Kids have such a lovely way of both surprising and shaming us at the same time don’t they?!
When mine were little, I was waiting at the school gates, as you do! My 6 year old daughter (at the time) arrived but I still had to wait for my son. At the top of her voice – because that’s what kids do – she said “Mummy. I know what sex is”
Everyone around us stopped talking. Birds stopped chirping. Cars stalled. Dogs stopped peeing on lamp posts.. all waiting to see what I’d do.
I eventually asked in a strangled voice – trying to buy time “Oh? What’s that then?”
“Sex is where Grandma lives” My mother lived in Sussex.
Heart failure and Social Services averted for another day!!
This is the same kid who was sat watching TV with her bother another day. I was half reading, half keeping an eye on them as they fought like cat and dog. There’s not quite eleven months between them and it utterly crucifies here that they are the same age for a few weeks every year!! (Yes I know – I don’t know what I was thinking either!!)
These two horrors only had two great grandparents left on the ex’s side. The ex’s mums dad and dad’s mum were both still alive – trying saying THAT when under the affluence of incahol!!
Fartichoke, was staring beyond the TV in his own little world and piped up with “I think Great Gran and Great Grandad should get married so they’ll have someone to talk to”
Princess PITA looked at him in that ‘lower than the belly of a worm’ way that only older sisters can do, let out a long-suffering sigh and exclaimed “Don’t be stupid. Great Grandad eats meat and Great Gran is a VAGINA”
We do go back to places a second time – if only to apologise!