A good Christian would forgive you – A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born
Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’
Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! – The inflation of taxation on urination at the station causes indignation. Poet Laureate material right there.
Answering the phone ” XXX Police Department Fraud Division” sure has slowed down the telemarketers…
I would like to remind everyone NOT to take sleeping pills and laxatives on the same night. Just sayin’….
When I do “bad” things and talk rubbish it lets all the devilry out of me.. therefore all that is left is sweet and pure and wonderful! My words might be full of crap but I’m shiny and golden inside 😉
Hating Negativity is an oxymoron
Who thought up the Poop emoji and what kind of sicko wants their poop to have eyes and smile at you? Even worse – who the hell gives turd toys to their kids???
I won’t judge you by your age, sex or faith but I’m telling you straight – I absolutely will judge you by how you return your shopping cart to the corral
How did the makers of Jurassic World etc know what dinosaurs would sound like?
Every time you let a door close you turn it into a wall.
The question I hate most in job interviews is “What do you like doing?” I have kids and pets damnit. I like silence and going to the loo by myself.
Well I’d give you a job if you said that in my interview/ 😉
All good stuff,
A door becoming a wall, even more so when I shove a chair under the handle or push the bed up against it. No one comes in when I don’t want them too, usually because I have to let the homicidal tendencies dissipate. I’m only thinking of them. 🙂
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Yea as you can tell by my car ‘security’ my home security is… unique too!
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Hahaha! Excellent post and as ever, you made me LOL! x
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The question I hate is “Where do you see yourself in 5yrs” Most of the time the answer is “not fucking here” I don’t know why I never get the job after that.
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Yes that’s a very stupid question. If I ever ask that it’s because the candidate is so lame I’m past caring!
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Asking people to identify their faults is the interview question of evil – how do you get that one right?
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I say ‘honestly I don’t know because if I perceive a weak area I work on it.’
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There are a few out there.
How do you see yourself working with our team? I don’t know let me meet them first
How much productive value can you bring to our team? That depends on if you position me according to my skill set or set me with a bunch of your laziest employees
Etc etc lol it is a lose lose battle
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Yes, I don’t like mind games either when being the recruiter or candidate. As a recruiter, you’re setting a piss poor example of the company if you behave like that. A dynamic interview with a lot of interest and fun, interesting questions about YOU will make you want to work there. If you don’t come out of an interview feeling enthused hopeful and excited then the recruiter failed.
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Saturday at the pool there was a kid floating on an inflatable poop emoji. Lol 💩
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How lovely!! 🤐
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Lol 😂
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Oh i agree completely with you when you said going to the loo is more than a penny! 😄😄😄😄
I don’t like that either
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That’s why I pee in parking lots. It’s free, I just have to open my car doors and act as if I’m looking in my car. It took some practice not to look down!
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I get that they have to pay for cleaners etc – but we taxed enough to cover that surely?!
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Exactly, then there’s always the chance of being caught and prosecuted as a pervert! I don’t require a court to tell me that I am a pervert, I already know it!!!!!!
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In answer to your question: “who the hell gives turd toys to their kids???” When my kids were teens – aged 14 and 16, I had been trying, unsuccessfully, to find out what they wanted for Christmas. The only answer I got – followed by uproarious laughter each and every time, was “Poop in a box!”. They both thought this was hilarious. The horrified, disgusted look on my son’s face when he opened this lovely little wooden box on Christmas morning to discover a little pile of plastic poop was PRICELESS…
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Pranking is different lol
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Says the QUEEN of pranks…I don’t even hold a CANDLE to you! 😊
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😂 I’m a bad person
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Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t cross you on purpose! 😂😂😂
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😂
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Then again, if more women wore dresses, they could also stand to pee in the parking lot without drawing a lot of attention. A penny to pee, crazy
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I like my shoes too much – we don’t have your aim!
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Good counter, I do not know what you ladies go through just for some relief!
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30p in Waterloo Station!
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Oh the irony!!
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I know! 🤣
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“The inflation of taxation on urination at the station causes indignation.” 🤣🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💕
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Sometimes I amaze myself 😂
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🙂 Hmm a combination of crazy and inspiring!
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and educational and feel good.. you’ve learned there are some really crazy whack jobs in the world and aren’t you glad you’re not one of them?!
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I was down to the middle of the post when I realized those were all separate thoughts. They were not meant to be a cohesive post. That just shows the state of my mind today. There is none.
I can’t figure out the poop emoji, either. The obsession is just… weird. Incomprehensible. And have you heard about poop emoji cafes in Japan, or CANADA?
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That. Is. Revolting!!
They’re Mcdonalds right?! 😂
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Nope.
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😂😂😂😂I completely feel you on that last one. I’m a sleepy person by nature, so when people want an answer other than “write” I usually say “take naps” and they think I’m joking around!
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Little so they know!!
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Is the warning for the sleeping pill/ laxative comb something experience taught you? lol Great post 😂
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No it just occurred to me as ‘im indoors always takes a sleep aid and last night he was complaining of constipation.. so it occurred to me that could be disastrous!
He really wasn’t nearly as amused as I was by the suggestion!!
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Hahaha!!!! Make sure you’re sleeping elsewhere if that ever happens !
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Dublin too but may be now it’s 30🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Totally taking the piss!!!
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😂😂😂😂
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Ha ha brilliant just the humour l needed right now – many thanks for the smile! 🙂
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You’re very welcome 😊
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Would you prefer the unicorn poop emoji in rainbow colors? 😀 It’s amazing what people will buy
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I know – like seeing kids with South Park Characters .. why would you let your kids near that??
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