Don’t Make Me Go To Walmart!!

~ the britchy one

Sooooo I went to Walmart yesterday. I thought it would be nice to buy some stationery (school supplies) for my nieces because they love that stuff. I can get them things here none of their friends have. It’s fun.

I am not equipped for thinking OR Walmart. In spite of previous disgrace and mortification I STILL cocked up. Proof of ever it was needed that you just can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

This time it was different though.

This time I asked for scented rubbers…. *sigh*

Adding “kids like them better when they smell nice” didn’t help the situation really either 😦

Note to self: You live in America dumbass. They’re ERASERS here. Rubbers are a completely different product..

Published by the britchy one

A PROUD American Citizen who was born and bred in England and now resides in the US. I’m married to an American who really didn’t have a clue what he was letting himself in for - poor sod! I’m a cranky bitch who loves cats and books and hates chocolate, politics and Dave’s. Oh and mosquitos. I hate those blood sucking parasites but since I’ve already mentioned politics I’m repeating myself! I’m a short, skinny redhead, 3 kids, 2 dogs, not enough cats and a mouth with a death wish. Blood group - certifiable.

48 thoughts on “Don’t Make Me Go To Walmart!!”

    1. It’s so easy to use a wrong word when my mind is on the other side of the Atlantic! I didn’t even think about it until after I explained it and even then it was only the stunned/horrified look on her face that made me give pause.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  3. Lmao omg hilarious. I would have looked at you funny but eventually would have worked out. And you could have been asking for rubber boots. I have tears right now. You would be my favorite customer ever if you shipped at my store.💕💕😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. OMG! 😂 🤣 I currently have my windows open because the weather is glorious today. I think I just scared the guy that is walking his dog, because I read this and busted a gut laughing so hard! You by far are hilarious!!!
    Thank you for just making my day!!! 😂 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. BWAHAHAHHAHA!!! Oh I think I hurt myself. This has garnered you a reblog (not that you asked nor probably need one)….and I provided some sub-text to that story. “Right next to the Trojan Ribbed or the Ultra Suede on Aisle XX”……*snicker*….hee hee hee. Or did they refer you to the galoshes (aka rain boots, over shoes) section?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Pingback: Wal*Mart Sarky | sparksfromacombustiblemind

  19. I was making a tincture from fruit extracts just recently and I needed a cheesecloth to strain the fruit. Even though I looked up the aisle it should be in online, I still couldn’t find it. I ran into an employee and asked about a cheesecloth. I thought he was deaf because he kept looking at my mouth. As if he could read it better than hear it. He kept pronouncing bits and parts of the word as if he was playing charades and guessing what I was saying. I tried to explain what it’s used for, but that didn’t help either. Fruits are not supposed to be strained. Luckily, the manager was passing by in time for the employee to ask if he knew where the… *looks at me for help* cheeseclo- I manage to say and the manager was already leading me towards the correct aisle. The employee left behind thought we were aliens.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. Depending on the age of that first employee, he might not have known what you were talking about. No offense to the few well read and literate young people in America, but the majority I’ve encountered can’t spell and don’t know what I consider ‘common’ words. Cheesecloth being one of them. Wow.

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

      1. The employee was middle-aged. It flabbergasted him how cheese and cloth can be in the same sentence, let alone word. He thought I was asking for a particular type of cheese.
        I guess if you spend your whole life in the city and don’t cook, you might not need such a cloth. How would you know how cheese is made?

        Liked by 3 people

Leave a reply to the britchy one Cancel reply