..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
Sometimes I amaze even myself. Jobs I thought were commonplace are obviously rocket science and I never knew.. For example. The toilet roll needed changing. Someone got a new roll out of the cupboard and left it on the windowsill beside the toilet roll holder but didn't take the old empty roll off the spindle. … Continue reading My Super Hero Resume
George was special from the moment he was born. I had adopted a stray who I called Prader Willi (because that cat ate EVERYTHING) She was pregnant and I was going to get her spayed when she had had her kittens. She had four kittens. One black, One black and white, one tabby and one … Continue reading The Story Of George, The Ginger Stealer Of Hearts.
Scooby Doo always comes to mind when I see Mystery Blogger. This is no bad thing because I love Scooby Doo (and that counts as number one of three things about me!) I was nom-de-nom’d by none other than the Captain of Comedy, the King of Kerfuffle, the hot dog, jumping frog of Albuquerque Albuquerque … Continue reading Weird Ass Wednesdays and The Mystery Blogger
I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven't had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell. I got a call from someone overseas - you … Continue reading My Career as a Scammer Exterminator
It was November of 2012 which you may remember, was a Presidential Election year here in the US. I hadn’t even had my green card for a year at this point but I still wanted to be a part of the Electoral Process so, I was planning to go with my husband when he went … Continue reading How Obama Broke My Bones
Titselina Bumsqueak, Fat Sharon and I used to haunt The Empire in Leicester Square on Friday nights. It was a sacred tradition, a no boyfriends invited, girls night out. It was the 80’s, Pina Coladas, enough make up to paint a bridge, shoulder pads and heels so high you needed oxygen to walk in them! … Continue reading Chips, Coppers and High Heeled Croppers
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
Titselina Bumsqueak and I have a long history of laughter - way back to the last century in fact! That’s something I love saying, “last century”! It’s kind of scary when you realize this years HS graduating classes weren’t even born then - but I digress! Last time I visited TB she was still living … Continue reading Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
I don't know why I keep telling you lot all this stuff. I really don't NEED to make myself look more of an idiot now do I?! Oh well - As mentioned in other posts, the ever delightful Titselina Bumsqueak and I have been friends for over thirty years. All through the ghastly school years, … Continue reading Holy Crepe..
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 