..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
Is there a prize for the most syllables in a post title? If there is I should definitely win for this one. Sometimes my life stories have a moral to them. Other than the usual 'Never trust a smiling Britchy' or a quiet Britchy actually, or a chatty Britchy or a... yeah I think you … Continue reading Orchestration Of Castration Without Hospitalization
We’re in difficult times. We’re facing uncertainty, food shortages and the very real possibility of losing family members. This last happened during World War 2 and I can’t help but see certain similarities. Profiteering and the Black Market was terribly despised then. You could be jailed or even hung. Even as a collaborator, knowing, but seeing … Continue reading Are we raising the next ‘Greatest Generation’?
Don’t be afraid to leave a job. There comes a time when they can’t see past what they think you are or can do. Sometimes you have to shine your light in a different corner Don’t be afraid to dance. It doesn’t matter who is watching, it only matters that you feel alive. Don’t be … Continue reading Don’t
Aren’t men funny? In every sense of the word. Funny ha-ha, funny peculiar and funny-why-are-you-still-alive? ‘im indoors is a prime example. There’s the easy way, the hard way and his way. I have the patience of a saint I’m telling ya! Cars. I want to buy a new/newer car when we move. I’ve kind of … Continue reading Geezerly McFuddy-Duddy And The Oldest Swinger In Town.
Well in spite of being extraordinarily busy at work and working extra hours every day this week.. I still found time to ponder a load of crap. Obviously this means YOU now have to ponder it too! These are the things I think of when I’m hiding out in the bathroom because I’m over peopled!! … Continue reading Things I Just Don’t Get..
I must admit that at my age...I started to think about this. It was very reassuring to take this quick test and know this ...I'm good! If you are over 40 yrs old, you absolutely SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test Scroll on.. How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ … Continue reading Self Examination Alzheimer’s Test….
After my Mother’s Day post I just wanted to finish my thoughts. My mum was a complicated woman. She lived a very black and white life when truthfully, life is just many shades of grey. She made life hard for herself and others but ultimately I think she hurt herself most of all. I have … Continue reading Give A Little, Get A Lot
I had to go to Best Buy today as I wanted an original Samsung charger for my tablet. I went in wearing my "vegetarian vampire" shirt and this mall cop stood right in front of me stuck his thumbs in his belt all cocky and said " So what does a vegetarian vampire do then?" … Continue reading Deep Holes And Shallow Thoughts
I'm only going to make one post election comment. On Tuesday I sat at the polls all day as an election inspector. At about 9am the local Democrat and Republican parties collaborated and brought coffee and donuts to all the polling stations in our town. They worked together and did something good. It was a … Continue reading Moving Forward… Together?
Something to think about - make today YOURS!! Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Statistic of the day: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died of Ebola. The statistic does not state which is considered a worse fate. If you came with Instructions, what would they … Continue reading A Little Something For The Weekend?
You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.. That Kenny Rogers song is rattling around in my noggin and won’t go away. Sometimes you can’t help people no matter how hard you try. Knowing when to step back... and doing it - well they’re two of the hardest things ever to … Continue reading Every Hands A Winner And Every Hands A Loser
I might have been a little bit naughty. Or Educational, take your pick. One of my friends who shall remain nameless (male and thicker than poo!!) was posting that his internet was really slow. Being "helpful" I told him his posts weren't showing up and that he must be was having connectivity issues and to … Continue reading Earth Men Are Easy
Have you ever noticed how news sites and other media malarkey is full of *big* people? People the world considers "important"? Have you ever met anyone famous? Were you in awe? Why? What have they done for you? I'm grateful everyday for the "little" people in my life. People who aren't rich. Aren't famous. Aren't … Continue reading The Most Important People In The World.
I’m not much of a sports person. Not unless you count competitive pranking anyway. There is a plethora of good reasons for this. Darts got me in vehicular hot water. Tennis caused an Omen like effect on a greenhouse and even the genteel art of Bowls was dealt a death knell when it crossed paths … Continue reading Pot The Red And Screw Back…
A good Christian would forgive you - A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’ Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! - The inflation … Continue reading Tuesday Thoughts
We’re going on a trip in the way back machine today! Fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking whilst we prepare for Blast Off.. Sit back comfortably but don’t go to sleep because, well, things can happen in dreams and real life simultaneously. You didn’t know that? Get yourself some caffeine and I’ll explain. Farquhar … Continue reading The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..
Titselina Bumsqueak and I were chatting about ex's and how we both have ex’s called Dave. At some point in life, every single one of us knows a Dave who is a complete knobsock. We dated them, we worked with them - our lives have been blighted by a plague of Dave’s, in fact it’s … Continue reading The Theory of Men or Don’t go there!
I took one of my Amish friends shopping on Friday.. her and her five kids under the age of seven - to Walmart and Aldi.. Yes I need my head tested Yes I deserve a medal!! That's not what this saga is about though, the subject of The Amish is a whole 'nuvver post! When … Continue reading Pie In The Sky… Or The Mysterious Case Of The Hissing Strawberries.
At some point in our lives we’re all going to have one of ‘those’ friends. The ‘keeping up appearances’ type. Shallow as a puddle in the Sahara. The sort for whom image is everything. I don’t know if they are really insecure or totally oblivious but the fact remains, which ever it is they’re BLOODY … Continue reading Her? Oh She’s All Fur Hat and No Knickers… And Marmite.
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
I was down in NC (amongst other places) last week and I stayed with my son Fartichoke and his friends. For some obscure reason his friends love me and all have to visit every time I’m down which led to many sunrise bedtimes.. I’m getting too old for that crap! Fartichoke was telling stories of … Continue reading How I Upset EVERYONE!!
I haz a numb bum! A very numb bum, I nearly had two kittens too which would have made the numb bum worth it but I was pipped at the post. Murder Mittens (tabby and white kitten) and Scrapper Stinkbutt (coal black kitten) weren’t meant for me but there is a ginger hooligan waiting for … Continue reading Road Trips, Kittens and a Numb Bum!!
I had a lovely long conversation with Titselina Bumsqueak who reminded me of several ‘Things I Have Done’. Honestly, sometimes it feels like she just doesn’t appreciate the lengths I go to and the depths I plummet for her benefit. I was visiting her and we’d gone into the small seaside town she lives in … Continue reading How To Liven Up Grocery Shopping – Or NOT..
Daisy is in disgrace. At least that’s MY version! In hers she’s a total badass!! We went out for a walk a little while ago, it’s a nice evening, a little chilly for my liking but we walked on the sunny side of the street to try and get the best out of it. This … Continue reading Give a dog a bone..
So I have this friend who we'll call ‘Mary Hinge’ (cos that's not her name) My girl has a bit of a disability. She's deaf. She must be. She didn't listen to my Anglo Saxon monologue warning and went and got herself married. Sentenced to life by a gold band and a big cake. Now … Continue reading Monkey Business
I was asked a question recently after spending a great deal of time helping someone with a problem they just couldn’t understand. It was.. challenging and I’ll be honest, very annoying because it was really simple. Eventually I found a way to help them understand thankfully. Afterwards I was asked why I bothered, “it wasn’t … Continue reading Be a Virus
I thought of so many titles for this post. ‘Riding in Buggies with Bonnets’ was a favorite but I went with the above because it really is a synopsis of this tale! A lot of people don’t realize that NY has a very large Amish community. They’re all over the state, from the Hudson Valley … Continue reading Up Thy Butterchurn! – Or When Pennsylvania Dutch Met a Touch of the Gaelic
So far since living in the US I haven’t had any truck with the Joeys*. Maybe it’s because we lived in the middle of a largely Amish community when I first moved here. There’s no explanation why we’re escaping their visits now though, unless either my reputation proceeds me or they aren’t as tenuous here … Continue reading Miss Manners (UN)Guide to Answering the Door
Yes you guessed it. Another story from Ireland - because frankly, where else could this stuff go down? So it was a Saturday night and we were off to Ballygobackwards to see a really great local band. There was me, Titselina Bumsqueak and my cousin, Saoirse* O’Milk all glammed, glittered and nearly scuttered with the … Continue reading The Gig, the Jig and Stealing a Hearse
Titselina Bumsqueak, Fat Sharon and I used to haunt The Empire in Leicester Square on Friday nights. It was a sacred tradition, a no boyfriends invited, girls night out. It was the 80’s, Pina Coladas, enough make up to paint a bridge, shoulder pads and heels so high you needed oxygen to walk in them! … Continue reading Chips, Coppers and High Heeled Croppers
It really is a wonderful world. I'm sharing this today as a reminder to me that no culture is made up of purely bad people. There are good people everywhere, you just have to look. Years ago when the kids were very small I used to have foreign language students to stay while they were … Continue reading Roast Chicken – the Answer to World Peace.
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
My youngest son, Thmellyarthe, was a very precocious reader. He was able to read first reading books at the age of three. I used to play with him as we’d be walking around the supermarket asking him to tell me when we were in aisle three,count tins of beans, find me the orange packet of … Continue reading The Coffee Table, The Ex and The Voice of Doom
I saw an ex coworker yesterday who I haven't seen since before Christmas. He was a little upset with me. Before Christmas he was complaining about his wife. He was saying she was always bitching at him and she seemed to have PMS 24/7. (Married to him, I’m not surprised..) Naturally my sympathies were with … Continue reading You Just Can’t Help Some People!!
Ive been asked a few times why I chose my blog name “Bitchin’ in the Kitchen” People seem to think I should perceive it as derogatory to use the word “bitch”. Here’s my reply. The expression “to bitch” is used in England to describe moaning, grumbling, whining etc. You can have a good old bitch … Continue reading Why I’m Bitchin’ in the Kitchen
By now you’ve probably realised, Names Are Being Changed. I’m not really Britchy - wait, yes I am - but it’s not my actual NAME!! I thought I’d better start a post where the cast was explained so here it is! I’ll add to it as more reprobates appear.. Family ’im indoors - hubby Fartichoke … Continue reading The Cast of Characters
You can always tell a Donegal chap by his parsimonious use of words. No, “you’ve got nice eyes”, “can I buy you a drink” or even that toe-curling old chestnut “do you come here often?”. Oh nooooo. The mating seasons too short for that Miss Manners how’s-yer-father in Donegal. Those young feller-me-lads are straight to … Continue reading In Which The Girls Ventured Forth…
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 