I was watching MIB – mostly because it was in and I couldn’t be stars to channel surf and it got to that line about ‘The best of the best of the best SIR!’
I have to admit, I had a little smirk because I do actually know an anal retentive hun just like that character! It made me think though about the opposite so here you are! My worst of the worst of the worst… SIR!!
Worst Food – Cottage cheese without any doubt. The sight of that gloopy looking sour milk makes me heave. It reminds me of that film where aliens got drunk on sour milk. That made me literally throw up.
Worst Fashion – Big old lapels on jackets and flared trousers from the seventies. That shit was FUUUUGLY!! 70’s platforms were dire too. Apart from tv shows and music, I think the 70’s were pretty much a lost cause! I am too young thankfully to remember most of it, but old enough to know better than to resurrect it.
Worst Pet – I’m going with snakes or spiders. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m phobic about either but I’m extremely uncomfortable seeing snakes behind glass and I will cry if anyone tries to bring one near me. Spiders are equally as horrible and scary and I have slept on the sofa in the past when there has been a daddy long legs in the bedroom. I know it’s irrational. I also know I’m allowed to feel any way I want about them!
Worst Drink – Campari. It’s such a pretty color and it actually smells really nice too but it tastes like someone turned your mouth inside out and squirted deodorant on your tongue.
Worst Candy – Candy corn or peeps. Candy corn has no taste. You might as well pull a lump of sugar out of a bag and chomp on that. It’s a horrible disappointment. As for peeps – YUK! I love marshmallows so I thought I was on a winner with these but they have that weird coating that makes your mouth feel horrible. I actually thought they must be out of date they tasted so plasticky. Sadly no – they really do taste that bad. Eat the wrapper and chuck the candy!
Worst Chocolate -Hershey’s!! No doubt about it! It’s brown lard. Apparently it’s made with sour cream as opposed to full cream milk like ‘proper’ chocolate. It doesn’t snap when you break off a chunk either. It tears. Very inferior chocolate says I!!
Worst Film – oh just butter my butt and call me a biscuit.. how do I CHOOSE?! I would pick ‘anything with Kevin Costner’ because I’ve never managed to stay awake through any of his films – but that kind of makes him useful if I ever have insomnia. I think I’m going with Benjamin Button because I think Brad Pitt is over rated and this film was boring. It didn’t help that I watched it in a theatre that was colder than a morgue sitting next to a rotund flatulent gentleman who had evidently paid for half my seat as well as his. He stank. Not just his eggy farts but my friend, my daughter and her friend could all smell his royal rancidness too. Add in his snuffling breathing, talking to himself and spraying popcorn – it was not an edifying experience!
Worst Book – I definitely blogged about The Magic Lamp already.
Worst Subject at School – Hmm.. a toss up between Maths and Physics. Both were taught by the same evil arsed nun, Sister Mary Menopause. She was a ghastly old hag and HATED girls. I’ve often wondered why people seclude themselves in religious orders away from the world and then expect to be able to teach others how to survive in it. Ego mania, megalomania or just plain meanymania. Trust me folks. People who separate themselves from normal life are not the people who should be educating your kids.
Worst song – Oh this has to be Procul Harum – A Whiter Shade Of Pale. I can’t tell you how I hate this, I start to get the shudders even typing it. Every band I’ve ever heard in a pub plays this and a) they all destroy it and b) it’s a flipping DIRGE. Worst mood killer of all time. It might be ‘iconic’ but so is the Magna Carta and I don’t want that ruining my good mood in a pub either!
I can’t think of any other worsts but if you want to suggest categories I’ll be happy to add them to a future post!