So….. I’d gone on a day trip to France to shop when my kids were really little, Fartichoke was only about six weeks old so Brid was just over a year old. Yes, there isn’t a year between them. It explains a lot about my sanity doesn’t it?!
Anyway it was the end of the day and it was cold and dark. We are sitting in the car at the ferry port and the french jobsworths* wouldn’t let us onto the boat. They wouldn’t let us sit with our engines running to keep the car warm either -God only knows why, we were outside – so you can imagine how rotten it was.
This went on for a couple of hours and then it got “aromatic” in the car!! Not one but two dirty bums! The car was full of shopping, I had two car seats and no where to change an infant without leaving a car door open which was not an option in that cold.
I got out of my car and went storming up to the jobsworth at the front of the lines of cars. I was not a Happy Britchy and some little snot rag was about to find that out. Everyone else started winding down their windows to listen!
I DEMANDED (with menaces) somewhere to change my children. Pepe le Peu saw this angry little woman and backed right off! He said I could use his car so I went and got the kids and my changing bag and walked back to his car. Everyone else was clapping and shouting “way to go!” etc.
Anyway.. HIS bloody engine was running and HIS bloody car was nice and warm.. and that was when the red mist came down.
What happens next was his fault not mine.
Well.. you know how it is when you are cold and your fingers don’t move so well?
Well.. I must’ve dropped each of those shitty nappies face down onto the floor of his car a couple of times.. butterfingers or what? I found it really hard to pick them up too and seemed to rub them around a bit.. because my hands were SOOOO cold obviously!
It seems in my haste to get back to MY car I forgot to pick up those nappies too.. they must’ve got shoved under a seat or something as I was scrabbling around.
I was VERY careful to make sure I turned the heating up to the highest setting and also turn the fans on full in case it cooled down as I got in and out of the car.. see.. I can be thoughtful!!
Everyone else noticed that I wasn’t carring dirty nappies as I went back to my car too judging by the beeping and raised thumbs and I like to think I raised everyone’s morale even if I did sod all for the entente cordiale between France and the UK!!
*Jobsworth – an odious little guttersnipe who aims to be as unhelpful as possible. Named after those who just keeps stating “its more than my jobs worth”