You know how it is when your kids? You think your Parents know everything. They see through every fib you tell, they know every scrap of naughtiness - heck they even know the nine times multiplication table!! The Oracle at Delphi had nothing on Parents and especially not my Dad. He saw through everything. He … Continue reading Tarzan and The Chandelier
I decided I wanted to create my own form of recognition. Not linked to anyone else’s rules. Not one that requires the recipient to do anything. Just something from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment and empathy I’ve come to expect. I intend posting these recommendations twice a … Continue reading Recommended Blog of the Day 04/05/18
I had a problem with money disappearing out of my purse a couple of years ago. Ten bucks here, Twenty there, it was very annoying. Apart from the obvious ‘someone was stealing’ part, I’d go to look for cash and there wouldn’t be any. If anyone had asked for the money I’d have given it … Continue reading To Catch a Rat..
I thought of so many titles for this post. ‘Riding in Buggies with Bonnets’ was a favorite but I went with the above because it really is a synopsis of this tale! A lot of people don’t realize that NY has a very large Amish community. They’re all over the state, from the Hudson Valley … Continue reading Up Thy Butterchurn! – Or When Pennsylvania Dutch Met a Touch of the Gaelic
Well - mostly behaving beautifully. That counts. It’s been a very sedate April Fools Day in the oul Britchy Homestead. Someone - ‘im indoors - has been on edge ALL day waiting for a prank. I think my ducksay prank yesterday was ill-timed because it reminded him that April Fools was upon us! So just … Continue reading Behaving beautifully on April Fools Day
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day – 04/01/18
After reading this, I know that from now on if you hear a train has been delayed, you'll be wondering what the rotten swines of crew did! Farquhar Bastardcelot was a train driver. He used to drive trains through the Channel Tunnel. He was a total brown nose and he found out that his supervisor … Continue reading The train on platform 9 has been delayed..
I have been really good for the last few days. I haven’t scared the mailman, or pissed off next doors dog, or thrown gas-ex or condoms or any other “how did that get there?” items in anyone’s shopping cart... I haven't even slung my phone across the room when it kept misspelling what I was … Continue reading Easter Ducking About..
I decided I wanted to create my own form of recognition. Not linked to anyone else’s rules. Not one that requires the recipient to do anything. Just something from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment and empathy I’ve come to expect. I intend posting these recommendations twice a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day – 03/29/18
So far since living in the US I haven’t had any truck with the Joeys*. Maybe it’s because we lived in the middle of a largely Amish community when I first moved here. There’s no explanation why we’re escaping their visits now though, unless either my reputation proceeds me or they aren’t as tenuous here … Continue reading Miss Manners (UN)Guide to Answering the Door
🎶 Welcome to the Song Off 🎶 Okay Everyone, I think you’ve probably all worked out by now that I’m NEVER one to resist a challenge!! ( yes I probably would jump off a cliff if dared - I’ve fallen off one in Cornwall before!) This challenge was invented by the inimitable Swerve with help … Continue reading Song Off Music Challenge!!
It was November of 2012 which you may remember, was a Presidential Election year here in the US. I hadn’t even had my green card for a year at this point but I still wanted to be a part of the Electoral Process so, I was planning to go with my husband when he went … Continue reading How Obama Broke My Bones
Yes you guessed it. Another story from Ireland - because frankly, where else could this stuff go down? So it was a Saturday night and we were off to Ballygobackwards to see a really great local band. There was me, Titselina Bumsqueak and my cousin, Saoirse* O’Milk all glammed, glittered and nearly scuttered with the … Continue reading The Gig, the Jig and Stealing a Hearse
Da Naaa!! Guess what I got?! I was nominated by Dezz at Fit in Stilettos who has an awesome blog about healthy living that’s humorous and fun to read. Hop over and take a look - with or without stilettos! There are “rules” with accepting this award which I’ve listed below BUT!! I want to … Continue reading Sunshine Blogger Award
When Fartichoke was a little lad we’d go to visit his dads mum. She was one of those that liked blue toilet water. Yeah. THEM! She’d have those plastic thingies that hang over rims of toilets under the seat and turn the water blue when you flush. Personally, I thought the lads aiming at them … Continue reading Fartichoke, The Thunder Box and The Aliens From Uranus.
Titselina Bumsqueak, Fat Sharon and I used to haunt The Empire in Leicester Square on Friday nights. It was a sacred tradition, a no boyfriends invited, girls night out. It was the 80’s, Pina Coladas, enough make up to paint a bridge, shoulder pads and heels so high you needed oxygen to walk in them! … Continue reading Chips, Coppers and High Heeled Croppers
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge. Day 3
Carrying on my with my Blog of the day - which is actually my twice a week award, I'd like to introduce you to today's recipient. This recognition is not something that requires the recipient to do anything. Its an acknowledgement from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day – 03/25/18
I was nominated for this challenge by Miss M Writer and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people each day to also share quotes. I’m picking people who I’m very sure will pick quotes I can’t wait to read so … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge -Day 2
Well this is a first for this award! Obviously no one thinks I’m lovely except Stephen Writer who now thinks I’m a fruit loop! Stephen writes about his perspective on life and also reviews books in an in depth manner I really like. I hope you enjoy browsing through his site! So as always here … Continue reading One Lovely Blogger Award
I believe in the kingdom come Then all the colours will bleed into one - U2 ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ I was nominated for this challenge by MissMWriter and I love it. It gives me a chance to share three quotes I love. One per day, and to nominate three people … Continue reading 3 Days, 3 Quotes challenge.
It really is a wonderful world. I'm sharing this today as a reminder to me that no culture is made up of purely bad people. There are good people everywhere, you just have to look. Years ago when the kids were very small I used to have foreign language students to stay while they were … Continue reading Roast Chicken – the Answer to World Peace.
I’ve been nominated by two awesome bloggers for a Versatile Blogger award! Historian Ruby is an absolute favorite. I love her blogs on everything from Witchcraft to Royalty! There truly is something for everyone here! The Nicky Experience - she’s reviewing the world but not in a way you’d expect! From volunteering at a Thai … Continue reading The Versatile Blogger Award
I’m delighted to say I’ve been nominated for a Sunshine Blogger Award. I really enjoy the fun of answering and setting questions and especially sharing blogs I’m enjoying in the hopes you will find them interesting too. I was nominated by A Guy Called Bloke who is, frankly, a nutcase in the nicest possible way … Continue reading A Sunshine Blogger Award
It never fails to amaze me that anyone will ask me for relationship advice. Then again, with the amount of weirdos I’ve attracted over the years I should be expert at spotting them. My wanker magnet is second to none it seems! I’ve decided to make a series of posts on relationships to serve as … Continue reading Britchy Advice on Dating and Marriage.
I’ve decided I want to create my own form of recognition. Not linked to anyone else’s rules. Not one that requires the recipient to do anything. Just something from me to you that’s a heartfelt and sincere appreciation of the entertainment, enlightenment and empathy I’ve come to expect. I intend posting these recommendations two or … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day – 03/21/18
My youngest son, Thmellyarthe, was a very precocious reader. He was able to read first reading books at the age of three. I used to play with him as we’d be walking around the supermarket asking him to tell me when we were in aisle three,count tins of beans, find me the orange packet of … Continue reading The Coffee Table, The Ex and The Voice of Doom
I’ve had a nomination from the two lovely bloggers below which I’m chuffed to bits with! It’s a real thrill when someone has a chance to nominate a blog as worth reading - and they pick you! I also love having the opportunity to introduce you to other blogs you may not have found yet … Continue reading A Versatile Blogger Award!
I thought since it was St Patricks Day I'd share some photos of Ireland and my Grandma's recipe for Soda Bread. One of my favorite things in the world! Grandma didn’t actually use scales. She used an old tea cup to measure but I wanted to do it properly so I did as she did … Continue reading St Patrick’s Day – and how we can all have a little Irish in us!
So..... I'd gone on a day trip to France to shop when my kids were really little, Fartichoke was only about six weeks old so Brid was just over a year old. Yes, there isn't a year between them. It explains a lot about my sanity doesn't it?! Anyway it was the end of the … Continue reading Entente UN Cordiale…
I saw an ex coworker yesterday who I haven't seen since before Christmas. He was a little upset with me. Before Christmas he was complaining about his wife. He was saying she was always bitching at him and she seemed to have PMS 24/7. (Married to him, I’m not surprised..) Naturally my sympathies were with … Continue reading You Just Can’t Help Some People!!
I've been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by the ever lovely Jo at Working Mom's Hustle and also by Kai at Kailah's Site The Versatile Blogger Award was the first type of award I received so I have a special affection for it. I love these things. They aren't a speedy post to write … Continue reading The Versatile Blogger Award
Tonight I asked ‘im indoors what he wanted to take to work for his lunch tomorrow. “Oh ....anything” he said offhandedly. I was quite peeved by this but - I had a golden moment. One of those moments where instead of going ballistic faster than the speed of light I actually stopped myself - and … Continue reading Sandwiches, Shoe Polish and Schaden Freude
When I was still married to Farquhar Bastardcelot we lived in a house by the sea. It had three bedrooms. Princess PITA had one, Fartichoke had another and FB had the biggest. Our marriage was a war zone and I used to sleep on the couch. Princess PITA would never go into FB's room, I … Continue reading The Red Eyed Man
I feel very privileged every time I get an award. Someone has had the opportunity to acknowledge other blogs they enjoy and want to share - and they picked me! MEEE!! It’s humbling and I do like to reciprocate. These posts take me AGES to consider so please don’t underestimate the regard I hold for … Continue reading The Sunshine Blogger Award
I would like to announce I have been good all day and haven't done or thought any bad things. I would like to announce I didn’t put a sticker on the back of ‘im indoors car saying “Passion Wagon. Don’t laugh, your daughter might be in the back” I would like to announce I haven't … Continue reading On behaving beautifully
Ive been asked a few times why I chose my blog name “Bitchin’ in the Kitchen” People seem to think I should perceive it as derogatory to use the word “bitch”. Here’s my reply. The expression “to bitch” is used in England to describe moaning, grumbling, whining etc. You can have a good old bitch … Continue reading Why I’m Bitchin’ in the Kitchen
I’m thrilled to have been nominated for this by Kei at Suave Trans. This is a really great blog to follow and I love his style of writing. Kei is transitioning into who he is. I’m enjoying sharing his journey very much. So what is it? The Liebster Award is a recognition that is given … Continue reading A Liebster Award!
The recipe says these are "to die for”… Or possibly “of” - the writing's a little unclear….” Death by Fudge1 1/2 cups sugar 5 fl oz evaporated milk 2 tablespoons butter 1/4 teaspoon salt 2 cups miniature marshmallows 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips 1/2 cup chopped almonds 2 teaspoons amaretto or almond extract Cyanide to … Continue reading For that UN-Special Someone
Do you ever have one of those "you couldn't make this shit up" days? I'd parked in a multi-storey car park to “just go to Sprint” and actually managed to leave the mall a mere four hours later after a run on the stock exchange. You know? Where I trade my cash for valuable stock.. … Continue reading On Condoms, Car Parks and Paint Cans..
I’ve seen so many posts lately from people wanting to change their place in society. Whilst I don’t think that bad at all, I absolutely do think people need to be very honest with themselves about their motivation. Is it a desire to be a better version of you? A more rounded human being? Or … Continue reading Contentment, Happiness and why I don’t want to be the Boss of You!
BLOODY DECORATING! Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram - you all have a lot to answer for! Oh and you all SUCK!! I'm not one of Mother Nature's natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap … Continue reading A Remorseful Tale of Repurpose, Repaint, Regret.. and Replace!!
Here’s a little fun game, just for the hell of it!! You don’t have to play along, but I tagged you because I’d like to see your answers! I was tagged by Floating Gold - enjoy, your Royal shiny-ness!! RULES: • Acknowledge the person who nominated you. • Answer the questions. • Nominate other bloggers … Continue reading Let’s play TMI Tag!!
Yes you read that right. You know how sometimes things seem like a good idea but then they’re not? Yeah. Me too! Before we moved to this house, we had a tiny utility room. Because of the stupid way the fuse boards and venting were put in, it was big enough for the washer and … Continue reading Sitting in the Tumble Drier..
Sometimes people can’t grasp the concept of why we stayed with toxic people. I say “WE” because I was a battered spouse. I had so many bones broken that I stopped counting - yet I didn’t leave.. When you’re in the middle of a war zone all you can think about is a safe place … Continue reading Domestic Abuse
I’m absolutely thrilled to have been nominated for the LIEBSTER award! Why??? You ask Because I get to share some of my ever growing lists of blogs that inspire, educate and entertain me. I was thrilled to be nominated by Becca at From My Lofty Hill. She has a fascinating blog about homesteading in Belize. … Continue reading The LIEBSTER Award
By now you’ve probably realised, Names Are Being Changed. I’m not really Britchy - wait, yes I am - but it’s not my actual NAME!! I thought I’d better start a post where the cast was explained so here it is! I’ll add to it as more reprobates appear.. Family ’im indoors - hubby Fartichoke … Continue reading The Cast of Characters
You can always tell a Donegal chap by his parsimonious use of words. No, “you’ve got nice eyes”, “can I buy you a drink” or even that toe-curling old chestnut “do you come here often?”. Oh nooooo. The mating seasons too short for that Miss Manners how’s-yer-father in Donegal. Those young feller-me-lads are straight to … Continue reading In Which The Girls Ventured Forth…
My dad sent me an email a couple of days ago - one of those touchy feeling “forwarded” doo-dad’s that I detest. It was very out of character for him, he normally just forwards jokes!! I actually wondered if someone else was using his computer so I added to it and sent it back. He … Continue reading Advice – Britchy Style!!
Titselina Bumsqueak and I have a long history of laughter - way back to the last century in fact! That’s something I love saying, “last century”! It’s kind of scary when you realize this years HS graduating classes weren’t even born then - but I digress! Last time I visited TB she was still living … Continue reading Dave Douchenugget and the PG Tips.
Although I was born and raised in England, I spent large portions of my life in Ireland. My parents moved there and built a house when they retired so that’s where I go to visit my Dad these days. My Dad has always been somewhat deaf but it’s worsened with age to the point where … Continue reading The Ho-Er at Moher..
Many years ago, when I was still living in England, I worked for Her Majesty’s Prison Service. I was a clerical officer and dealt with a wide range of services from Throughcare, Prisoners wages and Education to my main role which was Discipline. Yes I was a Discipline Administrative Officer in an all male prison! … Continue reading The Lunatics are Taking Over The Asylum..
I got another fun nomination! The Sunshine Blogger Award. Apparently this is given to blogs who are “creative, optimistic and inspiring, while spreading sunshine to the blogging community”. And me. The aspect of these awards I’m most thrilled about is that it gives me the chance to share blogs I’ve grown attached to and even … Continue reading The Sunshine Blogger Award
You’d think I’d be banned from buying pop rocks after the Beirut Buns Incident but no.. So, as you’d expect, I bought more! I couldn’t think what to do with them. It was a little upsetting. No kids at home at the moment, it’s just me and ‘im indoors. And the animals. The two cats. … Continue reading Pop Rocks Part.. Number Two..
After reading this, I challenge you to think of a list of books that have made a difference to you. It’s up to you if you explain why or not but it’s a very pleasurable exercise reminding yourself of all your book loves! The hardship for me wasn’t in starting but in stopping. This doesn’t … Continue reading A Book Challenge
You know how it is with serendipity don't you?! Once I filed for divorce, my ex, Farquhar Barstardcelot, morphed into an even more complete bastard. He has this marvelous idea that I should stay home and look after the kids while he did his studly thing fornicating around the web and then we should get … Continue reading The Many Uses of Lipstick – Or The Price of Revenge…
Lookee what I got!! What a lovely surprise, I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest but I do truly appreciate it. I was nominated by two awesome bloggers, both of whom I would have chose to nominate so that’s a happy coincidence! Thank you both so much for nominating me. I’ve included links to your … Continue reading My First Award!
Some of you may have read the Ladeez night story and wondered what happened to Titselina Bumsqueak's ex. We fixed Fat Sharon but what about TB’s ex? Percy Pickle? They say confession is good for the soul - well... I guess it’s time for a spot of spiritual harmony! So where did we leave off? … Continue reading The Pint and The Pickle
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement... not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes. I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again … Continue reading Things I want my kids to know..
As with so many other women in this great world of ours, I'm afflicted with sharing a bathroom with people who have reached end of life "cantputthefuckingseatbackdownitis" This isn't a laughing matter. This condition is seemingly incurable and often results in death. Theirs. Usually caused by a broken neck from being hit repeatedly with aforementioned … Continue reading Nocturnal Swimming Lessons..
I don't know why I keep telling you lot all this stuff. I really don't NEED to make myself look more of an idiot now do I?! Oh well - As mentioned in other posts, the ever delightful Titselina Bumsqueak and I have been friends for over thirty years. All through the ghastly school years, … Continue reading Holy Crepe..
I've just seen a status update from a friend that reminded me of some of the shit Titselina Bumsqueak and I got up to in our younger days.. umm that would be "Clarissa Pumpernickel" and "Penelope Farquar" ACTUALLY because TB and I were little angels of course *dodges thunderbolt* (and yes - we really DID give those … Continue reading Oh Yes, it’s LADEEEZ Night..
I had to run to Walmart for a couple of bits and bobs this afternoon. I hate the place. I’ve avoided it for ages after being ripped off by a thievin’ scumbag cashier who added cash back to my receipt. I didn’t check - shame on me. The manager wouldn’t do anything about it so … Continue reading Willy and the Hand Jive
No not me... Pfft! Don't you know yet what a evil, wicked mean and nasty person I am?! My best friend and her boyfriend both work in a casino and as such, work a lot of nights. Her boyfriend was working last night but she wasn't so they were texting each other with saucy messages. … Continue reading The Joy of Sexting
I was sitting reading a memorial page for a brave man last night. A cop, killed in the line of duty. I didn't know him. I don't know anyone who did know him but I sat here, tears running down my face reading peoples memories of this man who gave his life for our freedom. … Continue reading I won’t forget.
Kids say the damndest things don't they?! I just found an email I sent to ‘im indoors in 2007. It was a transcript of a conversation my kids had just had. At the time they would have been 12, 11 and 6. So my second child, Fartichoke is watching the Simpsons (grrrr...) My youngest, Thmellyarthe, … Continue reading ‘E gets it frum ‘is muvver…
You can always make a difference to someone. You can always brighten someone’s day. You can always make someone feel worthwhile. You can always make someone feel cherished ...You just can’t always remember that if you have Alzheimer’s.. I truly didn’t know just how awful Alzheimer’s/Dementia is until my mum had it. I didn’t understand … Continue reading The Horror of Alzheimer’s
I can't count how many times that's been yelled at me. I am a teeny tiny bit of a practical joker. Hard to believe I know but there it is. I think the first time I remember pranking someone was when I was 14 and it was my mum. We had a townhouse in London, … Continue reading “You’re not funny!!!!”
I’m going to share an incident that happened when I drove my son back down to North Carolina last month. It’s kind of funny re-imagining it now but the underlying story is anything but. As I was driving down to NC I was getting sicker and sicker. I was developing a migraine so we stopped … Continue reading Let’s be careful out there
I’ve come to the conclusion that the worst bit about getting older isn’t wrinkles or grey hair. It isn’t aches and pains and taking longer to do the things we used to do so fast. The worst bit is losing our families, losing our friends. Even if you don’t see them every day, you know they’re THERE. … Continue reading One from the heart..
Agatha Christie had all the best titles, I really was addicted to them growing up (explains a lot...) I still am to be honest! For various reasons I've spent today mentally planning my ex's funeral. He's not dead and to the best of my knowledge (sadly) he's not going to shuffle off this mortal coil … Continue reading A Murder is Announced
Lil was my best friends mum and today would have been Lil's 96th birthday. She might have been Titselina Bumsqueaks mum but she was as good as mine too. As far as she was concerned I was one of hers. Oh how I loved her and miss her. She had a bloody hard life. She … Continue reading The Ever Wonderful Lil
Growing up under the NHS in London was great. Until it wasn’t. Raging Despots of Doctors receptionists. Doctors with God complex’s. Nurses who idolised the piggin’ idiots and made them even more delusional if possible! Oh and let’s not forget the ever present cup of tea. I’m quite sure they even stopped operations for surgeons … Continue reading The Out Patient Appointment..
*Sigh* Welcome to the latest round of The Bitchy One's "You-Couldn't-Make-This-Shit-Up.." I was back in England visiting my best friend and I’d gone shopping. While I was walking around in town I went into a sweet shop (candy store) to buy a curly wurly. I decided I could indulge myself! They had all kinds of … Continue reading Axis of Evil Cupcakes.
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player! My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out. By that I mean it was a weeknight because we … Continue reading If Music be the Food of Love?
I was in Wegmans today (not the one in Canandaigua, I’m being “discreet”) to get a few things and I wandered past the cooking oils. I’d been having a little chat with my best fiend, The Man In Black a couple of weeks back about the price of Duck Fat (no do NOT reverse the … Continue reading Further Adventures in Wegmans.. was
Today Karma was my bestie. Nothing beats being a messenger of vengeance. I don’t even think I could have had as much fun with my holy rolling pin of retribution - although maybe I should just see... hmmm... My daughters ex beat her up badly, he broke her knee and fractured her neck and left … Continue reading Wanker nil – Karma 8 million
I read today that people are unfollowing celebrities in their millions.... GOOD!!! I’m so sick of “celebrities”. They’re absolute parasites. Who the tell do they think they are to preach? All this recent stuff with black hoochie mama dresses and white roses... hypocrites. All this hype about the shit they have had to do to … Continue reading Eff You “Me too”
Well this is a bit strange..