..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
Tomorrow, May 8th is VE Day. Victory in Europe day. It's the 75th anniversary of it and whilst it may not be a big deal in America, it's huge in England. My daughters first birthday fell on the 50th anniversary. Tomorrow she turns 26 as the world acknowledges 75 years since the day Allied forces formally … Continue reading In Honor Of VE Day
I have got a mahooosive fridge freezer. It's wider than I'm long. It's 66"" wide, I'm 61" tall. I love it but the boys? Not so much! The problem is the doors weren't hung quite right when it was fitted. The fridge side is off slightly which causes it to reopen if you don't shut … Continue reading Fartichoke And The Revenge Of The Fridge
Sometimes the lengths I'll go to in preparing a prank amaze even me. I'm quite sure there are a lot of Hollywood stunts that haven't had as much thought and practice put into them. Many of my little escapades involve the victim bringing it on themselves. They're kind of my favorite as they're the least … Continue reading Opening Pandora’s Box..
We’re in difficult times. We’re facing uncertainty, food shortages and the very real possibility of losing family members. This last happened during World War 2 and I can’t help but see certain similarities. Profiteering and the Black Market was terribly despised then. You could be jailed or even hung. Even as a collaborator, knowing, but seeing … Continue reading Are we raising the next ‘Greatest Generation’?
Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! A Joyous Kwanzaa! Cool Yule- Whatever you celebrate - or don't. May the joy and wonders of the season lighten your day. It's a crazy house here. There's me, 'im indoors, 5 dogs, 1 cat, 1 daughter, 2 sons, 1 son in law, 1 fiancée, 2 grandsons and not enough Valium! … Continue reading Which Way Is Up?! Seasons Bleatings From The Woolly Minded!
Today has been, ghastly. Last week I took my Chunkeroo to the vet because he wasn’t eating and he had a lump on his jaw. ‘im indoors thought it was an abscess as fatty Chunkahula had had teeth out previously. The vet thought my Chunkzilla had a blocked salivary gland so the plan was to … Continue reading Goodbye Chunks.
One of the things in life that brings me most joy is my pets. One of the things in life that brings me most sorrow... is pets. Chunks, Chunkmeister, Chunkzilla, Chunkahula.. the cat of a thousand names and a breakfast for each of them. ChunkyMonkey isn't doing so well. I took him to the vet … Continue reading Back At The Heartbreak Hotel.
In the Bible, Satan aka the serpent, tempted Eve into sin with an apple. It’s. I’ve to know some things never change huh?! Apples led me astray today as well. It wasn’t a very long walk admittedly. Truth be told, I have frequent flyer miles in sinning.. Moving swiftly on! I was in Wegmans and … Continue reading Apples and …Ketchup?!
So I haven’t been all sweetness and light this summer. Hard to believe I know but there it is. I found time for a little naughtiness along the way! I went down to Georgia for my grandsons first birthday. I know! It’s only five minutes since he was born! How the heck did that happen?! … Continue reading Cracklin’ Crap and Infested Drawers..
Don’t be afraid to leave a job. There comes a time when they can’t see past what they think you are or can do. Sometimes you have to shine your light in a different corner Don’t be afraid to dance. It doesn’t matter who is watching, it only matters that you feel alive. Don’t be … Continue reading Don’t
Aren’t men funny? In every sense of the word. Funny ha-ha, funny peculiar and funny-why-are-you-still-alive? ‘im indoors is a prime example. There’s the easy way, the hard way and his way. I have the patience of a saint I’m telling ya! Cars. I want to buy a new/newer car when we move. I’ve kind of … Continue reading Geezerly McFuddy-Duddy And The Oldest Swinger In Town.
I had an interesting conversation this week. About God. Not something I talk about a lot. Religion - or belief, is one of ‘those subjects’. You know. The ones thar get people well and truly aerated. This conversation was along the lines of ‘if there’s a God, why does bad stuff happen’. I had a … Continue reading Almighty Parenting!
Well in spite of being extraordinarily busy at work and working extra hours every day this week.. I still found time to ponder a load of crap. Obviously this means YOU now have to ponder it too! These are the things I think of when I’m hiding out in the bathroom because I’m over peopled!! … Continue reading Things I Just Don’t Get..
So this was an educational weekend. We got a lot of gardening done but the kitchen progress stalled because Home Depot cut the kitchen counter tops incorrectly. I did suggest ‘im indoors measured them before accepting them but What Do I Know. I Am A Mere Woman And Shouldn’t Trouble My Pretty Little Head With … Continue reading What A Palaver!
Never kiss frogs. They might turn into a handsome prince and who’s got time for that shit? Being married to a "Dave" means leaving this world the way you came into it.. Screaming and covered in someone else's blood... Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, Happen! Don't put a stupid look on my face and … Continue reading Saturday Thoughts…
After my Mother’s Day post I just wanted to finish my thoughts. My mum was a complicated woman. She lived a very black and white life when truthfully, life is just many shades of grey. She made life hard for herself and others but ultimately I think she hurt herself most of all. I have … Continue reading Give A Little, Get A Lot
....you know it's going to be one of those days when your daughter texts you a picture of a fella and you text back: How much did you drink? 1. He's too old for you 2. He's repulsive. 3. Check the sex offender registry because that right there is a pervert. ....and she replies "That's … Continue reading The Frog Prince?
Christmas has come and gone and we’re already half way through January but I’m not done with it! Oooh no! I haven’t had a chance yet to tell you about it. I had a lot of fun playing tricks on people but there was one where I got EVERYONE! It was glorious. I tried to … Continue reading Howdy Doody Dinner..
It’s back to being just the two of us for a while which is nice. Well, the two of us and Daisy the devil dog. Oh and Milo the farting beagle, Chunks the Destroyer Of Cat Food And Hell Boy, the scaredy cat. But if you don’t count all of them - it’s just the … Continue reading Domestic… Bliss?!
Here I am, like a bad penny! It’s been a hectic couple of weeks of non stop cooking, cleaning up and stopping fights. I’m pretty sure my daughter, Princess PITA could fall out with herself if left in a room alone. I’d be a great flippin’ peace Ambassador after putting out all the ‘fires’ she … Continue reading Be Safe, Not Sorry
We have a fake tree because I have a weird allergy to real ones. My hands and face swell up if I touch them and it’s painful. The bizarre thing is that last year I got the hands swelling thing from the fake tree. I think it’s because I put so many lights on it … Continue reading Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree – Why Do You Cause Such Misery?!
I had to go to Best Buy today as I wanted an original Samsung charger for my tablet. I went in wearing my "vegetarian vampire" shirt and this mall cop stood right in front of me stuck his thumbs in his belt all cocky and said " So what does a vegetarian vampire do then?" … Continue reading Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts
Something to think about - make today YOURS!! Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Statistic of the day: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died of Ebola. The statistic does not state which is considered a worse fate. If you came with Instructions, what would they … Continue reading A Little Something For The Weekend?
I was re-reading Anne of Green Gables earlier and had to smile at her "White Way Of Delight" description of blossom trees lining a road as they drove along in a pony and trap. I spent a few happy minutes thinking how nice to describe places like that. Then I went out to the kitchen … Continue reading Thinkery I have Thunkeried
Monday was spent in the ER. A bit of a saga but I came home with a headache after the flight from Ireland on Tuesday last week. The first couple of days I was calling it Over Tiredness and Jet Lag. There’s no one who can make an excuse not to see a doctor better … Continue reading My Week So Far..
Have you ever noticed how news sites and other media malarkey is full of *big* people? People the world considers "important"? Have you ever met anyone famous? Were you in awe? Why? What have they done for you? I'm grateful everyday for the "little" people in my life. People who aren't rich. Aren't famous. Aren't … Continue reading The Most Important People In The World.
Sometimes I amaze even myself. Jobs I thought were commonplace are obviously rocket science and I never knew.. For example. The toilet roll needed changing. Someone got a new roll out of the cupboard and left it on the windowsill beside the toilet roll holder but didn't take the old empty roll off the spindle. … Continue reading My Super Hero Resume
I’ve realized a lot of things on this trip to see my Dad, not all of them great! He’s turned into a Mister Magoo with Tourette’s while driving for instance. How I’m still alive, well - I just don’t know! I now know this: I remember more prayers than I ever thought I knew They … Continue reading Driving With My Dad
I'm here safe and sound in Galway having just shovelled as much tea and soda bread down my neck as humanly possible! We're heading across country to Dublin shortly and then flying to Tenerife tomorrow. So far it's been Saturday in New York, Sunday in Galway, Monday in Dublin and Tuesday in Tenerife. I don't … Continue reading If it’s Monday it must be Dublin..
I was thinking about hurricane advice and I realised, obviously it's all subjective. Stocking up on Bread and milk is NOT a good idea if you're gluten or lactose intolerant for instance.. so from there it was an easy stretch for me into how I'd 'survive' a hurricane!! Stores running out of gas,water and canned … Continue reading How I Would Get Through Hurricanes…
Well this has been a hell of a week! I decided to call my son on Monday night and suggest I came to pick him up. He lives in Jacksonville NC and Florence was making a bee line for him. Surprisingly he agreed without a fight so I left at 6am Tuesday morning to drive … Continue reading The Week That Was!
I was sat in my sun room in England. It was a lovely sunny afternoon. The big two kids were at school and I had a three week old baby in my arms. I'd just sat to watch the news when I fed him when up popped reports of a plane hitting one of the … Continue reading Where were you on 9/11/01?
Yup I’m gearing up to go a wandering again! Septembers jaunting takes me 300 miles or so across state to Poughkeepsie on the 21st of September in order to fly to Ireland on the 22nd to see my dad. I actually don’t arrive until the morning of the 23rd. On the 24th we’re travelling across … Continue reading Hi, Good Morning …and Póg Ma Thóin. No Hay Papel Higiénico Y Donde Esta La Luz?
I am loving being in Georgia!!* Some of the stuff people say is downright hilarious. Princess PITA and I were just in Target and there were two women in there. I was listening them seriously bitching out another woman and saying ‘Bless her heart’ as if to negate the shade throwing that followed. Apparently she … Continue reading Eavesdropping in Georgia..
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin! August 13 2018 August 13 is the 225th day of the year (226th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 140 days remaining until the end of the year. The zodiac sign for August 13 is Leo. Astrological symbol: Lion. This zodiac symbol is considered to … Continue reading August 13, 2018
I was watching TV last night and got bored so I was flicking through for something to watch. I’ve FINALLY watched every episode of NCIS and Criminal Minds so I was at a bit of a loss. I came across a movie, The Spiderwick Chronicles. I’d taken the kids to see this at the Cinema … Continue reading How To Kill A Goblin Or Piss Off Your Ex
A good Christian would forgive you - A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’ Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! - The inflation … Continue reading Tuesday Thoughts
Many years ago my parents had a country hotel. We had several animals ranging from miniature Shetland’s and Falabella’s through to a retired cart horse. We had two dogs, a three legged cat, peacocks, rare breed ducks, geese, chickens - I called them Mexican racing chickens because those little buggers never laid a single egg! … Continue reading The Emu and The MOAB (Mother Of All Britchy’s!)
Quelle surprise!! Il pleut 💦💧⛈💧💦 Le foook. ..It’s probably a judgment on me so anyone in upstate NY getting saturated today - mea culpa. Yes I’ve been a bad Britchy. After my latest prank I’m also an itchy Britchy and I feel very crawly with good reason! Read on.. Firstly I’m going to pretend I … Continue reading The Bathroom Bandit Strikes Again – ‘im Indoors Has Nothing To Go On.
Who remembers way back in the olden days - those prehistoric times when we had dial up modems - 28.8 was scorchingly fast. Windows 95 was the hot ticket, Netscape and ICQ - It was the Bronze Age Of Internet-ery and no one wanted to admit to being online as the internet was only for … Continue reading Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..
Inspiration can strike at the strangest times really. Great Ideas can come to you when you least expect it and I’ve learned opportunity seldom knocks twice. Let no shenanigans go to waste are words to live by. Ratface Wrinkle-Winkle was a man of few talents but prodigious regularity. Rainman was an amateur compared to old … Continue reading In The Still Of The Night… The Coincidence Of Night, Fright and Shite Rhyming!
We’re going on a trip in the way back machine today! Fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking whilst we prepare for Blast Off.. Sit back comfortably but don’t go to sleep because, well, things can happen in dreams and real life simultaneously. You didn’t know that? Get yourself some caffeine and I’ll explain. Farquhar … Continue reading The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..
You know the saying ‘The Devil makes work for idle hands’? Hold that thought. It’s the best alibi I’ve got. Weekday mornings when my kids were little were chaotic. I was still in England with my ex so I had two school kids, a baby, me, two kittens trying to climb up my legs and … Continue reading The Pros And Cons Of Laser Hair Removal – Or Feline Groovy..
‘im indoors had been having a bit of a grumble lately because of the heat. He doesn’t mind the heat so much as the humidity. We had a whacking great downpour this afternoon. I’d gone to Wegmans to buy stuff to make a baked cheesecake and as I was leaving it was absolutely leathering it … Continue reading Mad Dogs And (Formerly) English Women Go Out In The Midday Sun..
I took one of my Amish friends shopping on Friday.. her and her five kids under the age of seven - to Walmart and Aldi.. Yes I need my head tested Yes I deserve a medal!! That's not what this saga is about though, the subject of The Amish is a whole 'nuvver post! When … Continue reading Pie In The Sky… Or The Mysterious Case Of The Hissing Strawberries.
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
George was special from the moment he was born. I had adopted a stray who I called Prader Willi (because that cat ate EVERYTHING) She was pregnant and I was going to get her spayed when she had had her kittens. She had four kittens. One black, One black and white, one tabby and one … Continue reading The Story Of George, The Ginger Stealer Of Hearts.
I was down in NC (amongst other places) last week and I stayed with my son Fartichoke and his friends. For some obscure reason his friends love me and all have to visit every time I’m down which led to many sunrise bedtimes.. I’m getting too old for that crap! Fartichoke was telling stories of … Continue reading How I Upset EVERYONE!!
For many this is one of the most bittersweet holidays in the year. We've either lost a mother, we have kids in situations neither they or we wanted to be in or our kids are too far away or too busy to find time for us. Some of us have never been mothers, some of … Continue reading A Thought for Mothers Day
Kids have such a lovely way of both surprising and shaming us at the same time don’t they?! When mine were little, I was waiting at the school gates, as you do! My 6 year old daughter (at the time) arrived but I still had to wait for my son. At the top of her … Continue reading Kids Say The Darnedest Things!!
So I have this friend who we'll call ‘Mary Hinge’ (cos that's not her name) My girl has a bit of a disability. She's deaf. She must be. She didn't listen to my Anglo Saxon monologue warning and went and got herself married. Sentenced to life by a gold band and a big cake. Now … Continue reading Monkey Business
This post is dedicated, with much love, to.. I think you all know who you are. A lot of the amazing blogs that I follow have been posting lately about addiction and it’s effect on their lives. Mothers of addicts, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives... And it breaks my heart because the over riding emotions are … Continue reading Give Me The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 04/29/18.
Oh how delightful it is in North Carolina! I'm sat on a boat dock in 78f degrees with alligators swimming under me. I shit you not. There are five foot long alligators swimming much too close for my comfort. Maybe I should stop feeding them hush puppies but 1. I don't like hush puppies 2. … Continue reading Escape from New York
You know how it is when your kids? You think your Parents know everything. They see through every fib you tell, they know every scrap of naughtiness - heck they even know the nine times multiplication table!! The Oracle at Delphi had nothing on Parents and especially not my Dad. He saw through everything. He … Continue reading Tarzan and The Chandelier
I had a problem with money disappearing out of my purse a couple of years ago. Ten bucks here, Twenty there, it was very annoying. Apart from the obvious ‘someone was stealing’ part, I’d go to look for cash and there wouldn’t be any. If anyone had asked for the money I’d have given it … Continue reading To Catch a Rat..
I have been really good for the last few days. I haven’t scared the mailman, or pissed off next doors dog, or thrown gas-ex or condoms or any other “how did that get there?” items in anyone’s shopping cart... I haven't even slung my phone across the room when it kept misspelling what I was … Continue reading Easter Ducking About..
It was November of 2012 which you may remember, was a Presidential Election year here in the US. I hadn’t even had my green card for a year at this point but I still wanted to be a part of the Electoral Process so, I was planning to go with my husband when he went … Continue reading How Obama Broke My Bones
My youngest son, Thmellyarthe, was a very precocious reader. He was able to read first reading books at the age of three. I used to play with him as we’d be walking around the supermarket asking him to tell me when we were in aisle three,count tins of beans, find me the orange packet of … Continue reading The Coffee Table, The Ex and The Voice of Doom
I thought since it was St Patricks Day I'd share some photos of Ireland and my Grandma's recipe for Soda Bread. One of my favorite things in the world! Grandma didn’t actually use scales. She used an old tea cup to measure but I wanted to do it properly so I did as she did … Continue reading St Patrick’s Day – and how we can all have a little Irish in us!
By now you’ve probably realised, Names Are Being Changed. I’m not really Britchy - wait, yes I am - but it’s not my actual NAME!! I thought I’d better start a post where the cast was explained so here it is! I’ll add to it as more reprobates appear.. Family ’im indoors - hubby Fartichoke … Continue reading The Cast of Characters
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player! My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out. By that I mean it was a weeknight because we … Continue reading If Music be the Food of Love?
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 