This poetry malarkey is too much! Jeez. My brain hurts!
I blame cake because I made a couple of dozen cupcakes today. I’m feeling a bit sick now because I’ve eaten four. My son Fartichoke exclaimed ‘Mum that’s your THIRD!’ I was very indignant I can tell you and righteously corrected him ‘It’s my second.
It was, the second of my second pair. Cake should always be eaten in pairs. Anything else is just rude!
Where was I? Oh yes! Rory at A Guy Called Bloke has challenged everyone to write a pirate post. There are no restrictions on format so please join in! Just tag him and me so we can all see.
Here’s my effort and this is it. No more poetry I promise!
Years ago while still a learnin’
Careers day set thoughts a churnin’
What should I choose? Who could I be?
To live on land or rule the sea?
A Pirate Queen or a Britch Goddess?
‘‘Twas a terrible choice I will confess
I wanted Gold and Rum and Jewels
Riches stole from gullible fools
Sat on a beach in far Jamaica
Where One Eyed Farquhar Met his maker
He shouldn’t have argued with Bad Bitch Britchy
Her trigger fingers far too twitchy
He’s buried deep beneath the sand
Ex marks the spot by his left hand
Eternal Rest With no surprise
For there he lies – and lies – and lies..
Nah. He doesn’t deserve a death so easy
And spoiling Jamaica makes me queasy
So there it is, I choose plan B
B for Britch – yup that’s me!
Landlubber born and trickster bred
I’ll think of an end that bugger’ll dread!
A killer cake is my surprise.
Death by chocolate, a sad demise.
I’ll bake it full of ‘shit-be-gone’
Not really chocolate, what a con!
He’ll scoff the lot and need the loo
Not death by chocolate, Death by poo!