I used to be married to a right charmer.. you all know the sort I'm sure. Too tight to pay for a gym subscription so he used me as a punchbag instead. A real MAN (NOT) Trouble is they're just so good at hiding it at first... Well not only was he a stinking piece … Continue reading Revenge – a dish best eaten cold??
After reading this, I know that from now on if you hear a train has been delayed, you'll be wondering what the rotten swines of crew did! Farquhar Bastardcelot was a train driver. He used to drive trains through the Channel Tunnel. He was a total brown nose and he found out that his supervisor … Continue reading The train on platform 9 has been delayed..
Titselina Bumsqueak and I have a long history of laughter - way back to the last century in fact! That’s something I love saying, “last century”! It’s kind of scary when you realize this years HS graduating classes weren’t even born then - but I digress! Last time I visited TB she was still living … Continue reading Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
You know how it is with serendipity don't you?! Once I filed for divorce, my ex, Farquhar Barstardcelot, morphed into an even more complete bastard. He has this marvelous idea that I should stay home and look after the kids while he did his studly thing fornicating around the web and then we should get … Continue reading The Many Uses of Lipstick – Or The Price of Revenge…
Some of you may have read the Ladeez night story and wondered what happened to Titselina Bumsqueak's ex. We fixed Fat Sharon but what about TB’s ex? Percy Pickle? They say confession is good for the soul - well... I guess it’s time for a spot of spiritual harmony! So where did we leave off? … Continue reading The Pint and The Pickle
As with so many other women in this great world of ours, I'm afflicted with sharing a bathroom with people who have reached end of life "cantputthefuckingseatbackdownitis" This isn't a laughing matter. This condition is seemingly incurable and often results in death. Theirs. Usually caused by a broken neck from being hit repeatedly with aforementioned … Continue reading Nocturnal Swimming Lessons..
I've just seen a status update from a friend that reminded me of some of the shit Titselina Bumsqueak and I got up to in our younger days.. umm that would be "Clarissa Pumpernickel" and "Penelope Farquar" ACTUALLY because TB and I were little angels of course *dodges thunderbolt* (and yes - we really DID give those … Continue reading Oh Yes, it’s LADEEEZ Night..