..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
A Guy Called Bloke started a truly fun little tag whereby he gives a theme to quote on and tags three people and we see how far we can take it! It’s great fun and the rules are easy: • Thank the Selector • Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day. • … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me!!
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
The fantabulous wordsmith, Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this intriguing tag. I’ve really enjoyed this and I’m sad to get to day three. Do you follow Kristian? You absolutely should. He’s one of my absolute favourite bloggers , one of the very few I make sure to keep … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Three
The ever amazing Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this fabulous tag. Pick three song lyrics that mean something to you and share them over three days. I’m currently down in North Carolina again and while I was driving around Raleigh today I started reminiscing about places and people. … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Two
I’ve been nominated by the ever fantastic Kristian of Tales From The Mind of Kristian . If you haven’t found Kristian’s blog yet, you’re missing out. He’s absolutely one of my top ten favourite blogs. The rules of this tag are: Thank the person who nominated you Post 1 quote (song lyric) each day for … Continue reading Three Song Lyrics, Three Days – Day One
George was special from the moment he was born. I had adopted a stray who I called Prader Willi (because that cat ate EVERYTHING) She was pregnant and I was going to get her spayed when she had had her kittens. She had four kittens. One black, One black and white, one tabby and one … Continue reading The Story Of George, The Ginger Stealer Of Hearts.
I was nominated by one of my top ten favourite bloggers Tales From The Mind of Kristian to take part in a challenge created by another top ten blogger A Guy Called Bloke for a very interesting challenge “Ancient Authors” The rules are simple, as always: •Choose the author or philosopher (it should be one from … Continue reading A Greek Tragedy – Ancient Authors Challenge
I was nominated by Okie-Dokie-Bloke who is, coincidentally, the creator of this game! Here’s what he has to say: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and nominate 3 bloggers, who in … Continue reading 3.2.1 Quote Me! #2
There’s a new Challenge in town!! 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke Here’s what he has to say about it: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and … Continue reading 3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
....And that was just the therapist. Ever had one of those days where your mouth is ten steps ahead of your common sense? All.The.Flippin.Time I was at the physical therapists yesterday. I wasn’t looking forward to it, I’d had a bad night and couldn’t sleep with pain so whilst I started off smiley and polite.. … Continue reading Physical Therapy – It’s Only a Little Prick..
I was down in NC (amongst other places) last week and I stayed with my son Fartichoke and his friends. For some obscure reason his friends love me and all have to visit every time I’m down which led to many sunrise bedtimes.. I’m getting too old for that crap! Fartichoke was telling stories of … Continue reading How I Upset EVERYONE!!
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/24/18
I was nominated by both Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees, if you need a good laugh or to get lost for a couple of hours there’s no better way to do it!! RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you •Post one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/20/18
I was nominated by the inimitable Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles. These are blogs I enjoy a lot and I’m thrilled to get a nom from them! I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees. RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day one quote for … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/19/18
I was nominated by two lovely ladies Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles so with much joy, I get to play again!! I’d love you to check their blogs out and also my nominees. You won't be sorry!! RULES: 1. Thank the person who nominated you. 2. Post one quote per day one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/18/18
I had a lovely long conversation with Titselina Bumsqueak who reminded me of several ‘Things I Have Done’. Honestly, sometimes it feels like she just doesn’t appreciate the lengths I go to and the depths I plummet for her benefit. I was visiting her and we’d gone into the small seaside town she lives in … Continue reading How To Liven Up Grocery Shopping – Or NOT..
Inside every one of us there's a light that shines sparkles and fizzes. It doesn't matter how old you are, your weight, colour, race or IQ. We all have the ability to make someone else's day magical. I met a man today in the car park at Walmart. He was with a group of like … Continue reading When Lovely Turns Ugly
Sadly this is day three of what is really a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/13/18
This is such a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to take part in the challenge. I’ve … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – O5/12/18
For many this is one of the most bittersweet holidays in the year. We've either lost a mother, we have kids in situations neither they or we wanted to be in or our kids are too far away or too busy to find time for us. Some of us have never been mothers, some of … Continue reading A Thought for Mothers Day
I actually have a few of these so I’m going to do them two at a time. I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/11/18.
Yeah really! Fat chance my friends! FAT!! CHANCE!! I realized I hadn’t completed this nomination from That Guy Called Bloke which is disgraceful. I can’t believe I missed it, I love his nominations because they’re so much fun - his questions are a riot! This brings me to the boring bit. Rules. I generally don’t … Continue reading A Liebster a Day Makes Me Behave..
Daisy is in disgrace. At least that’s MY version! In hers she’s a total badass!! We went out for a walk a little while ago, it’s a nice evening, a little chilly for my liking but we walked on the sunny side of the street to try and get the best out of it. This … Continue reading Give a dog a bone..
Kids have such a lovely way of both surprising and shaming us at the same time don’t they?! When mine were little, I was waiting at the school gates, as you do! My 6 year old daughter (at the time) arrived but I still had to wait for my son. At the top of her … Continue reading Kids Say The Darnedest Things!!
I was walking Daisy this afternoon and I heard a guy talking on his cell "I'm his first gay bear" Well that caught my attention but the bugger got across the road quicker than me and I didn't hear anymore. I was intrigued. Gay Bear?? I had to go to Aunty Google asap and apparently … Continue reading Of Mice and Men? More like Rats and Rascals!
*Sigh* Being of unsound mind and body I decided to clear out some kitchen cupboards. I found my old two slice black toaster so left it on the counter because I'm going to give it to my son. My black handbag is also in the counter. On my way to get dressed to go shopping … Continue reading Heated Conversation??
Today was the day. Seeing the bone doctor about my shoulders. I was dreading it. I hadn’t thought about it before but I suddenly realized - there was a definite risk of pain. By the time I’d actually got to the Doctors offices I’d worked myself up into a right state. Once again we had … Continue reading Atlas Shrugged…. Lucky Bloody Atlas!!
This post is dedicated, with much love, to.. I think you all know who you are. A lot of the amazing blogs that I follow have been posting lately about addiction and it’s effect on their lives. Mothers of addicts, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives... And it breaks my heart because the over riding emotions are … Continue reading Give Me The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read Monday and Tuesdays posts you’ll know that this is one of my favorite blogs. Enjoy!! Today’s quote comes from Charles H Spurgeon and it’s how I want to live. ‘Carve your name on hearts, not marble’
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read yesterday’s quote, you’ll know that a) it was one of my favorite quotes and b) this is one of my favorite blogs. Off you go for a tiptoe through a garden of delights! My quote for today is from a … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – Day Two 05/01/18.
Have you ever done anything you’re deeply ashamed of? When I was five or six I went to a birthday party. I went to lots of birthday parties! They all followed a pattern. Pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey, sandwiches, sausages rolls, crisps, cakes and biscuits - singing happy birthday and going … Continue reading Shame?? – me too.
We've had quite a bit of rain so far today. I just took my little dog Daisy out for her eleven millionth piddle of the day and we met a frog. She was a little intimidated at first but then desperately wanted to play and make friends. Froggy wasn't having any of it though. He … Continue reading Daisy and the Frog Prince
Things were going entirely too well round here. It had been days or at least hours since my last mortification - I should have known it couldn't last!! It was a "lovely" day today. Temps reached the heady heights of 58F (14C) here in the frozen Norf. I almost discarded one of my three pairs … Continue reading Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
Having compiled quotes from US Presidents and British Prime Ministers, I’m finishing my little series with a homage to who I consider, the greatest of them all. Winston Churchill was an incredible man. He pushed amazing reforms through. He truly fought for the underdog and I believe he carried the Brits through WW2 with the … Continue reading The World According to Winston
They knew a thing or two didn't they?! I've read a few quotes lately and found a fair few from US Presidents - so I thought I'd make a list! On Unemployment A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to … Continue reading Those ol’ Presidents..
Okay so yes. We all know KNOW I'm evil - and I KNOW I'm going straight to hell but - Someone just called my cell phone and didn’t give me a chance to speak before stating very peremptorily "Hello I need to see the doctor for my constipation” Now in my defence, she didn’t give … Continue reading Paging Dr Britchy!!
I was asked a question recently after spending a great deal of time helping someone with a problem they just couldn’t understand. It was.. challenging and I’ll be honest, very annoying because it was really simple. Eventually I found a way to help them understand thankfully. Afterwards I was asked why I bothered, “it wasn’t … Continue reading Be a Virus
I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven't had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell. I got a call from someone overseas - you … Continue reading My Career as a Scammer Exterminator
The LoCarb Diet, The Five-Two Diet, (SH)Atkins, Paleo, Dukan.. You know how it is girls, we've all tried all sorts of diets and none of them have made us happy. I decided it’s time to rewrite dieting. Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured so I give you this. The new and improved "I'm … Continue reading Does my Blog look big in this??
I am thrilled to be nominated for this by The Blogging Detective I’m sticking with songs for day two and I’m taking you on a trip in the way back machine to the 80’s with Hazel O’Connor and Eighth Day Apart from this song being so much fun to sing along to it was a … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – Day Two
I was absolutely delighted to be nominated for this by The Blogging Detective - thank you so much! When times have been tough quotes and music have sustained me. From Winston Churchill ‘When you’re going through Hell, keep going’ to Billy Ocean ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. One of the songs … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – Day One
You know how it is when your kids? You think your Parents know everything. They see through every fib you tell, they know every scrap of naughtiness - heck they even know the nine times multiplication table!! The Oracle at Delphi had nothing on Parents and especially not my Dad. He saw through everything. He … Continue reading Tarzan and The Chandelier
I had a problem with money disappearing out of my purse a couple of years ago. Ten bucks here, Twenty there, it was very annoying. Apart from the obvious ‘someone was stealing’ part, I’d go to look for cash and there wouldn’t be any. If anyone had asked for the money I’d have given it … Continue reading To Catch a Rat..
I thought of so many titles for this post. ‘Riding in Buggies with Bonnets’ was a favorite but I went with the above because it really is a synopsis of this tale! A lot of people don’t realize that NY has a very large Amish community. They’re all over the state, from the Hudson Valley … Continue reading Up Thy Butterchurn! – Or When Pennsylvania Dutch Met a Touch of the Gaelic
Well - mostly behaving beautifully. That counts. It’s been a very sedate April Fools Day in the oul Britchy Homestead. Someone - ‘im indoors - has been on edge ALL day waiting for a prank. I think my ducksay prank yesterday was ill-timed because it reminded him that April Fools was upon us! So just … Continue reading Behaving beautifully on April Fools Day
After reading this, I know that from now on if you hear a train has been delayed, you'll be wondering what the rotten swines of crew did! Farquhar Bastardcelot was a train driver. He used to drive trains through the Channel Tunnel. He was a total brown nose and he found out that his supervisor … Continue reading The train on platform 9 has been delayed..
I have been really good for the last few days. I haven’t scared the mailman, or pissed off next doors dog, or thrown gas-ex or condoms or any other “how did that get there?” items in anyone’s shopping cart... I haven't even slung my phone across the room when it kept misspelling what I was … Continue reading Easter Ducking About..
So far since living in the US I haven’t had any truck with the Joeys*. Maybe it’s because we lived in the middle of a largely Amish community when I first moved here. There’s no explanation why we’re escaping their visits now though, unless either my reputation proceeds me or they aren’t as tenuous here … Continue reading Miss Manners (UN)Guide to Answering the Door
Yes you guessed it. Another story from Ireland - because frankly, where else could this stuff go down? So it was a Saturday night and we were off to Ballygobackwards to see a really great local band. There was me, Titselina Bumsqueak and my cousin, Saoirse* O’Milk all glammed, glittered and nearly scuttered with the … Continue reading The Gig, the Jig and Stealing a Hearse
Titselina Bumsqueak, Fat Sharon and I used to haunt The Empire in Leicester Square on Friday nights. It was a sacred tradition, a no boyfriends invited, girls night out. It was the 80’s, Pina Coladas, enough make up to paint a bridge, shoulder pads and heels so high you needed oxygen to walk in them! … Continue reading Chips, Coppers and High Heeled Croppers
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge. Day 3
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge -Day 2
I believe in the kingdom come Then all the colours will bleed into one - U2 ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ I was nominated for this challenge by MissMWriter and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge.
It really is a wonderful world. I'm sharing this today as a reminder to me that no culture is made up of purely bad people. There are good people everywhere, you just have to look. Years ago when the kids were very small I used to have foreign language students to stay while they were … Continue reading Roast Chicken – the Answer to World Peace.
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
My youngest son, Thmellyarthe, was a very precocious reader. He was able to read first reading books at the age of three. I used to play with him as we’d be walking around the supermarket asking him to tell me when we were in aisle three,count tins of beans, find me the orange packet of … Continue reading The Coffee Table, The Ex and The Voice of Doom
So..... I'd gone on a day trip to France to shop when my kids were really little, Fartichoke was only about six weeks old so Brid was just over a year old. Yes, there isn't a year between them. It explains a lot about my sanity doesn't it?! Anyway it was the end of the … Continue reading Entente UN Cordiale…
I saw an ex coworker yesterday who I haven't seen since before Christmas. He was a little upset with me. Before Christmas he was complaining about his wife. He was saying she was always bitching at him and she seemed to have PMS 24/7. (Married to him, I’m not surprised..) Naturally my sympathies were with … Continue reading You Just Can’t Help Some People!!
Tonight I asked ‘im indoors what he wanted to take to work for his lunch tomorrow. “Oh ....anything” he said offhandedly. I was quite peeved by this but - I had a golden moment. One of those moments where instead of going ballistic faster than the speed of light I actually stopped myself - and … Continue reading Sandwiches, Shoe Polish and Schaden Freude
Ive been asked a few times why I chose my blog name “Bitchin’ in the Kitchen” People seem to think I should perceive it as derogatory to use the word “bitch”. Here’s my reply. The expression “to bitch” is used in England to describe moaning, grumbling, whining etc. You can have a good old bitch … Continue reading Why I’m Bitchin’ in the Kitchen
I’ve seen so many posts lately from people wanting to change their place in society. Whilst I don’t think that bad at all, I absolutely do think people need to be very honest with themselves about their motivation. Is it a desire to be a better version of you? A more rounded human being? Or … Continue reading Contentment, Happiness and why I don’t want to be the Boss of You!
BLOODY DECORATING! Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram - you all have a lot to answer for! Oh and you all SUCK!! I'm not one of Mother Nature's natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap … Continue reading A Remorseful Tale of Repurpose, Repaint, Regret.. and Replace!!
Yes you read that right. You know how sometimes things seem like a good idea but then they’re not? Yeah. Me too! Before we moved to this house, we had a tiny utility room. Because of the stupid way the fuse boards and venting were put in, it was big enough for the washer and … Continue reading Sitting in the Tumble Drier..
Sometimes people can’t grasp the concept of why we stayed with toxic people. I say “WE” because I was a battered spouse. I had so many bones broken that I stopped counting - yet I didn’t leave.. When you’re in the middle of a war zone all you can think about is a safe place … Continue reading Domestic Abuse
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago - one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!! I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He … Continue reading Advice – Britchy Style!!
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement... not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes. I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again … Continue reading Things I want my kids to know..
I’m going to share an incident that happened when I drove my son back down to North Carolina last month. It’s kind of funny re-imagining it now but the underlying story is anything but. As I was driving down to NC I was getting sicker and sicker. I was developing a migraine so we stopped … Continue reading Let’s be careful out there
Lil was my best friends mum and today would have been Lil's 96th birthday. She might have been Titselina Bumsqueaks mum but she was as good as mine too. As far as she was concerned I was one of hers. Oh how I loved her and miss her. She had a bloody hard life. She … Continue reading The Ever Wonderful Lil
Growing up under the NHS in London was great. Until it wasn’t. Raging Despots of Doctors receptionists. Doctors with God complex’s. Nurses who idolised the piggin’ idiots and made them even more delusional if possible! Oh and let’s not forget the ever present cup of tea. I’m quite sure they even stopped operations for surgeons … Continue reading The Out Patient Appointment..
*Sigh* Welcome to the latest round of The Bitchy One's "You-Couldn't-Make-This-Shit-Up.." I was back in England visiting my best friend and I’d gone shopping. While I was walking around in town I went into a sweet shop (candy store) to buy a curly wurly. I decided I could indulge myself! They had all kinds of … Continue reading Axis of Evil Cupcakes.
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player! My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out. By that I mean it was a weeknight because we … Continue reading If Music be the Food of Love?
I was in Wegmans today (not the one in Canandaigua, I’m being “discreet”) to get a few things and I wandered past the cooking oils. I’d been having a little chat with my best fiend, The Man In Black a couple of weeks back about the price of Duck Fat (no do NOT reverse the … Continue reading Further Adventures in Wegmans.. was
Today Karma was my bestie. Nothing beats being a messenger of vengeance. I don’t even think I could have had as much fun with my holy rolling pin of retribution - although maybe I should just see... hmmm... My daughters ex beat her up badly, he broke her knee and fractured her neck and left … Continue reading Wanker nil – Karma 8 million
I read today that people are unfollowing celebrities in their millions.... GOOD!!! I’m so sick of “celebrities”. They’re absolute parasites. Who the tell do they think they are to preach? All this recent stuff with black hoochie mama dresses and white roses... hypocrites. All this hype about the shit they have had to do to … Continue reading Eff You “Me too”
Well this is a bit strange..
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 