Driving With My Dad

I’ve realized a lot of things on this trip to see my Dad, not all of them great! He’s turned into a Mister Magoo with Tourette’s while driving for instance. How I’m still alive, well – I just don’t know!

I now know this:

I remember more prayers than I ever thought I knew

They have words in them I’ve never heard in prayers before

I know where I get my command of profanity. It’s genetic.

I never knew before but I think Dad’s a fan of showjumping. He sure is great with the old ‘Harvey Smith’s’

Everyone else on the road is a feckin eejit

I don’t want to die

I have far greater bladder control than I knew

Ditto on the old derrière

I need a bubble wrap suit

Next year I’m hiring a car.

42 thoughts on “Driving With My Dad

  1. So funny! And I know exactly what you mean. My wonderful sweet British friend turned into a monster when she got behind the wheel… cursing, yelling at people, leaning on the horn. It was a real revelation to me…. like that old Goofy cartoon of the mild mannered man walking out of his house and turning into a demon when he got in his car.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Too funny.
    Things are so much more magnified when you’re not a driver. I hold on to dear life when I drive as a passenger with a couple of people, when THEY are the passenger and I am driving, they get grey hair straight away. Go figure.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I feel your pain. My husband is the king of aggressive drivers and I constantly ride with my hand on the door (pretend steering wheel) and my foot jammed in the floor well. (pretend brake). But he doesn’t have Tourettes or use hand gestures, so your dad still wins.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. LMAO! Sounds like you need headgear, a NASCAR flame-retardant jumpsuit, NASA astronaut seat belts, an “OH S***T” handle and a couple shots of Jameson. Good to hear that the pelvic floor muscles are strong… 🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is sooo Ryan! For the most part I’m the boring old lady driver, listening to her audio book… 😇 but Ryan is always blaring his music, hauling ass everywhere, begging’ for an accident. 🤠

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what I say otherwise he doesn’t get dinner 🤣 he usually doesn’t listen to me either 🤷‍♀️ what can you do after all these years together honestly I just ignore him 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 works well

        Liked by 2 people

  6. From experience, I find that even the most quiet, gentle and kind people often become aggressive drivers when behind a steering wheel. Other Finding: It’s amazing how many tasks you can do when you get angry while driving: talking, swearing, pointing fingers, speeding up to catch a car that has cut us off, insulting others, honking … That’s what I call true multitasking. Your post shows all of this in a hilarious way.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I forgot that one! That’s because I rarely wear lipstick. Once, I saw a woman putting mascara while driving… With the kids sitting in the back! We do not all have the same priorities obviously.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s awful! I will drink (soda) while driving or eat candy but that’s IT. I don’t use the phone except as a GPS (programmes before the journey!) I don’t eat anything that requires holding or drink hot drinks because they are all distracting. If I have kids in the car I drive like they are rotten eggs! I don’t understand some people 🙄

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I do not understand either… I sometimes feel that people do not even bother to think a little about the consequences of their actions. Others think they are totally invincible. The behavior of the mother (I presume she was the mother) totally upset me.

        Liked by 1 person

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