.The.Flippin.Time I was at the physical therapists yesterday. I wasn’t looking forward to it, I’d had a bad night and couldn’t sleep with pain so whilst I started off smiley and polite.. … Continue reading Physical Therapy – It’s Only a Little Prick..
I was down in NC (amongst other places) last week and I stayed with my son Fartichoke and his friends. For some obscure reason his friends love me and all have to visit every time I’m down which led to many sunrise bedtimes.. I’m getting too old for that crap! Fartichoke was telling stories of … Continue reading How I Upset EVERYONE!!
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/24/18
I was nominated by both Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees, if you need a good laugh or to get lost for a couple of hours there’s no better way to do it!! RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you •Post one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/20/18
I was nominated by the inimitable Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles. These are blogs I enjoy a lot and I’m thrilled to get a nom from them! I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees. RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day one quote for … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/19/18
I was nominated by two lovely ladies Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles so with much joy, I get to play again!! I’d love you to check their blogs out and also my nominees. You won't be sorry!! RULES: 1. Thank the person who nominated you. 2. Post one quote per day one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/18/18
I had a lovely long conversation with Titselina Bumsqueak who reminded me of several ‘Things I Have Done’. Honestly, sometimes it feels like she just doesn’t appreciate the lengths I go to and the depths I plummet for her benefit. I was visiting her and we’d gone into the small seaside town she lives in … Continue reading How To Liven Up Grocery Shopping – Or NOT..
Inside every one of us there's a light that shines sparkles and fizzes. It doesn't matter how old you are, your weight, colour, race or IQ. We all have the ability to make someone else's day magical. I met a man today in the car park at Walmart. He was with a group of like … Continue reading When Lovely Turns Ugly
Sadly this is day three of what is really a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/13/18
This is such a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to take part in the challenge. I’ve … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – O5/12/18
For many this is one of the most bittersweet holidays in the year. We've either lost a mother, we have kids in situations neither they or we wanted to be in or our kids are too far away or too busy to find time for us. Some of us have never been mothers, some of … Continue reading A Thought for Mothers Day
I actually have a few of these so I’m going to do them two at a time. I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/11/18.
Yeah really! Fat chance my friends! FAT!! CHANCE!! I realized I hadn’t completed this nomination from That Guy Called Bloke which is disgraceful. I can’t believe I missed it, I love his nominations because they’re so much fun - his questions are a riot! This brings me to the boring bit. Rules. I generally don’t … Continue reading A Liebster a Day Makes Me Behave..
Daisy is in disgrace. At least that’s MY version! In hers she’s a total badass!! We went out for a walk a little while ago, it’s a nice evening, a little chilly for my liking but we walked on the sunny side of the street to try and get the best out of it. This … Continue reading Give a dog a bone..
Kids have such a lovely way of both surprising and shaming us at the same time don’t they?! When mine were little, I was waiting at the school gates, as you do! My 6 year old daughter (at the time) arrived but I still had to wait for my son. At the top of her … Continue reading Kids Say The Darnedest Things!!
I was walking Daisy this afternoon and I heard a guy talking on his cell "I'm his first gay bear" Well that caught my attention but the bugger got across the road quicker than me and I didn't hear anymore. I was intrigued. Gay Bear?? I had to go to Aunty Google asap and apparently … Continue reading Of Mice and Men? More like Rats and Rascals!
*Sigh* Being of unsound mind and body I decided to clear out some kitchen cupboards. I found my old two slice black toaster so left it on the counter because I'm going to give it to my son. My black handbag is also in the counter. On my way to get dressed to go shopping … Continue reading Heated Conversation??
Today was the day. Seeing the bone doctor about my shoulders. I was dreading it. I hadn’t thought about it before but I suddenly realized - there was a definite risk of pain. By the time I’d actually got to the Doctors offices I’d worked myself up into a right state. Once again we had … Continue reading Atlas Shrugged…. Lucky Bloody Atlas!!
This post is dedicated, with much love, to.. I think you all know who you are. A lot of the amazing blogs that I follow have been posting lately about addiction and it’s effect on their lives. Mothers of addicts, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives... And it breaks my heart because the over riding emotions are … Continue reading Give Me The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read Monday and Tuesdays posts you’ll know that this is one of my favorite blogs. Enjoy!! Today’s quote comes from Charles H Spurgeon and it’s how I want to live. ‘Carve your name on hearts, not marble’
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read yesterday’s quote, you’ll know that a) it was one of my favorite quotes and b) this is one of my favorite blogs. Off you go for a tiptoe through a garden of delights! My quote for today is from a … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – Day Two 05/01/18.
Have you ever done anything you’re deeply ashamed of? When I was five or six I went to a birthday party. I went to lots of birthday parties! They all followed a pattern. Pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey, sandwiches, sausages rolls, crisps, cakes and biscuits - singing happy birthday and going … Continue reading Shame?? – me too.
We've had quite a bit of rain so far today. I just took my little dog Daisy out for her eleven millionth piddle of the day and we met a frog. She was a little intimidated at first but then desperately wanted to play and make friends. Froggy wasn't having any of it though. He … Continue reading Daisy and the Frog Prince
Things were going entirely too well round here. It had been days or at least hours since my last mortification - I should have known it couldn't last!! It was a "lovely" day today. Temps reached the heady heights of 58F (14C) here in the frozen Norf. I almost discarded one of my three pairs … Continue reading Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
Having compiled quotes from US Presidents and British Prime Ministers, I’m finishing my little series with a homage to who I consider, the greatest of them all. Winston Churchill was an incredible man. He pushed amazing reforms through. He truly fought for the underdog and I believe he carried the Brits through WW2 with the … Continue reading The World According to Winston
They knew a thing or two didn't they?! I've read a few quotes lately and found a fair few from US Presidents - so I thought I'd make a list! On Unemployment A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to … Continue reading Those ol’ Presidents..
Okay so yes. We all know KNOW I'm evil - and I KNOW I'm going straight to hell but - Someone just called my cell phone and didn’t give me a chance to speak before stating very peremptorily "Hello I need to see the doctor for my constipation” Now in my defence, she didn’t give … Continue reading Paging Dr Britchy!!
I was asked a question recently after spending a great deal of time helping someone with a problem they just couldn’t understand. It was.. challenging and I’ll be honest, very annoying because it was really simple. Eventually I found a way to help them understand thankfully. Afterwards I was asked why I bothered, “it wasn’t … Continue reading Be a Virus