A Poem By The Stroppy Git Who Hates Poetry

My much loved fellow blogger, Kristian found a challenge on a blog I haven’t come across before but will have to start following I think!

Esther of Esther Newton Blog set a challenge to write a poem about food.

Yes you read that right. A Poem.

Me. The girl who’s idea of a classy sonnet is ‘The Boy Stood On The Burning Deck…

I make no secret of the fact I’m not a fan of poetry. I’m a big, Big, BIG fan of Kristian though so I read every thing he writes. As should you! Seriously, I love his stories. He’s one of my absolute favorite bloggers.

So poems. Poems and me. I went there. Apologies in advance but the devil made me do it!

I never thought that I should see

A food that couldn’t quite please me

A filthy psycho chose to tease

And thus invented cottage cheese

It makes me hurl and swear words utter

The blinkin’ stuff belongs in the gutter.

To make me happy bring me cake

From a shop or that you baked

Wash it down with a cup of tea

It’s such a lovely treat to me

Here in the US, proud and mighty

It’s not the same as dear old Blighty

Foods very different in this country

I’d happily choke my ex for a Crunchie

(I’d happily choke him any way but that’s not food related or rhyming so ignore this bit)

Fish and chips can be found

But the chips are fries

Don’t even think you can find pies!

If that’s not enough to chill your soul

They serve it with coleslaw not a buttered roll!

I miss Brit sarnies like cheese and pickle

That really make your taste buds tickle.

I want a kebab or a proper curry,

Neither of which I’ll get in a hurry

For all I miss

There’s so much here

Food and people I hold so dear

So I’ll stay put and shovel cake

And thank the Lord I learned to bake!

46 thoughts on “A Poem By The Stroppy Git Who Hates Poetry

    1. Yes it’s like cinder toffee or sponge candy as it’s called here. Its a Violet Crumble in Oz I think. I like those too but I like Crunchies just a bit better, slightly different taste and texture.
      My ex used to get so angry with me because I eat all the chocolate off first and then eat the middle. I do that with a lot of candy bars actually – and especially paydays! He used to rail at me for dissecting my food like a heathen! Bless his heart 😎

      Liked by 1 person

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