My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago – one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!!
I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He laughed his head off so I thought I’d share the “good advice” he sent with you – and my take on it!!
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully….. Especially if it’s a kick up the bum or a punch in the gob.
Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other….. Marry a man who can’t talk. The less time you have to spend listening to him whine the better.
When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it….. Remember, the secret of success is sincerity and when you can fake that you have it made.
When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye….. Then punch them in it.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married….. Why buy a pig for the sake of a little sausage?
Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much….. If dreams are all they have – don’t walk, RUN!
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling….. Wallop them smack in the kisser and let them call you all the names they can.
Don’t judge people by their relatives…. Ask yourself if these are the people you want to spend your holidays with.
Talk slowly but think quickly….. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze….. And “What crawled up your arse and died?” if they fart.
Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions….. Remember the Golden Rule: What’s your’s is mine and what’s mine is mine too.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship….. Let your car or a big knife do it for you.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it….. If you can make it look like someone you hate did it instead, even better!
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice….. Luckily they can’t see hand gestures so use them all you like
Spend some time alone….. If you’re a “Dave” spend ALL your time alone.
Remember how to have fun like a child….. Don’t make snow angels in the dog park