‘‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…”

Here, if needed, is proof of why I should NEVER be left to my own devices.. I’ve tried to add as many bloggers as possible. If I follow you and you’re not here thank your lucky stars it’s because I ran out of original sin!!

‘Twas The Blog before Christmas

And throughout WordPress

Not a Blogger was stirring

Not even “Our Mel,” the Caramel Goddess

The posts were all scheduled

Curated and checked

The reader was loading new posts to inspect

Good bloggers were snoring and farting in bed

While dreams of SEO (and other weird shittery I don’t understand) danced in their head

Then notifications went off with a clatter!

I woke, WTF – to see what was the matter

I opened up Windows and exited Flash

Pop ups kept appearing, WordPress wanted cash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But Bottomless Coffee with a barrel of beer!

Behind him stood Rory and Kristian and Frenchie

Dressed as Santa and Rudolph and a saucy Elf wenchie

Our Lana was there with new books to peruse

While Laura had posts about stuff she’d re use

There was Bookstooge and Jenni, Hinoeuma and Bella

Sam and Anna brought wine from the back of the cellar.

There was Teresa and Giggles and a lone Rastafarian

Who’d come to the party with The Eclectic Contrarian

With a diva like entrance, came the gorgeous Rakkelle

Who was driving the party on the short bus to hell (aka upstate NY)

Ruth tried to post but was right out of luck

T’was then we discovered the Reader was fluffed! (I couldn’t think of anything to rhyme with ‘luck’…)

Well tickle my tinsel and twinkle my glitter

“Our seasonal postings are lost in the gritter” (I was going to say shitter but that’s rude)

Said WordPress community

Without a trace of impunity

With wailing and cursing and gnashing of teeth

We called out to Santa to send us relief

Down the chimney Ben Huberman came with a bound

He brushed himself off and then had a look round

A couple of sherries had him feeling like Yule

And thus he reinstated the Community Pool

All bloggers united, delighted and proud

That the boffins at WordPress had bowed to the crowd

The party restarted with music and cheer

And let’s not forget the barrel of beer!

The booze was a flowing and as long as it lasted

I had to declare that my flabber was gasted!

A lesson for life that will last us forever –

Good things will happen when we all stand together

And thus, it’s the end of this great pile of shite

Merry Bloggy Christmas to All

..and to all a good site!

100 thoughts on “‘‘Twas The Blog Before Christmas…”

  1. This was effing brilliant!!!! What an apt description of moi…Spot on!!!

    Who knew you could rhyme too??? Your talents are endless. Lemme find out I have to get you a Contract as a rapper. We need more middle-aged caucasian women in the rap game anyway. 😂😂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I see I didn’t make the ‘list’. 😐 Now whether or not that’s good (or bad), I’m not sure, but this IS getting a reblog all the same! ..and to all a good night! 😛 (and I’m very sure you knew what rhymed with “luck” but good on ya for not taking the low road! 😉 )

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Well I just had the most whacked out dream I’ve had in a long time! I haven’t been sleeping well all week and I’m a little cold symptomy today so all I can really do is sleep and force my legs to get me to the couch once I’m done sleeping haha I can’t believe I just slept for another two hours….I feel like I’m existing in water…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, dear, GOD. 🤣🤣🤣 Britchy, I just choked on my smoothie. You are a damn fine poet, an Ameribrit charmer and an entertainment GODDESS. Now, on the short bus with ya’. I’m bringing the single-barrel aged Rum for the eggnog.

    And, thanks for the mention…🤗❤

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Oh, yeah. A cube farm. I was a resident of one of those for several years with Texas VLB. The supervisor that mentioned in some of my posts was the only one that could see over the walls. They were tall, mauve-colored prison cells. Later, GLO/VLB went to pods with telescoping desks.

        I guess I was a cubed ho, too…huh? 🤔🙄😖

        Liked by 1 person

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