Things I Think Of Instead Of Doing Something More Productive

Was inglourious basterds meant to be spelled so badly or did they just do it because they knew it would piss me off? I’ve never watched it because the bloody spelling annoys me so much!

If God didn’t think humility was important, SHE would have put the prostate somewhere else.

If ever I wanted a boob job I’d sell off all the stuff I don’t want any more at boot fairs and garage sales.. I could call it “Tit for Tat”….

I wonder if the people organizing the psychic fair next weekend know I’m not coming..

I’m only helpless when my nail

polish is wet – and even then, I could pull a trigger if I needed to.

Unfriended by a family member in Facebook! This usually signals backstabbery they don’t want me to see! If you have a problem with me please write it down on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it neatly and shove it up your arse.

I wonder if the people in my stories would recognize themselves if they ever read my blog? Bastards.

If you’re wasting time doing nothing and enjoying it you’re not wasting time are you?

Do Siamese twins have to pay for one or two seats on a plane?

Why does French Onion Soup never taste as good as it smells?

46 thoughts on “Things I Think Of Instead Of Doing Something More Productive

  1. Hahaha “Unfriended by a family member in Facebook! This usually signals backstabbery they don’t want me to see! If you have a problem with me please write it down on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it neatly and shove it up your arse.”
    Bing Bing Bing! Spot on! Been there…do that! Hahaha

    Liked by 4 people

  2. You made me laugh! I am fixated by the ginger cat in your post. I wonder what s/he is looking at. Am I wasting time trying to think what s/he is thinking? Time spent with cats or looking at their pictures or videos on the internet is never wasted 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Aside from a few appointments and church, this weekend is a couch weekend! I’ve been enjoying it so much after my long week. I hate when people tell me it’s not good but I sometimes you just have to sit and be along and still to recharge yourself.

    And I totally agree with you on the french onion soup!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LMFAO THAT PSYCHIC FAIR one is one for the books!! I can’t stop laughing. And also the Siamese twin question is legit!! And what the hell! French soup is a LIE!!!! I thought I was the only one! This was so great you need to do it again lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m always musing some shit lol
      I said the psychic fair comment to ‘im indoors last weekend when I saw it in the paper. I thought he was going to stop breathing he laughed so hard and I was being serious! Bastard!
      As for flippin’ French Onion soup – it NEVER fails to disappoint 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love, Love, Love It!

    No one rants and muses quite like you. 🙂

    Oh, and I make French Onion Soup that tastes divine, It’s my favourite. If you ever find yourself in Essex, after taking a wrong turn on the way to somewhere better, drop in and I’ll make you some. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh my gosh! I so get the way you think!
    I love the humility in the prostate process (can I share that on my FB page – acknowledging where it came from, of course?); the Tit for Tat market stall and I’m glad it’s not just me who wonders about Psychic Fairs advertising. Do they only pay for the readers that they know they will reach? Do they know if the event will be a success or failure beforehand anyway?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There are a lot of things on here that made me laugh, and a few that might keep me up tonight. Quite possibly, the one about the soup. I’m so glad it’s not just me that thinks that, but, seriously why DOESNT it taste as good as it smells????? It’s not fair!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hahaha I love your thought processes! I don’t think people are aware of how they behave and affect others a lot of the time, so it’s more than possible they’d never recognise it was themselves you were writing about at any point. Tit for tat – I’m pretty sure I snorted when I laughed at that. Don’t think I could ever get a boob job though, the idea of that stuff in my chest freaks me out. Great post – thanks for the chuckles! 🙂
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

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