Weird things I’ve rehomed ... or misappropriated if you believe in the police report fairy.. In my defence, it was justifiable retribution! Details will follow after I double check the statute of limitations and the fifth amendment. •The HT leads off a Ford tractor (Ireland) •Several car aerials (all from bastards) •Garden gnomes (postcards were … Continue reading Well – How Did THAT Happen?!
Never kiss frogs. They might turn into a handsome prince and who’s got time for that shit? Being married to a "Dave" means leaving this world the way you came into it.. Screaming and covered in someone else's blood... Dear Sneeze, if you're gonna happen, Happen! Don't put a stupid look on my face and … Continue reading Saturday Thoughts…
We all try our best at parenting. Some times we get it right. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we feel like we got it right but later, way down the line we’ll, we realise.. maybe not. This is one such incident. I have a funny story from when my daughter was little. She was 5 or … Continue reading … That Time I Failed As A Parent..
Swearing or NOT Swearing - A Load Of Old Shit? I over heard a child swearing in Wegmans today. I really should thank Wegmans sometime. There's a large portion of my posts that exist solely because of interactions therein! Anyway. The little boy must've been about two. He was sitting in the cart while his … Continue reading Well, Son of A Beech…
Today is Mother's Day in the US. I'm sat by myself. One kid is in Georgia. One is in North Carolina and one is in bed. 'im indoors is across state prepping our other house for sale and I'm on the sofa with two fat cats, a farting beagle and a 10lb chupacapra who is … Continue reading Thinking Out Loud On Mother’s Day
Hello everyone The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. I've dealt with crippling migraines, ongoing eyeball sagas, pneumonia and pleurisy, selling a house or rather, preparing to sell it, theft, disloyalty/betrayal, grief - I needed to retreat. I will be talking more about those but I needed time and distance from events first. I … Continue reading The Wanderer Returns
Hi everyone, Sorry for the hiatus, it was much needed. I had a plate full of stress with health worries, migraines out the wazoo and not being allowed migraine meds. Worries about MRIs etc and family issues and then the straw that broke the camels back - the resurgence of Doolally Doris, the ugliest cyber … Continue reading Sneakin’ in the back Door..
I’m reblogging this so that if you have questions, you don’t forget to ask them!
That was a lot of fun and I thought it would be nice to do it again so, leave a comment with any questions you would like to ask me! You can ask as many or as few questions as you want
I’ll leave this open until Sunday morning and then I’ll post answers on Monday… Fire away!
A couple of months ago I followed Bottomless Coffee’s lead and invited questions from all of you. You can read that here. That was a lot of fun and I thought it would be nice to do it again so, leave a comment with any questions you would like to ask me! You can ask … Continue reading Ask me anything!
It's not just humans who are obsessed with sprinkles. Evidently Fat Farting Beagles are easily seduced by them too. I've just yelled at the Poopmeister because, as you can see, he was caught in the act. Snacking in the litter box. Dirty little shiteater - pffft! He has the audacity to look affronted at the … Continue reading Milo and the Kitty Nuggets
Happy Christmas Eve! It’s mental here, I’m trying to catch up from losing a day yesterday. Lots to do. Anyway!! Today’s prompt ‘A song everyone should listen to’ I love this song. It’s resonated with me all my life and I find it inspirational and motivational as well as just enjoying listening. I usually go … Continue reading Day 23 On The Magical Musical Advent Calendar
This may just be one of the most perfect stories I’ve ever read. If I can ask one thing of you, it’s please read this. It’s a life changer in the best way
At the grocery store this week, a woman dropped a box of blueberries. They went everywhere. She was too old to pick them up, and people up and down the aisles just stopped and stared. I just stopped and stared. Her trembling voice, shouting “Cleanup—I need a cleanup!” Embarrassed. Close to tears. Fucking blueberries. All of us staring at blueberries. A two minute pick up job. Less if others help. But we don’t. We just stare, and argue with ourselves.
After a good minute or two of arguing, I deduce that I’m a complete and utter asshole, and put down my basket. Pick up the blueberries. Feel like an absolute idiot as my left palm fills and I have no space for all the rest.
Now it’s my trembling voice, weakly shouting “Anyone have a bag?”
People stare. They keep staring. The line six carts deep. Everyone watching. No one…
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Here, if needed, is proof of why I should NEVER be left to my own devices.. I've tried to add as many bloggers as possible. If I follow you and you're not here thank your lucky stars it's because I ran out of original sin!! ‘Twas The Blog before Christmas And throughout WordPress Not a … Continue reading ‘‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…”
Last week Bottomless Coffee ran a question and answer session which was a lot of fun. He challenged those of us who asked questions to allow our readers the same opportunity - so I did! Here are the questions I was asked and my answers to them. If you asked me questions or even if … Continue reading Reader Request Friday’s
You can ask any questions here in the comments section between now and Thursday and I’ll answer them on Friday – here goes nothing!!
I read this post from a blog I thoroughly enjoy, Mitch Teemley. I hope you enjoy a fun Saturday chuckle!
I stole this from Melanie at Sparks From A Combustible Mind and it looked like fun! Feel free to join in! 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes I love it. I have found I prefer 'whiter' blue cheese like Danish to 'yellowy' blue cheese like Stilton though. I adore Stilton soup and white Stilton with … Continue reading Blogging On The Bathroom Wall
Esther’s weekly challenge is to write something on the subject of favourite songs, music or artists so without further ado, my playlist.. I know I once said that I’m yours... and I was - for the longest time but guess what Mr. Know-It-All? SO WHAT?! You’ve been talking in your sleep about your new Dark … Continue reading Dear Ex…
It’s Thursday and I’m busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. Rebloggng this and crossing fingers I have more time later!!
Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram – you all have a lot to answer for!
Oh and you all SUCK!!
I’m not one of Mother Nature’s natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap it on the walls for good measure. I enjoy it though – so what the hell if I use three cans where one would do?! The REAL expense involved in decorating for me is all the bloody bubble bath and hot water I get through!
I bought a mahoghany color (pretty damn sure it wasn’t real mahogany for $20) china cabinet on Ebay. I believed all the hype that any dummy could upcycle and planned on titivating the flipping thing “a la Pinterest etc” The project was painting it with an off white semi gloss…
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My son lives in Jacksonville, North Carolina which is directly bang smack in the middle of Florence's path... so I'm heading down to pick him up and bring him back here to NY first thing. I will check in with bulletins as opposed to proper posts but it's going to be as immediate a turn … Continue reading Going Head To Head With Florence
What would you do if WordPress crashed and your blog was lost?
Here is some EXCELLENT advice we should all be following! I know I will!
Tech Tips for Writers is an occasional post on overcoming Tech Dread. I’ll cover issues that friends, both real-time and virtual, have shared. Feel free to post a comment about a question you have. I’ll cover it in a future Tip.
Q: I’m paranoid of losing my writing projects and family pictures so I back them up to an external drive, a flash drive, and in the cloud. My blog, though–It’s become an important cog in my PLN. If it blew up, I’d be lost. What do I do about backing it up?
A: If you use WordPress, it’s easy, they provide a native tool for that. Here’s what you do:
- Go to Tools>Export
- Select the ‘Export‘ option
- It’ll back it up as an XML file (you don’t have to understand what that is. Just know it’s the file that will save you if WordPress crashes)
- Save that…
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Of all the life advice I can give - don’t wear shoes in the fridge probably isn’t necessary for anyone but me... Welcome to the daily insanity brought to you today by ...well who else do you think of when the sentence has ‘insanity’ in it?! This incident occurred before the washing machine incident. You’d … Continue reading Hanging Out In The.. Fridge??
Welcome to Finish the Story The Haunted Wordsmith will start a story, then another has to pick up the story and add to it, then hand it off to another person, etc. until the story is complete. This has proven to be quite fun in a blogging situation since we all have different approaches. Rules– … Continue reading Finish The Story #11
I was tagged by Rory, The Guy Called Bloke to take part in a challenge started by Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith She started the story, then another blogger had to carry on telling the story and then tag another person to continue until the story is complete. Anyone can be the one to finish it. … Continue reading Finish The Story #7
I'm so lucky! I actually won a prize for signing up for something for the first time ever! The lovely Jane at Jane Ridgewood created a lovely giveaway to launch her #readwithJane book club and Etsy store which you can read more about here Read With Jane I received my prize yesterday (with super fast … Continue reading Lookee, Lookee At Who Got Lucky!!
It’s Thursday and you know what that means don’t you?! Second hand posts! Pre loved, gently used, here’s one from my first month of blogging …
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago – one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!!
I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He laughed his head off so I thought I’d share the “good advice” he sent with you – and my take on it!!
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully….. Especially if it’s a kick up the bum or a punch in the gob.
Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other….. Marry a man who can’t talk. The less time you have to spend listening to him whine the better.
When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean…
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This isn’t my work – I’m reblogging this post from another blogger because I find it so relatable and I know a lot of you are going to read this nodding your heads in agreement too.
You’re about to send an email and you’re re-reading it for the tenth time to make absolutely sure there’s nothing in it that could be misconstrued and cause offence. Then you check it another ten times after you’ve sent it – just in case…
You bump into a friend in the street. As you walk away, you replay the conversation over and over in your head trying to work out if you said anything “wrong”. You’re still rerunning the conversation in your head as you lie in bed that night…
A work colleague seems a bit off with you. You instantly rack your brain to recall your most recent interactions with them. You spend the day desperately trying to work out what you did to upset them so you can apologise and make things right…
On the whole, people with emotion-driven overeating issues are a sensitive bunch. We…
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I was challenged by A Guy Called Bloke to take part in a new challenge, The Friday Funday Challenge – Game On – You Name It! Or, as I'm calling it "Everything You Never Wanted To Know - The In's And Out's Of A Ducks Arse" Here's how he described it: We all like a … Continue reading Everything You Never Wanted To Know – The In’s And Out’s Of A Ducks Arse
And here we are again. Throw Back Thursday.. Where has this week GONE?! We’re rapidly sliding into July and all the fun that goes with the 4th – I can’t wait! While we’re waiting, I hope you enjoy this tale of mayhem at Casa Del Britchy!!
You’d think I’d be banned from buying pop rocks after the Beirut Buns Incident but no.. So, as you’d expect, I bought more!
I couldn’t think what to do with them. It was a little upsetting. No kids at home at the moment, it’s just me and ‘im indoors. And the animals. The two cats. Specifically Prader Willi and HellBoy.
Both cats are indoors only. Both were from feral mothers and both have FIV. They have a very pampered life and frankly, the fat little porkers are severely obese (but we don’t say that out loud as it hurts ‘im indoors feelings)
It’s a challenge at times to get these two sedentary shit machines to exercise. The laser pen, bits of string, wind up mice… even my blood curdling screams barely get them to raise an eye lid. This is particularly upsetting as I’m very proud of my…
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I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this interview. It was delightful. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
I’d spoken to Ms. Granger’s secretary to arrange the meeting with her. I’d been a little dubious about the phone number I’d been given to call – I didn’t think wizards and witches had phones – but nonetheless it had connected and I’d spoken to a very kind gentleman on the other end. He’d requested that I would swing by to her office, as it was improbable that she would have time to step away, being as busy as she was. I agreed, because I would do whatever it took to have coffee with one of the most famous literary figures in existence.
I had been given rather odd instructions about heading to a phone box in a rather run down area of London. Not being from the capital it took me a while to find it (I got off one tube stop too early and had to walk further…
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As you all know, I’m not much of a poetry lover. I am however a huge fan of Dorothy Parker, Noel Coward and Kristian. I defy you to read this without imagining a Noel Coward play with Fred Astaire. Kristian has a phenomenal talent for just about any genre and I didn’t think he could surprise me any more. I expect excellence from him – I didn’t expect this and I’m honestly thrilled
This is an unkind poem inspired by the prompt words:
Word of the Day: Dalliance
Three things Challenge: Puffer Fish, Soul, Staring
This is not a reflection of my character and I hope no one ever says anything this unkind to you.
So you thought this was love?
Good heavens above!
But I never said it was so.
It was just a dalliance
a one off alliance
now it’s time for you to go.
OK, so I’m cold
and callous, unfeeling
Maybe I just have no Soul
I never promised you more,
you’re being a bore,
I never wanted that role.
You got it all wrong,
You need to be strong
You really need to let go.
Stop staring at me
now you’ve paid your fee
make like a puffer fishand blow.
Copyright: Kristian Fogarty 21/June/2018
It’s Thursday so time for a throwback to a time when, well, I may NOT have been the perfect little angel I am now…
You know how it is with serendipity don’t you?!
Once I filed for divorce, my ex, Farquhar Barstardcelot, morphed into an even more complete bastard. He has this marvelous idea that I should stay home and look after the kids while he did his studly thing fornicating around the web and then we should get back together in 10-15 years – once the kids have left home.
Can anyone say go forth and multiply?!
Honestly, if I’d known he could be that funny before I filed.. yeah NO!
Farquhar had pulled stunts that are beyond audacious but – every dog has it’s day and it was mine.
The kids had a play date AT SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE! Not mine for once and holy debit cards – I could go shopping! On my own!! No flippin’ ankle-snappers!
I had a lovely time, no whining, no tale-telling.. no losing kids and for…
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Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
Here we are on Throw Back Thursday with a Public Service Announcement – if you ever meet a man with a green dilly dangler.. run!!
Some of you may have read the Ladeez night story and wondered what happened to Titselina Bumsqueak’s ex. We fixed Fat Sharon but what about TB’s ex? Percy Pickle?
They say confession is good for the soul – well… I guess it’s time for a spot of spiritual harmony!
So where did we leave off? Pretty much with the scant info that Fat Sharon had been playing “hide the sausage” with TB’s boyfriend, Percy Pickle.
Obviously our first instinct was to wallop him with a baseball bat. However, frankly, there isn’t enough cake in the world to give us the calories we’d have expended on doing the job right.
Time for Plan B.
B for Bitches heh, heh.
We decided we’d give him a night to remember so the three of us headed out to the pub. We’d deliberately planned it so he left his car at home and TB…
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It’s TBT and time for me to do the green thing and regurgitate one of my old posts! I hope you enjoy 😊
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement… not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes.
I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again so here it is.
An ongoing list in no particular order .. but a start..
Be wary of any group, political party, religion, or individual who claim’s to have all the answers. No one has all the answers. People who make these statements will only lead you into trouble. Anything you can’t question, or can’t get an answer to – isn’t right.
Learn about the world. School will give you limited information, with most of it slanted towards the teachers beliefs. Always look for more information, the opposite view. Structure your opinion on YOUR conclusions…
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There’s a new Challenge in town!! 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke Here’s what he has to say about it: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and … Continue reading 3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
It’s TBT and here’s a trip back to London and yet another of my infamous run ins with Doctors…
Growing up under the NHS in London was great. Until it wasn’t.
Raging Despots of Doctors receptionists. Doctors with God complex’s. Nurses who idolised the piggin’ idiots and made them even more delusional if possible!
Oh and let’s not forget the ever present cup of tea. I’m quite sure they even stopped operations for surgeons to have their tea break!
It all climaxed with us, the patients being a bit of a bloody nuisance if anything. I definitely felt treated as a convenience or tool of the trade by some.
This resulted in some embarrassing situations! As I got older, there were more toe curling episodes for them as I grew into my attitude but as a young girl, well – if we’re telling embarassing stories here goes.. it’s hard to pick just one isn’t it?!
When I was 19 I had to see a specialist for “Wimmins problems” and…
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It’s TBT so I’m sharing one of my pre dawn posts with you all. Happy one-more-day-until-the-weekend!!
Welcome to the latest round of The Bitchy One’s “You-Couldn’t-Make-This-Shit-Up..”
I was back in England visiting my best friend and I’d gone shopping.
While I was walking around in town I went into a sweet shop (candy store) to buy a curly wurly.
I decided I could indulge myself!
They had all kinds of retro sweets and I bought some shrimps, black jacks and fruit salads too so it was lovely!
Then it all started to go wrong.
Horribly, horribly wrong.
I saw packets of Space Dust.
Also known as Pop Rocks.
Remember that stuff?
You could put a few crystals on your tongue and it would pop and blast your teeth?!
I remember my brother pouring a whole packet into his mouth and screaming like he’d burst his bloody ear drums!!
But I disgress (nothing new there now is there?!)
I had a brainwave.
It probably wouldn’t…
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Today is my 3 month blogiversary - or blirthday if you will! I started this blog on February 1st 2018 and it seems like just yesterday and at the same time, much longer since I started this debacle! I'm in awe of my followers and really appreciate all of you. I am STUNNED that I've … Continue reading My 3 Month Blogiversary and Ferrero Rocher Cake!
Things were going entirely too well round here. It had been days or at least hours since my last mortification - I should have known it couldn't last!! It was a "lovely" day today. Temps reached the heady heights of 58F (14C) here in the frozen Norf. I almost discarded one of my three pairs … Continue reading Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
I’m having a throw back Thursday and reblogging a post frombefore I had any followers 😊
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross
Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player!
My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out.
By that I mean it was a weeknight because we were out seven nights a week!
Anyway we were home by 3am and in my room having an autopsy of the night.
….Why she danced with THAT minger.
….Why I let creepy guy buy us both a drink.
….Why we both had to climb out the toilet window AGAIN!
Not an unusual occurrence for us!
Actually a few years ago they were knocking one of our favorite haunts on the Old Kent Road in London.
I was very tempted to ask the builders for the toilet window for old times sake but wasn’t sure if…
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Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth, Boil and bubble I’m really not too sure about these generic meds under Obamacare... I have a dreadful attitude towards doctors. According … Continue reading The Joy of Sex – or How to Get Clucked by Your Healthcare Plan.
In case you ever wonder just how much rubbish one woman can talk... THIS MUCH!!
This story is a group effort. Denny and Em decided to write a chain story and invite others to join in so, with no ideas of what story we would write, I jumped! 10 different bloggers worked on this, me included. Everyone took the story a little further while trying to keep it in line … Continue reading A Dead Man Walking – Ten Bloggers Tell a Tale..
Many thanks to A Guy Called Bloke for nominating me for this challenge, I’m going to enjoy this!! This challenge was created by TinTins and it’s a lot of fun The Rules: • Choose a song that beats the nominators choice…doesn’t matter if its a cover, its about performance, lyrics and feeling the groove! Name … Continue reading The Spectacular Song Off!!
I decided I wanted to create my own form of recognition. Not linked to anyone else’s rules. Not one that requires the recipient to do anything. Just something from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment and empathy I’ve come to expect. I intend posting these recommendations twice a … Continue reading Recommended Blog of the Day 04/05/18
🎶 Welcome to the Song Off 🎶 Okay Everyone, I think you’ve probably all worked out by now that I’m NEVER one to resist a challenge!! ( yes I probably would jump off a cliff if dared - I’ve fallen off one in Cornwall before!) This challenge was invented by the inimitable Swerve with help … Continue reading Song Off Music Challenge!!
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge. Day 3
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
Tonight I asked ‘im indoors what he wanted to take to work for his lunch tomorrow. “Oh ....anything” he said offhandedly. I was quite peeved by this but - I had a golden moment. One of those moments where instead of going ballistic faster than the speed of light I actually stopped myself - and … Continue reading Sandwiches, Shoe Polish and Schaden Freude
Here’s a little fun game, just for the hell of it!! You don’t have to play along, but I tagged you because I’d like to see your answers! I was tagged by Floating Gold - enjoy, your Royal shiny-ness!! RULES: • Acknowledge the person who nominated you. • Answer the questions. • Nominate other bloggers … Continue reading Let’s play TMI Tag!!
I’m absolutely thrilled to have been nominated for the LIEBSTER award! Why??? You ask Because I get to share some of my ever growing lists of blogs that inspire, educate and entertain me. I was thrilled to be nominated by Becca at From My Lofty Hill. She has a fascinating blog about homesteading in Belize. … Continue reading The LIEBSTER Award
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago - one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!! I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He … Continue reading Advice – Britchy Style!!
Titselina Bumsqueak and I have a long history of laughter - way back to the last century in fact! That’s something I love saying, “last century”! It’s kind of scary when you realize this years HS graduating classes weren’t even born then - but I digress! Last time I visited TB she was still living … Continue reading Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
Although I was born and raised in England, I spent large portions of my life in Ireland. My parents moved there and built a house when they retired so that’s where I go to visit my Dad these days. My Dad has always been somewhat deaf but it’s worsened with age to the point where … Continue reading The Ho-Er at Moher..
Many years ago, when I was still living in England, I worked for Her Majesty’s Prison Service. I was a clerical officer and dealt with a wide range of services from Throughcare, Prisoners wages and Education to my main role which was Discipline. Yes I was a Discipline Administrative Officer in an all male prison! … Continue reading The Lunatics are Taking Over The Asylum..
I got another fun nomination! The Sunshine Blogger Award. Apparently this is given to blogs who are “creative, optimistic and inspiring, while spreading sunshine to the blogging community”. And me. The aspect of these awards I’m most thrilled about is that it gives me the chance to share blogs I’ve grown attached to and even … Continue reading The Sunshine Blogger Award
After reading this, I challenge you to think of a list of books that have made a difference to you. It’s up to you if you explain why or not but it’s a very pleasurable exercise reminding yourself of all your book loves! The hardship for me wasn’t in starting but in stopping. This doesn’t … Continue reading A Book Challenge
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement... not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes. I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again … Continue reading Things I want my kids to know..
Kids say the damndest things don't they?! I just found an email I sent to ‘im indoors in 2007. It was a transcript of a conversation my kids had just had. At the time they would have been 12, 11 and 6. So my second child, Fartichoke is watching the Simpsons (grrrr...) My youngest, Thmellyarthe, … Continue reading ‘E gets it frum ‘is muvver…
Well this is a bit strange..