I was thinking about hurricane advice and I realised, obviously it’s all subjective. Stocking up on Bread and milk is NOT a good idea if you’re gluten or lactose intolerant for instance.. so from there it was an easy stretch for me into how I’d ‘survive’ a hurricane!!
Stores running out of gas,water and canned goods is bad – but as long as the liquor stores have stock we can get through this! You can keep your water, baked beans and Ritz crackers. If I have hooch, chips and chocolate I’m all set.. make sure you choc-pile the REAL necessities. Maybe I’ll add some salsa and chips too so I don’t get scurvy.. see I can be sensible!
One thing that should be noted is that Things Can Always Get Worse.
I’m a firm believer in taking fifteen pairs of knickers on an overnight trip so with that in mind, y’all might want to put this advice into practise at the first sign of a light shower. You know… Just In Case..
I sincerely hope hurricanes don’t turn into even worse events like Sharknados. That would be dreadful but Lobsternado would be worth staying put for.
Shrimpnado would be pretty good too but knowing my luck I’d get Disney-Cruise-Ship-Nado and have to endure never ending ‘Its A Small World After All’.
Note to self: Stock up on butter and cocktail sauce ingredients as well.
If I was running a generator I’d totally use it for TV and ice for my drinks. I can sit in the dark watching tv because you can’t see how much you’re guzzling in the dark ANNNND… the calories can’t see their way out of food! Win, win.
For the best hurricane experience evacuate the kids and hubby to the mother in law. The hurricane will pass very quickly for you if not for them and you’ll have the added bonus of being Really Appreciated for a few days!
It’ll kind of be a spa break. If the waters get high enough you can dangle your feet off the roof and let little fishes eat the dead skin off them like at those funky spa doo dads. DO NOT do this in the event of a Sharknado, Lobsternado or Shrimpnado though.
Fake News reporters should be strung up and shot. Seriously. Or left out as bait for the lobsternado. When they trivialise real events with lies and sensationalism they stop people leaving next time. They directly cause lives in danger or being lost. They should be culpable for manslaughter. They’d soon stop.
Looters – just shoot them. They’re the scum of the Earth and I don’t care if it’s not nice to wish people dead. If you can steal from people during life or death situations then tough shit. I hope you get shot.
Of course the added bonus with hurricanes is – work premises are all shut! It’s like extra holiday… Glamping even!