I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven’t had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell.
I got a call from someone overseas – you could tell by the poor English and the scripted conversation.
“Hi this is David (wouldn’t you *@%#ing know it) I set you up with anti virus a few months ago do you remember?”
BAM!!! I’m in!!
“David? I thought your name was Peter”
“Yes, I’m David Peter”
Smooth – I’ll give him that. One more little check..
“So you’re from ‘theres-always-one.com’ ?”
“Yes!! You have a good memory!!”
No twat – but when you call anyone else and say where you’re from there’s a bloody good chance they’ll know you’re a lying scammer!!
So he carries on. “I just wanted to check and see how you’re getting on. I can log into your computer remotely and check its all good from here. Are you online?”
So I said no, I’d left my charger at work and my lap top was dead so he said he’d call back today….
So no surprises really. Dumvid called me back just a short while ago.
“Hi this is David, I’m calling you back about your computer”
“Oh lovely!! I’m so glad – I don’t really understand all that tinternetty stuff”
“That’s okay I can help – I just need your credit card number so I can access the software” REALLY DICKHEAD?!! I might have been born at night but it wasn’t last night!!
So I made up a CC number. I can’t remember all of it but 8675309 was in there lol (and you’re welcome for that little ear worm!!) I made up a CVV # and expiry date too and, surprise, surprise – it didn’t work.
He asked me to check the number and I said “oh no, I know it’s right. It was given to me by the FBI”
I went on to say “My country and your country are collaborating on cracking down online fraud. After you called yesterday I had the FBI put a trace on my line. The number I gave you is a reverse worm that is automatically clearing the account you are connected to and that money is being used to prosecute online scammers. They know exactly where you are so expect a visit any minute.. ”
Then he hung up on me! He went to change his trousers I expect!
Just call me MOAB 😇