Tuesday Thoughts

A good Christian would forgive you – A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born

Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’

Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! – The inflation of taxation on urination at the station causes indignation. Poet Laureate material right there.

Answering the phone ” XXX Police Department Fraud Division” sure has slowed down the telemarketers…

I would like to remind everyone NOT to take sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night. Just sayin’….

When I do “bad” things and talk rubbish it lets all the devilry out of me.. therefore all that is left is sweet and pure and wonderful! My words might be full of crap but I’m shiny and golden inside 😉

Hating Negativity is an oxymoron

Who thought up the Poop emoji and what kind of sicko wants their poop to have eyes and smile at you? Even worse – who the hell gives turd toys to their kids???

I won’t judge you by your age, sex or faith but I’m telling you straight – I absolutely will judge you by how you return your shopping cart to the corral

How did the makers of Jurassic World etc know what dinosaurs would sound like?

Every time you let a door close you turn it into a wall.

The question I hate most in job interviews is “What do you like doing?” I have kids and pets damnit. I like silence and going to the loo by myself.

48 thoughts on “Tuesday Thoughts

  1. Well I’d give you a job if you said that in my interview/ 😉
    All good stuff,

    A door becoming a wall, even more so when I shove a chair under the handle or push the bed up against it. No one comes in when I don’t want them too, usually because I have to let the homicidal tendencies dissipate. I’m only thinking of them. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. There are a few out there.
        How do you see yourself working with our team? I don’t know let me meet them first
        How much productive value can you bring to our team? That depends on if you position me according to my skill set or set me with a bunch of your laziest employees

        Etc etc lol it is a lose lose battle

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes, I don’t like mind games either when being the recruiter or candidate. As a recruiter, you’re setting a piss poor example of the company if you behave like that. A dynamic interview with a lot of interest and fun, interesting questions about YOU will make you want to work there. If you don’t come out of an interview feeling enthused hopeful and excited then the recruiter failed.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. In answer to your question: “who the hell gives turd toys to their kids???” When my kids were teens – aged 14 and 16, I had been trying, unsuccessfully, to find out what they wanted for Christmas. The only answer I got – followed by uproarious laughter each and every time, was “Poop in a box!”. They both thought this was hilarious. The horrified, disgusted look on my son’s face when he opened this lovely little wooden box on Christmas morning to discover a little pile of plastic poop was PRICELESS…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I was down to the middle of the post when I realized those were all separate thoughts. They were not meant to be a cohesive post. That just shows the state of my mind today. There is none.

    I can’t figure out the poop emoji, either. The obsession is just… weird. Incomprehensible. And have you heard about poop emoji cafes in Japan, or CANADA?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. 😂😂😂😂I completely feel you on that last one. I’m a sleepy person by nature, so when people want an answer other than “write” I usually say “take naps” and they think I’m joking around!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No it just occurred to me as ‘im indoors always takes a sleep aid and last night he was complaining of constipation.. so it occurred to me that could be disastrous!
      He really wasn’t nearly as amused as I was by the suggestion!!

      Liked by 2 people

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