‘im indoors had been having a bit of a grumble lately because of the heat. He doesn’t mind the heat so much as the humidity. We had a whacking great downpour this afternoon.
I’d gone to Wegmans to buy stuff to make a baked cheesecake and as I was leaving it was absolutely leathering it down. I was parked about 50 yards from the store and I was drenched by the time I got to the car. Literally wet right down to skin.
I drove home and it was still just pouring so I was well and truly dripping when I got indoors. Not five minutes later the sun came back out and it was so steamy. Literally! Steam was rising off the deck and lounge chairs and it was like breathing in water. I gave it long enough for the loungers to dry – about twenty minutes and took myself out to sit on the deck.
I was behaving beautifully, just sat there reading quietly when ‘im indoors got home. He got out of the car, red faced, sweaty and grumpy. He has this eternal quest to get the best mileage he can do doesn’t use the AC in the car. He also doesn’t like the noise of wind so he won’t open the windows and will only crack the sunroof slightly. I won’t tolerate that, I make him have the AC on when I’m in his car. I adore the heat but I can’t stand stuffyness.
ANYWAY – he trudged up the steps to the deck and took one look at me sat in the lounger and ranted “Jesus H Christ you’re insane. There’s a heat advisory (there isn’t) there’s something wrong with you, you’re not human….” etc etc! This isn’t a new rant. He thinks I’m insane because I’ll sit with a big fleecy blanket over me on the sofa while he has the AC on too.
You know how it is. I’d behaved beautifully all day. I hadn’t barked at the postman, I hadn’t defiled anyone’s shopping trollers… I hadn’t even messed with the heads of any telesales calls. I was angelic – and it couldn’t last.
I went into the bathroom and swooshed toothpaste around my mouth with a little water then went through to the kitchen where he was stood at the sink washing his hands. I walked up behind him and bit his arm.
He turned around to see what the heck was going on and saw me, foaming at the mouth and laughing like a piggin’ idiot. I was literally snorting where I was trying not to spit toothpaste.
His face – was a study in absolute horror. I’d have taken a photo but I think he’d have had me sectioned in the psych ward by now if I had!
He said “…why?”
I think he was lost for any other words to be honest – so I said “You call me crazy… you gonna SEE crazy!”
It’s very quiet round here. It doesn’t help that I’m chuckling away to myself while I’m writing this.. I think I’m in the dog house. Again!