I regret to inform you that the ‘give a shit’ fairy passed away. She was (unfortunately) survived by ‘everyone else’s mom’, ‘somebody told me’ and ‘I read it on the internet’ Sadly, she was predeceased by, common sense, manners, tact and keeping-your-knees-together-on-first-dates. The give-a-shit fairy will be remembered for her contributions to coping with family … Continue reading An O’Britch-uary…
Here I am, like a bad penny! It’s been a hectic couple of weeks of non stop cooking, cleaning up and stopping fights. I’m pretty sure my daughter, Princess PITA could fall out with herself if left in a room alone. I’d be a great flippin’ peace Ambassador after putting out all the ‘fires’ she … Continue reading Be Safe, Not Sorry
Dear Walmart, You assholes. Can we get Christmas and New Year over before we start on flippin' St Valentine's Day? God forbid you miss a sale you fat, lard-arsed, money-grabbing wankers Love Britchy
Who remembers way back in the olden days - those prehistoric times when we had dial up modems - 28.8 was scorchingly fast. Windows 95 was the hot ticket, Netscape and ICQ - It was the Bronze Age Of Internet-ery and no one wanted to admit to being online as the internet was only for … Continue reading Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..
That loveable rogue, A Guy Called Bloke asked a question that I just had to answer. What’s something that your brain tries to make you do, say or think and you have to exercise all your strength to NOT do it? Well I think we all know I have zero impulse control when it comes … Continue reading Wait!!! …you said WHAT?!
I was walking Daisy this afternoon and I heard a guy talking on his cell "I'm his first gay bear" Well that caught my attention but the bugger got across the road quicker than me and I didn't hear anymore. I was intrigued. Gay Bear?? I had to go to Aunty Google asap and apparently … Continue reading Of Mice and Men? More like Rats and Rascals!
*Sigh* Being of unsound mind and body I decided to clear out some kitchen cupboards. I found my old two slice black toaster so left it on the counter because I'm going to give it to my son. My black handbag is also in the counter. On my way to get dressed to go shopping … Continue reading Heated Conversation??
So I have this friend who we'll call ‘Mary Hinge’ (cos that's not her name) My girl has a bit of a disability. She's deaf. She must be. She didn't listen to my Anglo Saxon monologue warning and went and got herself married. Sentenced to life by a gold band and a big cake. Now … Continue reading Monkey Business
I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven't had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell. I got a call from someone overseas - you … Continue reading My Career as a Scammer Exterminator
You know how it is when your kids? You think your Parents know everything. They see through every fib you tell, they know every scrap of naughtiness - heck they even know the nine times multiplication table!! The Oracle at Delphi had nothing on Parents and especially not my Dad. He saw through everything. He … Continue reading Tarzan and The Chandelier
I thought of so many titles for this post. ‘Riding in Buggies with Bonnets’ was a favorite but I went with the above because it really is a synopsis of this tale! A lot of people don’t realize that NY has a very large Amish community. They’re all over the state, from the Hudson Valley … Continue reading Up Thy Butterchurn! – Or When Pennsylvania Dutch Met a Touch of the Gaelic
BLOODY DECORATING! Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram - you all have a lot to answer for! Oh and you all SUCK!! I'm not one of Mother Nature's natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap … Continue reading A Remorseful Tale of Repurpose, Repaint, Regret.. and Replace!!