I have got a mahooosive fridge freezer. It's wider than I'm long. It's 66"" wide, I'm 61" tall. I love it but the boys? Not so much! The problem is the doors weren't hung quite right when it was fitted. The fridge side is off slightly which causes it to reopen if you don't shut … Continue reading Fartichoke And The Revenge Of The Fridge
Getting The Story Straight..
The editor of a local paper hears about these two twins in the retirement home Harriet and Hazel who is celebrating their 102nd Birthday. He needs a feel-good story for filler so he sends down a photographer to snap some pictures. He gets there and asks the twins if he can take their picture. Harriet … Continue reading Getting The Story Straight..
This Little Light Of Mine…
Hidden. If ever there was a prompt to describe my misdeeds this is it! I knew sooner or later the opportunity to tell part two of The Light Story and here it is! You might want to read that first if you haven't. Anyway, the morning after the night before, we got up and drove … Continue reading This Little Light Of Mine…
The Elixir of Life
The Elixir of Life. Allegedly a potion that can grant immortality. Me, I don't think so. Living forever and being immortal aren't the same thing to me. I actually think living forever would be Hell. Can you imagine seeing everyone you've ever loved die? Being left on Earth alone with no one who remembers you … Continue reading The Elixir of Life
If The Founding Fathers Had Smart Phones..
I’ve been making lemon curd today. The house smells lovely. I keep the recipe in a note on my phone. I keep a lot of recipes on my phone because they’re easy to access. I keep notes on future blog posts, shopping lists, book lists - there’s no end of uses for the notes app! Whilst … Continue reading If The Founding Fathers Had Smart Phones..
If Music Be The Food Of Love..
I don’t like Mondays and today wasn't improved by a prompt I had everything and nothing to write about. The voices in my head said 'can you feel it?' So... Here I go again! I guess you could say that music was my first love. I was raised on Country but I LOVE Rock and … Continue reading If Music Be The Food Of Love..
The Power of Three
I decided to take today's Discover Prompt: Three and write about three things I've done that make me proud. Then I realised just how much I'd shot my self in the foot! Naturally as a Mum, I couldn't be prouder of my three kids. Sadly that's because of who they are, not because of anything … Continue reading The Power of Three
New Lamps For Old!
Who remembers the story where the evil magician was willing to let Aladdin have any other treasures, he just wanted the battered old lamp? He knew the real value of old over 'new' isn't always immediately apparent. That sparkly and shiny can distract from dependable and trustworthy if somewhat lacking lustre. It's the same with … Continue reading New Lamps For Old!
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
I've always had a bit of a lead foot. Why drive the speed limit if you can go twenty over kind of a thing. To be fair, I never speed on small roads, only motorways. You never know if there will be a person or an animal or a farm vehicle. Whilst living in NY … Continue reading Slow And Steady Wins The Race
Let There Be Light…. Unless The Lady Of The House Says Otherwise
It's the little things in life! That's what they say isn't it? Well, that and little things amuse little minds... Guilty As Charged M'Lud!! We completed on this house on a Friday and had to be here at 8:30am for the walkthrough. The previous owners were driving to Florida and wanted to get a wiggle … Continue reading Let There Be Light…. Unless The Lady Of The House Says Otherwise
Orchestration Of Castration Without Hospitalization
Is there a prize for the most syllables in a post title? If there is I should definitely win for this one. Sometimes my life stories have a moral to them. Other than the usual 'Never trust a smiling Britchy' or a quiet Britchy actually, or a chatty Britchy or a... yeah I think you … Continue reading Orchestration Of Castration Without Hospitalization
Now Ap-pair-ing in ‘Life’…
'Every action has an equal and opposite reaction' This is the third of Sir Isaac Newton's Laws of Physics. How kinda perfect it would have been if it was the second. It seems everything has a pair, laughter and tears, good and evil, yin and yang, night and day, Shaggy and Scooby Doo. I remember … Continue reading Now Ap-pair-ing in ‘Life’…
Take my hand..
Of all the parts of the body, to me, hands are the ones with the most meaning and least considered. If you were asked right now what body part would you least like to lose, what would you choose? Your eyes? Your voice, hearing, a leg? I can pretty much guarantee a hand wasn't the … Continue reading Take my hand..
Dish the Dirt!
If you look around you. At the grocery store, the doctors office, the swing park. In newspapers or on TV or the radio. Over the garden fence or under the boardwalk and ESPECIALLY on social media you'll find a common thread running through. It's not a pretty thread. It's a murky color and it's scratchy. … Continue reading Dish the Dirt!
Is It A Post?! Is It A Playlist?! Sing Me A Song!
Last year I wrote a Dear Ex blog post full of embedded song links. It was a lot of work! Because I’m as dumb as I look I thought I’d do it again to amuse you so, without further ado, I give you - well, a Social Distancing play list! So here I am in … Continue reading Is It A Post?! Is It A Playlist?! Sing Me A Song!
RE BLOG: 3 Things He Learned While His Plane Was Crashing And How It Changed His Life
I read this today on a site I truly enjoy, Landers 7. This is a less than 5 minute game changer. I can't tell you how this has affected me, I'm still processing it but you need to listen! This short speech might change what you live for. 3 Things He Learned While His Plane … Continue reading RE BLOG: 3 Things He Learned While His Plane Was Crashing And How It Changed His Life
Life’s a joke!!
When plotting new tricks in the kitchen, I ponder the things that I'm rich in. I have friends who share giggles, Whilst reading my squiggles Of my pranks and the reasons I'm bitchin' Today's prompt from Ben Huberman over at Discover is 'joke'. Hey Ben, I've got a prompt for you for tomorrow. Community Pool! … Continue reading Life’s a joke!!
Reboot: Join Our Discover Daily Prompts in April!
Whether you need inspiration, structure, or just a nudge to get (or regain) your blogging momentum, consider taking part in this monthlong event. Join Our Discover Daily Prompts in April!
The Best of Times in The Worst of Times.
If there's one thing I love about humanity it's the irrepressible abounding creativity in choosing to overcome trials and tribulations. Don't be fooled by carefully curated news stories designed to leave us in fear and isolation. There are more wonderful stories than you can possibly read if you alter your settings to see them. Enjoy! … Continue reading The Best of Times in The Worst of Times.
Hello from North Carolina!
Hello from North East North Carolina! I'm finally moved, still have a veritable mountain of boxes to unpack but we're currently (slowly) having a new HVAC system installed so unpacking is halted because they're running ductwork everywhere. It's slow because it's a two man team and it may be slowed further by the Dreaded Lurgy … Continue reading Hello from North Carolina!
Yet another fly by..
I'm bang smack in the middle of packing! We close on our new house on the 24th and then I'm moving down on the 3rd. Well, going down, then back to NY and back to NC again! I don't know about air miles, I'd make my fortune on swear miles right now! Hopefully I'll be … Continue reading Yet another fly by..
Thanksgiving: The Aftermath
I’m still flat on the sofa. A victim of postprandial somnolence after yesterday’s relentless feasting. I glad I’m not by the ocean or I’d have Greenpeace on one side and a Japanese Whaler on the other. Yes, I really did eat THAT MUCH!! There were only three of us this year but that didn’t stop … Continue reading Thanksgiving: The Aftermath
Asking For A Friend…
Is it bad that I saw this on LinkedIn and had to sign out so I couldn’t type ‘They know their shit at shinola’?? #nohomonday #nomorebringahoday #hofreeworkplace #whowantstoworkfornohosanyway #judgementalprudes #cantremembermypasswordnow #lockedoutoflinkedin #luckylinkedin
November, Month Of The Damned..
Snow in November is caused by people decorating for Christmas too early. This is known as Premature Precipitation. You’ll know if you’ve been Prematurely Precipitated if you are suddenly covered in white stuff. With Premature Precipitation you can never know how long it will last or how many inches you’ll get. There is a very … Continue reading November, Month Of The Damned..
Did you miss me?!
Taughannock Falls, NY 2019 Gosh it's been a crazy couple of months. I haven't had time to read never mind think. Something had to give as I was extremely overloaded. Princess PITA's spinal surgery and her subsequent terrifying pulmonary embolism. Trying to get a house ready to sell and finally getting it on the market … Continue reading Did you miss me?!
My daughter had to have emergency back surgery so I'm down in Georgia looking after her and Thumper. I didn't bring my laptop and time is very tight but I'll be back to normal next week!
Self Examination Alzheimer’s Test….
I must admit that at my age...I started to think about this. It was very reassuring to take this quick test and know this ...I'm good! If you are over 40 yrs old, you absolutely SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test Scroll on.. How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ … Continue reading Self Examination Alzheimer’s Test….
How Does Your Garden Grow?
I’m down in Poughkeepsie and we’re working on the garden so we can sell this house and move on to the next step of our lives. It’s a lovely house, it’s in a fantastic neighbourhood surrounded by trees and were being serenaded by a thousand birds. Scarlet Cardinals are swooping past hoping to snag a … Continue reading How Does Your Garden Grow?
Just a quickie..
So I've had three big days in a row and time has escaped me. Monday I had a training day at work (almost total twatwaffle but hey, it was a day out of the office!) It was kind of interesting though so there's a post coming out of that. Tuesday I had my Notary Public … Continue reading Just a quickie..
Well – How Did THAT Happen?!
Weird things I’ve rehomed ... or misappropriated if you believe in the police report fairy.. In my defence, it was justifiable retribution! Details will follow after I double check the statute of limitations and the fifth amendment. •The HT leads off a Ford tractor (Ireland) •Several car aerials (all from bastards) •Garden gnomes (postcards were … Continue reading Well – How Did THAT Happen?!
Never kiss frogs. They might turn into a handsome prince and who’s got time for that shit? Being married to a "Dave" means leaving this world the way you came into it.. Screaming and covered in someone else's blood... Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, Happen! Don't put a stupid look on my face and … Continue reading Saturday Thoughts…
… That Time I Failed As A Parent..
We all try our best at parenting. Some times we get it right. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we feel like we got it right but later, way down the line we’ll, we realise.. maybe not. This is one such incident. I have a funny story from when my daughter was little. She was 5 or … Continue reading … That Time I Failed As A Parent..
Well, Son of A Beech…
Swearing or NOT Swearing - A Load Of Old Shit? I over heard a child swearing in Wegmans today. I really should thank Wegmans sometime. There's a large portion of my posts that exist solely because of interactions therein! Anyway. The little boy must've been about two. He was sitting in the cart while his … Continue reading Well, Son of A Beech…
Thinking Out Loud On Mother’s Day
Today is Mother's Day in the US. I'm sat by myself. One kid is in Georgia. One is in North Carolina and one is in bed. 'im indoors is across state prepping our other house for sale and I'm on the sofa with two fat cats, a farting beagle and a 10lb chupacapra who is … Continue reading Thinking Out Loud On Mother’s Day
The Wanderer Returns
Hello everyone The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. I've dealt with crippling migraines, ongoing eyeball sagas, pneumonia and pleurisy, selling a house or rather, preparing to sell it, theft, disloyalty/betrayal, grief - I needed to retreat. I will be talking more about those but I needed time and distance from events first. I … Continue reading The Wanderer Returns
Sneakin’ in the back Door..
Hi everyone, Sorry for the hiatus, it was much needed. I had a plate full of stress with health worries, migraines out the wazoo and not being allowed migraine meds. Worries about MRIs etc and family issues and then the straw that broke the camels back - the resurgence of Doolally Doris, the ugliest cyber … Continue reading Sneakin’ in the back Door..
Ask me anything!
I’m reblogging this so that if you have questions, you don’t forget to ask them!
A couple of months ago I followed Bottomless Coffee’slead and invited questions from all of you. You can read that here.
That was a lot of fun and I thought it would be nice to do it again so, leave a comment with any questions you would like to ask me! You can ask as many or as few questions as you want
I’ll leave this open until Sunday morning and then I’ll post answers on Monday… Fire away!
Ask me anything!
A couple of months ago I followed Bottomless Coffee’s lead and invited questions from all of you. You can read that here. That was a lot of fun and I thought it would be nice to do it again so, leave a comment with any questions you would like to ask me! You can ask … Continue reading Ask me anything!
Milo and the Kitty Nuggets
It's not just humans who are obsessed with sprinkles. Evidently Fat Farting Beagles are easily seduced by them too. I've just yelled at the Poopmeister because, as you can see, he was caught in the act. Snacking in the litter box. Dirty little shiteater - pffft! He has the audacity to look affronted at the … Continue reading Milo and the Kitty Nuggets
Day 23 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
Happy Christmas Eve! It’s mental here, I’m trying to catch up from losing a day yesterday. Lots to do. Anyway!! Today’s prompt ‘A song everyone should listen to’ I love this song. It’s resonated with me all my life and I find it inspirational and motivational as well as just enjoying listening. I usually go … Continue reading Day 23 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
This may just be one of the most perfect stories I’ve ever read. If I can ask one thing of you, it’s please read this. It’s a life changer in the best way
At the grocery store this week, a woman dropped a box of blueberries. They went everywhere. She was too old to pick them up, and people up and down the aisles just stopped and stared. I just stopped and stared. Her trembling voice, shouting “Cleanup—I need a cleanup!” Embarrassed. Close to tears. Fucking blueberries. All of us staring at blueberries. A two minute pick up job. Less if others help. But we don’t. We just stare, and argue with ourselves.
After a good minute or two of arguing, I deduce that I’m a complete and utter asshole, and put down my basket. Pick up the blueberries. Feel like an absolute idiot as my left palm fills and I have no space for all the rest.
Now it’s my trembling voice, weakly shouting “Anyone have a bag?”
People stare. They keep staring. The line six carts deep. Everyone watching. No one…
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‘‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…”
Here, if needed, is proof of why I should NEVER be left to my own devices.. I've tried to add as many bloggers as possible. If I follow you and you're not here thank your lucky stars it's because I ran out of original sin!! ‘Twas The Blog before Christmas And throughout WordPress Not a … Continue reading ‘‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…”
Reader Request Friday’s
Last week Bottomless Coffee ran a question and answer session which was a lot of fun. He challenged those of us who asked questions to allow our readers the same opportunity - so I did! Here are the questions I was asked and my answers to them. If you asked me questions or even if … Continue reading Reader Request Friday’s
What Do You Want To Know?!
In keeping with Rakkelle and Bottomless Coffee I’ve decided to stick with the ‘Ask me anything’ theme. Let’s see where it goes!
You can ask any questions here in the comments section between now and Thursday and I’ll answer them on Friday – here goes nothing!!
Headlines You May Have Missed
I read this post from a blog I thoroughly enjoy, Mitch Teemley. I hope you enjoy a fun Saturday chuckle!
We’ve all been so busy with world news and politics lately that we’ve missed a lot of other important stories. No worries, I’m here to catch you up (you’re welcome).
Blogging On The Bathroom Wall
I stole this from Melanie at Sparks From A Combustible Mind and it looked like fun! Feel free to join in! 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I love it. I have found I prefer 'whiter' blue cheese like Danish to 'yellowy' blue cheese like Stilton though. I adore Stilton soup and white Stilton with … Continue reading Blogging On The Bathroom Wall
Esther’s weekly challenge is to write something on the subject of favourite songs, music or artists so without further ado, my playlist.. I know I once said that I’m yours... and I was - for the longest time but guess what Mr. Know-It-All? SO WHAT?! You’ve been talking in your sleep about your new Dark … Continue reading Dear Ex…
A Remorseful Tale of Repurpose, Repaint, Regret.. and Replace!!
It’s Thursday and I’m busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. Rebloggng this and crossing fingers I have more time later!!
Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram – you all have a lot to answer for!
Oh and you all SUCK!!
I’m not one of Mother Nature’s natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap it on the walls for good measure. I enjoy it though – so what the hell if I use three cans where one would do?! The REAL expense involved in decorating for me is all the bloody bubble bath and hot water I get through!
I bought a mahoghany color (pretty damn sure it wasn’t real mahogany for $20) china cabinet on Ebay. I believed all the hype that any dummy could upcycle and planned on titivating the flipping thing “a la Pinterest etc” The project was painting it with an off white semi gloss…
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Going Head To Head With Florence
My son lives in Jacksonville, North Carolina which is directly bang smack in the middle of Florence's path... so I'm heading down to pick him up and bring him back here to NY first thing. I will check in with bulletins as opposed to proper posts but it's going to be as immediate a turn … Continue reading Going Head To Head With Florence
Tech Tip for Writers #127: Back up Your Blog!
What would you do if WordPress crashed and your blog was lost?
Here is some EXCELLENT advice we should all be following! I know I will!
Tech Tips for Writers is an occasional post on overcoming Tech Dread. I’ll cover issues that friends, both real-time and virtual, have shared. Feel free to post a comment about a question you have. I’ll cover it in a future Tip.
Q: I’m paranoid of losing my writing projects and family pictures so I back them up to an external drive, a flash drive, and in the cloud. My blog, though–It’s become an important cog in my PLN. If it blew up, I’d be lost. What do I do about backing it up?
A: If you use WordPress, it’s easy, they provide a native tool for that. Here’s what you do:
- Go to Tools>Export
- Select the ‘Export‘ option
- It’ll back it up as an XML file (you don’t have to understand what that is. Just know it’s the file that will save you if WordPress crashes)
- Save that…
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Hanging Out In The.. Fridge??
Of all the life advice I can give - don’t wear shoes in the fridge probably isn’t necessary for anyone but me... Welcome to the daily insanity brought to you today by ...well who else do you think of when the sentence has ‘insanity’ in it?! This incident occurred before the washing machine incident. You’d … Continue reading Hanging Out In The.. Fridge??
Finish The Story #11
Welcome to Finish the Story The Haunted Wordsmith will start a story, then another has to pick up the story and add to it, then hand it off to another person, etc. until the story is complete. This has proven to be quite fun in a blogging situation since we all have different approaches. Rules– … Continue reading Finish The Story #11
Finish The Story #7
I was tagged by Rory, The Guy Called Bloke to take part in a challenge started by Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith She started the story, then another blogger had to carry on telling the story and then tag another person to continue until the story is complete. Anyone can be the one to finish it. … Continue reading Finish The Story #7
Lookee, Lookee At Who Got Lucky!!
I'm so lucky! I actually won a prize for signing up for something for the first time ever! The lovely Jane at Jane Ridgewood created a lovely giveaway to launch her #readwithJane book club and Etsy store which you can read more about here Read With Jane I received my prize yesterday (with super fast … Continue reading Lookee, Lookee At Who Got Lucky!!
Advice – Britchy Style!!
It’s Thursday and you know what that means don’t you?! Second hand posts! Pre loved, gently used, here’s one from my first month of blogging …
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago – one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!!
I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He laughed his head off so I thought I’d share the “good advice” he sent with you – and my take on it!!
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully….. Especially if it’s a kick up the bum or a punch in the gob.
Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other….. Marry a man who can’t talk. The less time you have to spend listening to him whine the better.
When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean…
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Why Do We Need To Let Other People Own Their Feelings?
This isn’t my work – I’m reblogging this post from another blogger because I find it so relatable and I know a lot of you are going to read this nodding your heads in agreement too.
You’re about to send an email and you’re re-reading it for the tenth time to make absolutely sure there’s nothing in it that could be misconstrued and cause offence. Then you check it another ten times after you’ve sent it – just in case…
You bump into a friend in the street. As you walk away, you replay the conversation over and over in your head trying to work out if you said anything “wrong”. You’re still rerunning the conversation in your head as you lie in bed that night…
A work colleague seems a bit off with you. You instantly rack your brain to recall your most recent interactions with them. You spend the day desperately trying to work out what you did to upset them so you can apologise and make things right…
On the whole, people with emotion-driven overeating issues are a sensitive bunch. We…
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Everything You Never Wanted To Know – The In’s And Out’s Of A Ducks Arse
I was challenged by A Guy Called Bloke to take part in a new challenge, The Friday Funday Challenge – Game On – You Name It! Or, as I'm calling it "Everything You Never Wanted To Know - The In's And Out's Of A Ducks Arse" Here's how he described it: We all like a … Continue reading Everything You Never Wanted To Know – The In’s And Out’s Of A Ducks Arse
Pop Rocks Part.. Number Two..
And here we are again. Throw Back Thursday.. Where has this week GONE?! We’re rapidly sliding into July and all the fun that goes with the 4th – I can’t wait! While we’re waiting, I hope you enjoy this tale of mayhem at Casa Del Britchy!!
You’d think I’d be banned from buying pop rocks after the Beirut Buns Incident but no.. So, as you’d expect, I bought more!
I couldn’t think what to do with them. It was a little upsetting. No kids at home at the moment, it’s just me and ‘im indoors. And the animals. The two cats. Specifically Prader Willi and HellBoy.
Both cats are indoors only. Both were from feral mothers and both have FIV. They have a very pampered life and frankly, the fat little porkers are severely obese (but we don’t say that out loud as it hurts ‘im indoors feelings)
It’s a challenge at times to get these two sedentary shit machines to exercise. The laser pen, bits of string, wind up mice… even my blood curdling screams barely get them to raise an eye lid. This is particularly upsetting as I’m very proud of my…
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Having Coffee With Hermione Granger
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this interview. It was delightful. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
I’d spoken to Ms. Granger’s secretary to arrange the meeting with her. I’d been a little dubious about the phone number I’d been given to call – I didn’t think wizards and witches had phones – but nonetheless it had connected and I’d spoken to a very kind gentleman on the other end. He’d requested that I would swing by to her office, as it was improbable that she would have time to step away, being as busy as she was. I agreed, because I would do whatever it took to have coffee with one of the most famous literary figures in existence.
I had been given rather odd instructions about heading to a phone box in a rather run down area of London. Not being from the capital it took me a while to find it (I got off one tube stop too early and had to walk further…
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Callously Ended – An unkind poem.
As you all know, I’m not much of a poetry lover. I am however a huge fan of Dorothy Parker, Noel Coward and Kristian. I defy you to read this without imagining a Noel Coward play with Fred Astaire. Kristian has a phenomenal talent for just about any genre and I didn’t think he could surprise me any more. I expect excellence from him – I didn’t expect this and I’m honestly thrilled
Tales from the mind of Kristian
This is an unkind poem inspired by the prompt words:
Word of the Day: Dalliance
Three things Challenge: Puffer Fish, Soul, Staring
This is not a reflection of my character and I hope no one ever says anything this unkind to you.
So you thought this was love?
Good heavens above!
But I never said it was so.
It was just a dalliance
a one off alliance
now it’s time for you to go.
OK, so I’m cold
and callous, unfeeling
Maybe I just have no Soul
I never promised you more,
you’re being a bore,
I never wanted that role.
You got it all wrong,
You need to be strong
You really need to let go.
Stop staring at me
now you’ve paid your fee
make like a puffer fishand blow.
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 21/June/2018
The Many Uses of Lipstick – Or The Price of Revenge…
It’s Thursday so time for a throwback to a time when, well, I may NOT have been the perfect little angel I am now…
You know how it is with serendipity don’t you?!
Once I filed for divorce, my ex, Farquhar Barstardcelot, morphed into an even more complete bastard. He has this marvelous idea that I should stay home and look after the kids while he did his studly thing fornicating around the web and then we should get back together in 10-15 years – once the kids have left home.
Can anyone say go forth and multiply?!
Honestly, if I’d known he could be that funny before I filed.. yeah NO!
Farquhar had pulled stunts that are beyond audacious but – every dog has it’s day and it was mine.
The kids had a play date AT SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE! Not mine for once and holy debit cards – I could go shopping! On my own!! No flippin’ ankle-snappers!
I had a lovely time, no whining, no tale-telling.. no losing kids and for…
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Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
The Pint and The Pickle
Here we are on Throw Back Thursday with a Public Service Announcement – if you ever meet a man with a green dilly dangler.. run!!
Some of you may have read the Ladeez night story and wondered what happened to Titselina Bumsqueak’s ex. We fixed Fat Sharon but what about TB’s ex? Percy Pickle?
They say confession is good for the soul – well… I guess it’s time for a spot of spiritual harmony!
So where did we leave off? Pretty much with the scant info that Fat Sharon had been playing “hide the sausage” with TB’s boyfriend, Percy Pickle.
Obviously our first instinct was to wallop him with a baseball bat. However, frankly, there isn’t enough cake in the world to give us the calories we’d have expended on doing the job right.
Time for Plan B.
B for Bitches heh, heh.
We decided we’d give him a night to remember so the three of us headed out to the pub. We’d deliberately planned it so he left his car at home and TB…
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Things I want my kids to know..
It’s TBT and time for me to do the green thing and regurgitate one of my old posts! I hope you enjoy 😊
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement… not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes.
I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again so here it is.
An ongoing list in no particular order .. but a start..
Be wary of any group, political party, religion, or individual who claim’s to have all the answers. No one has all the answers. People who make these statements will only lead you into trouble. Anything you can’t question, or can’t get an answer to – isn’t right.
Learn about the world. School will give you limited information, with most of it slanted towards the teachers beliefs. Always look for more information, the opposite view. Structure your opinion on YOUR conclusions…
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3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
There’s a new Challenge in town!! 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke Here’s what he has to say about it: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and … Continue reading 3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
The Out Patient Appointment..
It’s TBT and here’s a trip back to London and yet another of my infamous run ins with Doctors…
Growing up under the NHS in London was great. Until it wasn’t.
Raging Despots of Doctors receptionists. Doctors with God complex’s. Nurses who idolised the piggin’ idiots and made them even more delusional if possible!
Oh and let’s not forget the ever present cup of tea. I’m quite sure they even stopped operations for surgeons to have their tea break!
It all climaxed with us, the patients being a bit of a bloody nuisance if anything. I definitely felt treated as a convenience or tool of the trade by some.
This resulted in some embarrassing situations! As I got older, there were more toe curling episodes for them as I grew into my attitude but as a young girl, well – if we’re telling embarassing stories here goes.. it’s hard to pick just one isn’t it?!
When I was 19 I had to see a specialist for “Wimmins problems” and…
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Axis of Evil Cupcakes.
It’s TBT so I’m sharing one of my pre dawn posts with you all. Happy one-more-day-until-the-weekend!!
Welcome to the latest round of The Bitchy One’s “You-Couldn’t-Make-This-Shit-Up..”
I was back in England visiting my best friend and I’d gone shopping.
While I was walking around in town I went into a sweet shop (candy store) to buy a curly wurly.
I decided I could indulge myself!
They had all kinds of retro sweets and I bought some shrimps, black jacks and fruit salads too so it was lovely!
Then it all started to go wrong.
Horribly, horribly wrong.
I saw packets of Space Dust.
Also known as Pop Rocks.
Remember that stuff?
You could put a few crystals on your tongue and it would pop and blast your teeth?!
I remember my brother pouring a whole packet into his mouth and screaming like he’d burst his bloody ear drums!!
But I disgress (nothing new there now is there?!)
I had a brainwave.
It probably wouldn’t…
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My 3 Month Blogiversary and Ferrero Rocher Cake!
Today is my 3 month blogiversary - or blirthday if you will! I started this blog on February 1st 2018 and it seems like just yesterday and at the same time, much longer since I started this debacle! I'm in awe of my followers and really appreciate all of you. I am STUNNED that I've … Continue reading My 3 Month Blogiversary and Ferrero Rocher Cake!
Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
Things were going entirely too well round here. It had been days or at least hours since my last mortification - I should have known it couldn't last!! It was a "lovely" day today. Temps reached the heady heights of 58F (14C) here in the frozen Norf. I almost discarded one of my three pairs … Continue reading Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
If Music be the Food of Love?
I’m having a throw back Thursday and reblogging a post frombefore I had any followers 😊
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross
Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player!
My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out.
By that I mean it was a weeknight because we were out seven nights a week!
Anyway we were home by 3am and in my room having an autopsy of the night.
….Why she danced with THAT minger.
….Why I let creepy guy buy us both a drink.
….Why we both had to climb out the toilet window AGAIN!
Not an unusual occurrence for us!
Actually a few years ago they were knocking one of our favorite haunts on the Old Kent Road in London.
I was very tempted to ask the builders for the toilet window for old times sake but wasn’t sure if…
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The Joy of Sex – or How to Get Clucked by Your Healthcare Plan.
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth, Boil and bubble I’m really not too sure about these generic meds under Obamacare... I have a dreadful attitude towards doctors. According … Continue reading The Joy of Sex – or How to Get Clucked by Your Healthcare Plan.
Well lookeee here!!
In case you ever wonder just how much rubbish one woman can talk... THIS MUCH!!
A Dead Man Walking – Ten Bloggers Tell a Tale..
This story is a group effort. Denny and Em decided to write a chain story and invite others to join in so, with no ideas of what story we would write, I jumped! 10 different bloggers worked on this, me included. Everyone took the story a little further while trying to keep it in line … Continue reading A Dead Man Walking – Ten Bloggers Tell a Tale..
The Spectacular Song Off!!
Many thanks to A Guy Called Bloke for nominating me for this challenge, I’m going to enjoy this!! This challenge was created by TinTins and it’s a lot of fun The Rules: • Choose a song that beats the nominators choice…doesn’t matter if its a cover, its about performance, lyrics and feeling the groove! Name … Continue reading The Spectacular Song Off!!
Recommended Blog of the Day 04/05/18
I decided I wanted to create my own form of recognition. Not linked to anyone else’s rules. Not one that requires the recipient to do anything. Just something from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment and empathy I’ve come to expect. I intend posting these recommendations twice a … Continue reading Recommended Blog of the Day 04/05/18
Song Off Music Challenge!!
🎶 Welcome to the Song Off 🎶 Okay Everyone, I think you’ve probably all worked out by now that I’m NEVER one to resist a challenge!! ( yes I probably would jump off a cliff if dared - I’ve fallen off one in Cornwall before!) This challenge was invented by the inimitable Swerve with help … Continue reading Song Off Music Challenge!!
3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge. Day 3
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge. Day 3
Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
Sandwiches, Shoe Polish and Schaden Freude
Tonight I asked ‘im indoors what he wanted to take to work for his lunch tomorrow. “Oh ....anything” he said offhandedly. I was quite peeved by this but - I had a golden moment. One of those moments where instead of going ballistic faster than the speed of light I actually stopped myself - and … Continue reading Sandwiches, Shoe Polish and Schaden Freude
Let’s play TMI Tag!!
Here’s a little fun game, just for the hell of it!! You don’t have to play along, but I tagged you because I’d like to see your answers! I was tagged by Floating Gold - enjoy, your Royal shiny-ness!! RULES: • Acknowledge the person who nominated you. • Answer the questions. • Nominate other bloggers … Continue reading Let’s play TMI Tag!!
The LIEBSTER Award
I’m absolutely thrilled to have been nominated for the LIEBSTER award! Why??? You ask Because I get to share some of my ever growing lists of blogs that inspire, educate and entertain me. I was thrilled to be nominated by Becca at From My Lofty Hill. She has a fascinating blog about homesteading in Belize. … Continue reading The LIEBSTER Award
Advice – Britchy Style!!
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago - one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!! I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He … Continue reading Advice – Britchy Style!!
Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
Titselina Bumsqueak and I have a long history of laughter - way back to the last century in fact! That’s something I love saying, “last century”! It’s kind of scary when you realize this years HS graduating classes weren’t even born then - but I digress! Last time I visited TB she was still living … Continue reading Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
The Ho-Er at Moher..
Although I was born and raised in England, I spent large portions of my life in Ireland. My parents moved there and built a house when they retired so that’s where I go to visit my Dad these days. My Dad has always been somewhat deaf but it’s worsened with age to the point where … Continue reading The Ho-Er at Moher..
The Lunatics are Taking Over The Asylum..
Many years ago, when I was still living in England, I worked for Her Majesty’s Prison Service. I was a clerical officer and dealt with a wide range of services from Throughcare, Prisoners wages and Education to my main role which was Discipline. Yes I was a Discipline Administrative Officer in an all male prison! … Continue reading The Lunatics are Taking Over The Asylum..
The Sunshine Blogger Award
I got another fun nomination! The Sunshine Blogger Award. Apparently this is given to blogs who are “creative, optimistic and inspiring, while spreading sunshine to the blogging community”. And me. The aspect of these awards I’m most thrilled about is that it gives me the chance to share blogs I’ve grown attached to and even … Continue reading The Sunshine Blogger Award
A Book Challenge
After reading this, I challenge you to think of a list of books that have made a difference to you. It’s up to you if you explain why or not but it’s a very pleasurable exercise reminding yourself of all your book loves! The hardship for me wasn’t in starting but in stopping. This doesn’t … Continue reading A Book Challenge
Things I want my kids to know..
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement... not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes. I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again … Continue reading Things I want my kids to know..
‘E gets it frum ‘is muvver…
Kids say the damndest things don't they?! I just found an email I sent to ‘im indoors in 2007. It was a transcript of a conversation my kids had just had. At the time they would have been 12, 11 and 6. So my second child, Fartichoke is watching the Simpsons (grrrr...) My youngest, Thmellyarthe, … Continue reading ‘E gets it frum ‘is muvver…
So here we are..
Well this is a bit strange..