..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
Blondie knew what she was talking about! Nothing is as irritating when you're trying to read than incessant phone calls. Particularly when they're asshat sales calls of fuckwittage. This doesn't bring out my best side. I have reading rabies. Don't believe me? Interrupt me mid chapter and diagnose it for yourself! A day in the … Continue reading Don’t Leave Me Hangin’ On The Telephone…
I might have been a little bit naughty. Or Educational, take your pick. One of my friends who shall remain nameless (male and thicker than poo!!) was posting that his internet was really slow. Being "helpful" I told him his posts weren't showing up and that he must be was having connectivity issues and to … Continue reading Earth Men Are Easy
Scooby Doo always comes to mind when I see Mystery Blogger. This is no bad thing because I love Scooby Doo (and that counts as number one of three things about me!) I was nom-de-nom’d by none other than the Captain of Comedy, the King of Kerfuffle, the hot dog, jumping frog of Albuquerque Albuquerque … Continue reading Weird Ass Wednesdays and The Mystery Blogger
Okay so yes. We all know KNOW I'm evil - and I KNOW I'm going straight to hell but - Someone just called my cell phone and didn’t give me a chance to speak before stating very peremptorily "Hello I need to see the doctor for my constipation” Now in my defence, she didn’t give … Continue reading Paging Dr Britchy!!
I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven't had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell. I got a call from someone overseas - you … Continue reading My Career as a Scammer Exterminator
I would like to announce I have been good all day and haven't done or thought any bad things. I would like to announce I didn’t put a sticker on the back of ‘im indoors car saying “Passion Wagon. Don’t laugh, your daughter might be in the back” I would like to announce I haven't … Continue reading On behaving beautifully
BLOODY DECORATING! Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram - you all have a lot to answer for! Oh and you all SUCK!! I'm not one of Mother Nature's natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap … Continue reading A Remorseful Tale of Repurpose, Repaint, Regret.. and Replace!!
Many years ago, when I was still living in England, I worked for Her Majesty’s Prison Service. I was a clerical officer and dealt with a wide range of services from Throughcare, Prisoners wages and Education to my main role which was Discipline. Yes I was a Discipline Administrative Officer in an all male prison! … Continue reading The Lunatics are Taking Over The Asylum..
I've just seen a status update from a friend that reminded me of some of the shit Titselina Bumsqueak and I got up to in our younger days.. umm that would be "Clarissa Pumpernickel" and "Penelope Farquar" ACTUALLY because TB and I were little angels of course *dodges thunderbolt* (and yes - we really DID give those … Continue reading Oh Yes, it’s LADEEEZ Night..
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 