On Memorial Day

Memorial Day We drove past Vassar today which was a mistake. It’s Commencement today. You know what that means? Chaos!! Lots of entitled twits in cars trying to back into traffic without looking because the nasty campus security wouldn’t let them drive into the handicapped parking area without a tag. There was an astronomical amount … Continue reading On Memorial Day

The Saga Of Behind The Eyeball or How To Deal With Incompetent Lazy Fuckwits.

After much fuckwittery, I’m having the MRI/MRA of my brainium on the 31st. They’re knocking me out because it’s going to be a long one. I saw the ophthalmic neuro in Rochester on Dec 5th and she said it would probably be after Christmas because of booking an anaesthesiologist as well as the mri thingummyjob. … Continue reading The Saga Of Behind The Eyeball or How To Deal With Incompetent Lazy Fuckwits.

Weight Loss, World Peace And Getting Whack Job Scientists Laid

Dear Whack Job Scientists, If ever you feel like taking a break from some of your more ludicrous experiments like The Propulsion Parameters Of Penguin Poop, Fruit Bat Fellatio or The Impact Of Wet Underwear On Thermal Comfort In The Cold, I have a challenge for you that will make women fawn all over you. … Continue reading Weight Loss, World Peace And Getting Whack Job Scientists Laid

Social Media. The End of Civilization?

I’m so angry. I’ve just heard about the attempted and thankfully failed suicide of a teenager. Apparently they were being bullied online and couldn’t take it anymore. I am thoroughly convinced the Internet is the worst thing that has happened to our children. Cyber bullying, cyber predators, cyber sex, peer pressure, image distortion, to much … Continue reading Social Media. The End of Civilization?

How To Change The World In The Time It Takes To Read This.

This week has had a couple of shopping expeditions for me and some very interesting encounters with outright repulsive people and people I’ll never forget. We’re a funny old species aren’t we?! I took myself off to HomeGoods to get some sugar free flavoured coffee syrups. I wanted raspberry and vanilla and before you can … Continue reading How To Change The World In The Time It Takes To Read This.

The Emu and The MOAB (Mother Of All Britchy’s!)

Many years ago my parents had a country hotel. We had several animals ranging from miniature Shetland’s and Falabella’s through to a retired cart horse. We had two dogs, a three legged cat, peacocks, rare breed ducks, geese, chickens - I called them Mexican racing chickens because those little buggers never laid a single egg! … Continue reading The Emu and The MOAB (Mother Of All Britchy’s!)

The Bathroom Bandit Strikes Again – ‘im Indoors Has Nothing To Go On.

Quelle surprise!! Il pleut 💦💧⛈💧💦 Le foook. ..It’s probably a judgment on me so anyone in upstate NY getting saturated today - mea culpa. Yes I’ve been a bad Britchy. After my latest prank I’m also an itchy Britchy and I feel very crawly with good reason! Read on.. Firstly I’m going to pretend I … Continue reading The Bathroom Bandit Strikes Again – ‘im Indoors Has Nothing To Go On.

Ratface, Ozzy And The TomTom – Or Where To Go And How To Get There.

After Ratface Wrinkle- Winkle and I separated I quite enjoyed having a free babysitter! It was nice to get the occasional night off! He wasn’t very good about having them so I made the most of when he did. On this one particular occasion I was looking forward to a nice long bath without interruptions. … Continue reading Ratface, Ozzy And The TomTom – Or Where To Go And How To Get There.

Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..

Who remembers way back in the olden days - those prehistoric times when we had dial up modems - 28.8 was scorchingly fast. Windows 95 was the hot ticket, Netscape and ICQ - It was the Bronze Age Of Internet-ery and no one wanted to admit to being online as the internet was only for … Continue reading Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..

In The Still Of The Night… The Coincidence Of Night, Fright and Shite Rhyming!

Inspiration can strike at the strangest times really. Great Ideas can come to you when you least expect it and I’ve learned opportunity seldom knocks twice. Let no shenanigans go to waste are words to live by. Ratface Wrinkle-Winkle was a man of few talents but prodigious regularity. Rainman was an amateur compared to old … Continue reading In The Still Of The Night… The Coincidence Of Night, Fright and Shite Rhyming!

The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..

We’re going on a trip in the way back machine today! Fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking whilst we prepare for Blast Off.. Sit back comfortably but don’t go to sleep because, well, things can happen in dreams and real life simultaneously. You didn’t know that? Get yourself some caffeine and I’ll explain. Farquhar … Continue reading The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..

Her? Oh She’s All Fur Hat and No Knickers… And Marmite.

At some point in our lives we’re all going to have one of ‘those’ friends. The ‘keeping up appearances’ type. Shallow as a puddle in the Sahara. The sort for whom image is everything. I don’t know if they are really insecure or totally oblivious but the fact remains, which ever it is they’re BLOODY … Continue reading Her? Oh She’s All Fur Hat and No Knickers… And Marmite.