Sometimes the lengths I’ll go to in preparing a prank amaze even me. I’m quite sure there are a lot of Hollywood stunts that haven’t had as much thought and practice put into them.
Many of my little escapades involve the victim bringing it on themselves. They’re kind of my favorite as they’re the least expected ones.
I know what you’re thinking, how can anyone not expect the unexpected here?? – but I look all calm and sensible with my nose stuck in a book and honestly, the muppets are lulled into a false sense of security.
You may remember the screamer balloon in the can of coffee and the bog monster. Prime examples of Britchy’s Box
..I taught that Pandora girl all she knows lol. The only difference between us being, she gave people hope along with everything else from the box.
I’m not that gracious.
As an aside, Pandora’s box was filled with all the evils of the world, famine, plague, death… and there, right at the bottom of the box was Hope. As well as all the horrors she released into the world, she released Hope.
Was that the ancient Greeks trying to tell us that Hope is really an evil? a false friend who strings us along?
Or rather, were they telling us that, in the midst of all the worlds catastrophes, evil can’t eradicate the essential core of goodness?
No prizes for guessing which version I choose to believe!
Enough of the detour, it’s time to get this back on track. ‘What track?’ you ask, as well you might. There isn’t enough superglue in the world to make me stay on point!
Whilst packing up to move my happy ass from NY to NC, I rediscovered a lot of treasures. Some goodies hadn’t been seen in 18 months or more as I didn’t really decorate for any holidays but Christmas last year.
I found a box of Helenween treasures and my two full size jointed skeletons were in there. They looked kind of lonely and sad so I thought I’d cheer them up.
We have two staircases in our NY house, one of which comes down into what is now our kitchen. It’s hidden behind a door so its pretty sneaky if you’re that way inclined. Spoiler:I am!
I hung the skeleton from a nail above the door on the inside and tucked his feet up onto one of the steps very gingerly. As soon as anyone opened the door the motion would dislodge his head which was pushing on the door causing the whole skeleton to sway at you, arms and legs flailing.
Diabolical huh?! All I had to do was look busy.
I was in the kitchen when Sthmellyarthe, kid #3 walked in. He headed for the door to go upstairs rather than walk to the other end of the house. I honestly don’t know how I kept the maniacal grin off my face but reserves of strength appeared from somewhere and I stood gurning at the cookie dough I was mixing.
He opened the door – and screamed like a banshee. He staggered back, white as a ghost with his legs crossed. I was laughing so hard it was nearly running down my leg.
As soon as he realized it was a joke he found it hilarious. He took pics to Snapchat to friends and his dad to show them how he’d been caught. His dad replied, ‘now you can see why we’re divorced’ – classy dude!
He helped me reset Sir Skellybones so that when ‘im indoors got home I could play again. The unaware victim got home as usual and followed his routine of taking the dog out and then coming back in and getting his slippers off the back stair case where he hides them from Hellboy the cat (he shits in them if unattended)
He opened the door and roared in fright. He got smacked in the face by the skeletal rib cage, Milo, the fat farting beagle thought he was playing so jumped at him and knocked him off balance causing him to crash into the kitchen bin which then started Daisy barking.
Pandemonium reigned to a ‘last night of the proms’ style chorus of laughter from Sthmellyarthe and myself.
As had been declaimed many, many times… I’m NOT funny and one of these days I’ll kill someone or cause a serious accident. That’s me told.
He confiscated Sir Skellybones and put him in the garage until I moved.
Good job I still had Lady Kneebone huh?!
After a pretty silent evening at Casa Del Britchy – I was in the doghouse again! – ‘im indoors took himself off to bed. I know his routine too well and knew he’d be out cold within half an hour so a little after that, Lady Kneebone and I ascended to the upper bathroom.
I perched her sat on the toilet, turned out the light and left her on her throne.
Sthmellyarthe knew not to use that bathroom so we settled in to watching the two Guardians of the Galaxy movies back to back.
A good evening can only get better. We weren’t even halfway through the popcorn before ‘Jesus H Christ’ and a load of clattering.
Stomp, stomp, stomp on the stairs announced the arrival of a somewhat disheveled husband clutching a skeleton. Without a word, he stomped out of the house and unceremoniously launched Lady Kneebone into the garage. Stomp, stomp, stomp back in and up stairs without a word! We meanwhile couldn’t stop laughing.
Now if he had any sense, he would have kept the two skeletons when I moved down here but noooo, he packed them for me to bring so obviously he likes the pranks really!
I’ll definitely be reacquainting them when he next comes to visit!
This post was thunked up in response to a Discover Prompts post from Ben Huberman – Open.