You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em..
That Kenny Rogers song is rattling around in my noggin and won’t go away.
Sometimes you can’t help people no matter how hard you try. Knowing when to step back… and doing it – well they’re two of the hardest things ever to learn and to follow through with.
You feel guilty. You feel like you’re giving up on your friends or family and they will compound that.
Here’s the thing. If someone doesn’t want to help themselves or isn’t ready to change you’re just wasting your time. That doesn’t mean you have to accept or condone, just that you have to be there when they’re finally ready to take your hand and use it to pull THEMSELVES up.
Rock bottom is different for everyone and I really believe that until people hit their own rock bottom they don’t start fighting their way up. Where that is varies but when the only way is up that’s where you have to go – or drown.
I’ll always be here with my hand out to help but I can’t pull anyone else’s weight without them trying to help themselves too. You can’t save someone from drowning by drowning yourself.
The hardest bit is when someone chooses to sink instead of swim. When their self destructive actions and disregard for themselves or others puts the people who want to help them at risk.
None of us can pull them out of a grave and it’s very hard wishing you could have helped more when all you can do is visit a name on a piece of granite.