..because the thoughts that fall, kicking and screaming from my head need a safe place to land..
I'm only going to make one post election comment. On Tuesday I sat at the polls all day as an election inspector. At about 9am the local Democrat and Republican parties collaborated and brought coffee and donuts to all the polling stations in our town. They worked together and did something good. It was a … Continue reading Moving Forward… Together?
If I could build a time machine And journey back to age fifteen What could I change, who would I be? If life had turned out differently.. Well for one, I wouldn’t have bunked off school Being a dumbass isn’t cool It’s fun at sixteen to be naughty Who am I kidding? It’s still fun … Continue reading A Trip In The Waaay Back Machine? No Thanks!
Halloween is over for another year. You can always tell because BOOM! Christmas shit is everywhere. I’m already sick to the eyeballs of ‘snowy white snow and jingle bells’ Seriously, who writes this crap? That’s a whole ‘nuther post. This may go on record as my most boring well behaved Halloween ever. It was just … Continue reading Trick or… Bitch?
... but falling apart is dead easy!! It's been a funny couple of weeks. I had a headache the day after I flew home from Ireland which I put down to jet lag after a long flight and then an equally long drive home. Literally!! Six and a half hours on the plane, seven hours … Continue reading Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…
Something to think about - make today YOURS!! Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Statistic of the day: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died of Ebola. The statistic does not state which is considered a worse fate. If you came with Instructions, what would they … Continue reading A Little Something For The Weekend?
You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.. That Kenny Rogers song is rattling around in my noggin and won’t go away. Sometimes you can’t help people no matter how hard you try. Knowing when to step back... and doing it - well they’re two of the hardest things ever to … Continue reading Every Hands A Winner And Every Hands A Loser
Gordon Ramsey. I'm not sure whether he's more famous for his cooking or his swearing. A little of both the guess! It's worked very well for him, Roast 'taters and The Eff Word.. so I thought I'd cash in. I'm more heifer than 'effer' so I decided I'd better bloody well think of something else. … Continue reading Chicken Bloody Pot Pie
I might have been a little bit naughty. Or Educational, take your pick. One of my friends who shall remain nameless (male and thicker than poo!!) was posting that his internet was really slow. Being "helpful" I told him his posts weren't showing up and that he must be was having connectivity issues and to … Continue reading Earth Men Are Easy
It’s 40F this morning. I think I have hypothermia, or hypochondria.. hypo-IHateWinter anyhow. We went out for a drive yesterday to see the fall colour - FAIL! What’s happened this year?! It’s seriously the worst fall I’ve ever seen! We stopped at an apple and pumpkin stand and bought some apples. Crispin’s as big as … Continue reading A Roundabout Route to Apple Pie
It sFnowed and turned to ice this morning and yesterday morning. It was below freezing both mornings too. I’m not a happy Britchy! Winter is upon us and it’s time to start planning my hibernation. I do not willingly leave warmth and anyone talking about the traumatic horrors of snow and ice can Get Stuffed! … Continue reading The ‘S’ Word And The Telly
I was re-reading Anne of Green Gables earlier and had to smile at her "White Way Of Delight" description of blossom trees lining a road as they drove along in a pony and trap. I spent a few happy minutes thinking how nice to describe places like that. Then I went out to the kitchen … Continue reading Thinkery I have Thunkeried
Monday was spent in the ER. A bit of a saga but I came home with a headache after the flight from Ireland on Tuesday last week. The first couple of days I was calling it Over Tiredness and Jet Lag. There’s no one who can make an excuse not to see a doctor better … Continue reading My Week So Far..
Have you ever noticed how news sites and other media malarkey is full of *big* people? People the world considers "important"? Have you ever met anyone famous? Were you in awe? Why? What have they done for you? I'm grateful everyday for the "little" people in my life. People who aren't rich. Aren't famous. Aren't … Continue reading The Most Important People In The World.
Sometimes I amaze even myself. Jobs I thought were commonplace are obviously rocket science and I never knew.. For example. The toilet roll needed changing. Someone got a new roll out of the cupboard and left it on the windowsill beside the toilet roll holder but didn't take the old empty roll off the spindle. … Continue reading My Super Hero Resume
So the day has come already. I’ll be leaving Ireland to fly home to NY. I’ve missed home all the time I’ve been here and I’ll miss here the minute I go. It’s always a worry leaving an older parent because.. you know. It's been a lovely two weeks, both here and in Tenerife and … Continue reading Headin’ home..
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." Happy Very Special Birthday to me! Three years ago today I recited the pledge and became a US Citizen. Something I have been amazed … Continue reading Becoming A US Citizen
I’ve realized a lot of things on this trip to see my Dad, not all of them great! He’s turned into a Mister Magoo with Tourette’s while driving for instance. How I’m still alive, well - I just don’t know! I now know this: I remember more prayers than I ever thought I knew They … Continue reading Driving With My Dad
I know I once said that I’m yours... and I was - for the longest time but guess what Mr. Know-It-All? SO WHAT?! You’ve been talking in your sleep about your new Dark Lady and now well, you don’t get to make my brown eyes blue anymore. You don’t own me and like my friends … Continue reading Dear Ex…
Sadly we'll be heading back to Dublin and then Galway tomorrow. I've had a fabulous time and will be sad to leave. I'll definitely be back. I think I've consumed my own weight twice over this week! I'm looking forward to getting home to NY and telling you all about it.
Here we are in Tenerife and as I write this, it's hot and sunny with nary a cloud in the sky... HOWEVER, considering that I've left hurricanes and Tornados in my wake you can expect change at any time! I shall write a lot more from both Ireland and NY when I get home but … Continue reading Just a quickie!
I'm here safe and sound in Galway having just shovelled as much tea and soda bread down my neck as humanly possible! We're heading across country to Dublin shortly and then flying to Tenerife tomorrow. So far it's been Saturday in New York, Sunday in Galway, Monday in Dublin and Tuesday in Tenerife. I don't … Continue reading If it’s Monday it must be Dublin..
First leg of my journey starts when I finish my Coke Zero! I'm driving about 5ish hours to Poughkeepsie ready for my flight to Ireland tomorrow night! 'im indoors wanted me to rest before the flight because he says I'm doing too much with my knackered shoulder and everything else. I Wear the poxy sling … Continue reading ..And she’s off!!
This poetry malarkey is too much! Jeez. My brain hurts! I blame cake because I made a couple of dozen cupcakes today. I’m feeling a bit sick now because I’ve eaten four. My son Fartichoke exclaimed ‘Mum that’s your THIRD!’ I was very indignant I can tell you and righteously corrected him ‘It’s my second. … Continue reading A Pirate Life For Me..
So poems. Poems and me. I went there. Apologies in advance but the devil made me do it! I never thought that I should see A food that couldn’t quite please me A filthy psycho chose to tease And thus invented cottage cheese It makes me hurl and swear words utter The blinkin’ stuff belongs … Continue reading A Poem By The Stroppy Git Who Hates Poetry
It’s Thursday and I’m busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. Rebloggng this and crossing fingers I have more time later!!
BLOODY DECORATING!
Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram – you all have a lot to answer for!
Oh and you all SUCK!!
I’m not one of Mother Nature’s natural decorators really. My idea of painting would appear to be to get as much on me and my clothes as possible and if there is any left over slap it on the walls for good measure. I enjoy it though – so what the hell if I use three cans where one would do?! The REAL expense involved in decorating for me is all the bloody bubble bath and hot water I get through!
I bought a mahoghany color (pretty damn sure it wasn’t real mahogany for $20) china cabinet on Ebay. I believed all the hype that any dummy could upcycle and planned on titivating the flipping thing “a la Pinterest etc” The project was painting it with an off white semi gloss…
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I’m not much of a sports person. Not unless you count competitive pranking anyway. There is a plethora of good reasons for this. Darts got me in vehicular hot water. Tennis caused an Omen like effect on a greenhouse and even the genteel art of Bowls was dealt a death knell when it crossed paths … Continue reading Pot The Red And Screw Back…
I was thinking about hurricane advice and I realised, obviously it's all subjective. Stocking up on Bread and milk is NOT a good idea if you're gluten or lactose intolerant for instance.. so from there it was an easy stretch for me into how I'd 'survive' a hurricane!! Stores running out of gas,water and canned … Continue reading How I Would Get Through Hurricanes…
This is a picture from a weather report. Watch the theatrics and then watch the two guys stroll behind him. You can watch by clicking the link below. Weather Channel Fake Video Do you still believe the lies and distortion from the main stream media? If so I have a bridge for sale! Accept nothing … Continue reading Fake News!! Still believe what you see?!
So. I’ve noticed when I start a sentence with “so” it’s a delaying tactic. It’s because whatever follows isn’t really something I want to talk about or face. I’ve learned the hard way that bottling stuff up just gives it power over you and I try very hard not to do that but it’s not … Continue reading How NOT To Have An MRI
Well this has been a hell of a week! I decided to call my son on Monday night and suggest I came to pick him up. He lives in Jacksonville NC and Florence was making a bee line for him. Surprisingly he agreed without a fight so I left at 6am Tuesday morning to drive … Continue reading The Week That Was!
I was sat in my sun room in England. It was a lovely sunny afternoon. The big two kids were at school and I had a three week old baby in my arms. I'd just sat to watch the news when I fed him when up popped reports of a plane hitting one of the … Continue reading Where were you on 9/11/01?
My son lives in Jacksonville, North Carolina which is directly bang smack in the middle of Florence's path... so I'm heading down to pick him up and bring him back here to NY first thing. I will check in with bulletins as opposed to proper posts but it's going to be as immediate a turn … Continue reading Going Head To Head With Florence
Of all the life advice I can give - don’t wear shoes in the fridge probably isn’t necessary for anyone but me... Welcome to the daily insanity brought to you today by ...well who else do you think of when the sentence has ‘insanity’ in it?! This incident occurred before the washing machine incident. You’d … Continue reading Hanging Out In The.. Fridge??
Make no mistake, these are NOT a few of my favorite things. This is that time of year when I just cannot overestimate the gullibility of people. Seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I love pumpkin spice - as in a mix of ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon (i leave out allspice and cloves because my pie, … Continue reading Autumn, Dark Nights and Pumpkin Spice..
I think I’d be good at Advertising, I really do. For instance: Pizza is not a health food. It’s a heart attack on a plate really with carbs and cholesterol etc. However if I describe it as a rustic base of ancient grains, enrobed with a blend of sun ripened tomatoes and artisanal cheese it … Continue reading Thunk Thoughts And Things I’ve Learned This Week
I saw a tweet today that proved libraries are cool! It was too good not to share so enjoy! Go visit your local library today! #notjustfornerds
Yup I’m gearing up to go a wandering again! Septembers jaunting takes me 300 miles or so across state to Poughkeepsie on the 21st of September in order to fly to Ireland on the 22nd to see my dad. I actually don’t arrive until the morning of the 23rd. On the 24th we’re travelling across … Continue reading Hi, Good Morning …and Póg Ma Thóin. No Hay Papel Higiénico Y Donde Esta La Luz?
I want to start with saying this post isn’t about politics!! Yesterday in 2015 was when I took my Citizenship test. I passed and was given a date for my Citizenship Ceremony. October 8th was when I took the Oath of Allegiance and became a Citizen. I also registered to vote. A large part of … Continue reading What Do YOU Do For Your Country??
I left North Carolina sadly yesterday morning to begin the drive home. I've decided North is NOT my favorite direction and it probably never will be! I'm amazed and horrified at the difference in gas prices. From over $3 a gallon where I live in NY to $2.45 in North Carolina and $2.40 in Georgia/South … Continue reading Bitchin’ Thoughts On Loves, Gas And The Unreliability Of Sheetz..
I am loving being in Georgia!!* Some of the stuff people say is downright hilarious. Princess PITA and I were just in Target and there were two women in there. I was listening them seriously bitching out another woman and saying ‘Bless her heart’ as if to negate the shade throwing that followed. Apparently she … Continue reading Eavesdropping in Georgia..
I have a question. Counselling. It's always struck me as the biggest ripoff going. You sit and blather on to someone while looking for answers yourself and you pay them for doing absolutely nothing constructive! I think newspaper agony aunts have more value. I truly see this as a farce but I know others have … Continue reading Counselling – Salvation or Scam?
I’ve woken up exhausted already today. I think it’s the driving over the last two days. Thankfully today I won’t be driving AT ALL!! I have no idea what we’re doing yet but I’ll take pics! I wish I could have taken some in the drive down because it was beautiful especially with the Shenandoah … Continue reading One Tired Britch On The Loose!!
So here I go! I'm off for a week or so to Georgia and North Carolina. I'll be travelling through New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina and South Carolina to Georgia then back through Georgia, South Carolina, stopping in North Carolina to see Fartichoke then Virginia and either WV or DC to … Continue reading Vroom, Vroom!!
Two years ago I was going to visit my son in North Carolina and he asked me to get him a jar of pickled sausages. Yes you read that right - PICKLED SAUSAGES. Have you ever heard anything so disgusting? Apart from my nemesis, Cottage Cheese of course!! So I went along to Byrne Dairy … Continue reading Malodorous Mishaps!
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin! August 13 2018 August 13 is the 225th day of the year (226th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 140 days remaining until the end of the year. The zodiac sign for August 13 is Leo. Astrological symbol: Lion. This zodiac symbol is considered to … Continue reading August 13, 2018
I saw this as I was scrolling through FB and I know many of you are in situations that are beyond your immediate control. I thought this might help - have a wonderful day!! "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn't … Continue reading A Thought To Free You..
I was watching TV last night and got bored so I was flicking through for something to watch. I’ve FINALLY watched every episode of NCIS and Criminal Minds so I was at a bit of a loss. I came across a movie, The Spiderwick Chronicles. I’d taken the kids to see this at the Cinema … Continue reading How To Kill A Goblin Or Piss Off Your Ex
This week has had a couple of shopping expeditions for me and some very interesting encounters with outright repulsive people and people I’ll never forget. We’re a funny old species aren’t we?! I took myself off to HomeGoods to get some sugar free flavoured coffee syrups. I wanted raspberry and vanilla and before you can … Continue reading How To Change The World In The Time It Takes To Read This.
A good Christian would forgive you - A good Texan would just shoot you but me, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born Going to the loo is euphemistically called ‘spending a penny’ Spend a penny my arse!! It was 20 cents the last time I was in Galway! - The inflation … Continue reading Tuesday Thoughts
I thought of this crap while lurking in the fridge deciding what not to cook for dinner! With apologies to my friends the mushrooms for comparing them to Brad Pitt - I present to you, a story in three courses in which our murderer gets his just desserts. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Mushroom … Continue reading The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button Mushroom.
I may need an alibi. Fartichoke texted me and told me he saw a trailer for a film with me in it. I was thinking "The Devils Double" He was thinking "The Smurfs" Guess which one of us is going blue??? I haven’t been to the cinema in AGES. I really want to go and … Continue reading When The Scariest Part Of A Movie Is The Audience..
Me: "You spell light, ‘L-I-G-F-T’ don't you?" ‘im indoors: You idiot, there's no f in light!!! Me: I know, I've just had to wee in the dark. I am not appreciated *sigh* It seems my methods of car theft prevention are under appreciated around these parts too. I’m not exactly an Amazon. I’m 5’1” without … Continue reading Anti Theft Shenanigans And Weeing In The Dark..
We took our happy asses to Seneca Falls in upstate NY this weekend to see a whole pile of classic cars. Seneca Falls is a historic little town in the heart of the Finger Lakes aka WINE country!! There are literally hundreds of wineries around about. Wines are predominantly Germanic, at least the better ones … Continue reading Cruisin’ Through An Upstate Summer!
Many years ago my parents had a country hotel. We had several animals ranging from miniature Shetland’s and Falabella’s through to a retired cart horse. We had two dogs, a three legged cat, peacocks, rare breed ducks, geese, chickens - I called them Mexican racing chickens because those little buggers never laid a single egg! … Continue reading The Emu and The MOAB (Mother Of All Britchy’s!)
Quelle surprise!! Il pleut 💦💧⛈💧💦 Le foook. ..It’s probably a judgment on me so anyone in upstate NY getting saturated today - mea culpa. Yes I’ve been a bad Britchy. After my latest prank I’m also an itchy Britchy and I feel very crawly with good reason! Read on.. Firstly I’m going to pretend I … Continue reading The Bathroom Bandit Strikes Again – ‘im Indoors Has Nothing To Go On.
After Ratface Wrinkle- Winkle and I separated I quite enjoyed having a free babysitter! It was nice to get the occasional night off! He wasn’t very good about having them so I made the most of when he did. On this one particular occasion I was looking forward to a nice long bath without interruptions. … Continue reading Ratface, Ozzy And The TomTom – Or Where To Go And How To Get There.
Who remembers way back in the olden days - those prehistoric times when we had dial up modems - 28.8 was scorchingly fast. Windows 95 was the hot ticket, Netscape and ICQ - It was the Bronze Age Of Internet-ery and no one wanted to admit to being online as the internet was only for … Continue reading Fisher Price and Mattel – or How I Learned The Importance Of Phrasing In Google Searches..
Have you ever read a book that just takes you on a roller coaster of emotions that leave you not knowing which way is up? This is one of those kinds of books. It gets you by the throat and pulls you close, hypnotising you so you can't put it down. Nothing else matters, this … Continue reading Book Recommendation – Mr God, This Is Anna
Was inglourious basterds meant to be spelled so badly or did they just do it because they knew it would piss me off? I’ve never watched it because the bloody spelling annoys me so much! If God didn't think humility was important, SHE would have put the prostate somewhere else. If ever I wanted a … Continue reading Things I Think Of Instead Of Doing Something More Productive
I was watching MIB - mostly because it was in and I couldn’t be stars to channel surf and it got to that line about ‘The best of the best of the best SIR!’ I have to admit, I had a little smirk because I do actually know an anal retentive hun just like that … Continue reading The Worst Of The Worst Of The Worst… SIR!!
Inspiration can strike at the strangest times really. Great Ideas can come to you when you least expect it and I’ve learned opportunity seldom knocks twice. Let no shenanigans go to waste are words to live by. Ratface Wrinkle-Winkle was a man of few talents but prodigious regularity. Rainman was an amateur compared to old … Continue reading In The Still Of The Night… The Coincidence Of Night, Fright and Shite Rhyming!
We’re going on a trip in the way back machine today! Fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking whilst we prepare for Blast Off.. Sit back comfortably but don’t go to sleep because, well, things can happen in dreams and real life simultaneously. You didn’t know that? Get yourself some caffeine and I’ll explain. Farquhar … Continue reading The Ex Files Or How To REALLY Live Your Dreams..
Titselina Bumsqueak and I were chatting about ex's and how we both have ex’s called Dave. At some point in life, every single one of us knows a Dave who is a complete knobsock. We dated them, we worked with them - our lives have been blighted by a plague of Dave’s, in fact it’s … Continue reading The Theory of Men or Don’t go there!
Are you having a seizure of some sort? I'm writing this post on my phone. I have the WordPress app on my phone so I have always got something interesting to read. That's useful but what you may not realise is it also shows just how fast notifications come in. I was just texting with … Continue reading Dear Serial “liker”..
You know the saying ‘The Devil makes work for idle hands’? Hold that thought. It’s the best alibi I’ve got. Weekday mornings when my kids were little were chaotic. I was still in England with my ex so I had two school kids, a baby, me, two kittens trying to climb up my legs and … Continue reading The Pros And Cons Of Laser Hair Removal – Or Feline Groovy..
‘im indoors had been having a bit of a grumble lately because of the heat. He doesn’t mind the heat so much as the humidity. We had a whacking great downpour this afternoon. I’d gone to Wegmans to buy stuff to make a baked cheesecake and as I was leaving it was absolutely leathering it … Continue reading Mad Dogs And (Formerly) English Women Go Out In The Midday Sun..
Have you ever had someone say something that you want to burst out laughing at - but you don't want to hurt their feelings? I was at the doctors and the little nurse practitioner came in to check my BP etc and she asked where I was from... The conversation went like this: Me: I'm … Continue reading What Language Do You Speak?
Yesterday while I was driving home after shopping, I was sat in traffic at a four way intersection. A big Suburban came hurtling around from the right with lights and sirens and a local fire department logo on its side. Next a white pick up came through the red light with lights and sirens. Both … Continue reading On Burning the Flag.
I took one of my Amish friends shopping on Friday.. her and her five kids under the age of seven - to Walmart and Aldi.. Yes I need my head tested Yes I deserve a medal!! That's not what this saga is about though, the subject of The Amish is a whole 'nuvver post! When … Continue reading Pie In The Sky… Or The Mysterious Case Of The Hissing Strawberries.
At some point in our lives we’re all going to have one of ‘those’ friends. The ‘keeping up appearances’ type. Shallow as a puddle in the Sahara. The sort for whom image is everything. I don’t know if they are really insecure or totally oblivious but the fact remains, which ever it is they’re BLOODY … Continue reading Her? Oh She’s All Fur Hat and No Knickers… And Marmite.
And here we are again. Throw Back Thursday.. Where has this week GONE?! We’re rapidly sliding into July and all the fun that goes with the 4th – I can’t wait! While we’re waiting, I hope you enjoy this tale of mayhem at Casa Del Britchy!!
You’d think I’d be banned from buying pop rocks after the Beirut Buns Incident but no.. So, as you’d expect, I bought more!
I couldn’t think what to do with them. It was a little upsetting. No kids at home at the moment, it’s just me and ‘im indoors. And the animals. The two cats. Specifically Prader Willi and HellBoy.
Both cats are indoors only. Both were from feral mothers and both have FIV. They have a very pampered life and frankly, the fat little porkers are severely obese (but we don’t say that out loud as it hurts ‘im indoors feelings)
Pop Rocks.
It’s a challenge at times to get these two sedentary shit machines to exercise. The laser pen, bits of string, wind up mice… even my blood curdling screams barely get them to raise an eye lid. This is particularly upsetting as I’m very proud of my…
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I’ve spent this morning making jam from the strawberries I got from the Amish on Friday. I had a total of 6 lbs strawberries (okay it was 7lbs but I’m very rigid about quality control donchaknow?!) I decided to make strawberry and apple jam as I used to love that - ‘im indoors had never … Continue reading Strawberry and Apple Jam
It’s Thursday so time for a throwback to a time when, well, I may NOT have been the perfect little angel I am now…
You know how it is with serendipity don’t you?!
Once I filed for divorce, my ex, Farquhar Barstardcelot, morphed into an even more complete bastard. He has this marvelous idea that I should stay home and look after the kids while he did his studly thing fornicating around the web and then we should get back together in 10-15 years – once the kids have left home.
Can anyone say go forth and multiply?!
Honestly, if I’d known he could be that funny before I filed.. yeah NO!
Farquhar had pulled stunts that are beyond audacious but – every dog has it’s day and it was mine.
The kids had a play date AT SOMEONE ELSES HOUSE! Not mine for once and holy debit cards – I could go shopping! On my own!! No flippin’ ankle-snappers!
I had a lovely time, no whining, no tale-telling.. no losing kids and for…
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I was nominated by the truly delightful Jo at The Creative PTSD Gal. to take part in 3,2,1 - Quote Me! again! I love her blog and her doodles, it's a great read and some fabulous art I'd love on my walls. The rules of this challenge are simple. • Thank the Selector • Post … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me! “The Power Of One”
I was talking to a friend today and said I’d been up and down for a few weeks. I’ve had a few bad events, sad reminders, losses and life is unsettled and it’s taken a toll. I’m not exactly a puddle of tears, snot and used Kleenex and I have had a lot of fun … Continue reading Moody, Miserable, Bitchy – And Why I Hate The Word ‘Depression’
I'm quite thrilled to have been tagged again by A Guy Called Bloke for his own invention of a quote tag. Of all the things that do the rounds, this is probably one of my favourites. I do truly love the questions he asks on awards posts too.. they are NEVER boring! The rules of … Continue reading 3,2,1 -Quote Me!! “Success”
That loveable rogue, A Guy Called Bloke asked a question that I just had to answer. What’s something that your brain tries to make you do, say or think and you have to exercise all your strength to NOT do it? Well I think we all know I have zero impulse control when it comes … Continue reading Wait!!! …you said WHAT?!
Kristian at Tales From The Mind Of Kristian nominated me for a Liebster! Whilst I was thrilled, I've chosen to just answer the questions because I know so many of you are about to head off on summer vacations. I don't want to add the stress of tags to your fun! I love them but … Continue reading Liebster Questions!
A Guy Called Bloke started a truly fun little tag whereby he gives a theme to quote on and tags three people and we see how far we can take it! It’s great fun and the rules are easy: • Thank the Selector • Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day. • … Continue reading 3,2,1 – Quote Me!!
Our much loved muse, The Okie Dokie Blokie asked a question.. “What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?” Poor sod has no idea what he’s let himself in for! I have a plethora of ridiculous pickles to choose from so you decide! You lot get to choose which was my most ridiculous injury (to date!) … Continue reading Your Arm You Broke? A Twat You Are!!
Here we are on Throw Back Thursday with a Public Service Announcement – if you ever meet a man with a green dilly dangler.. run!!
Some of you may have read the Ladeez night story and wondered what happened to Titselina Bumsqueak’s ex. We fixed Fat Sharon but what about TB’s ex? Percy Pickle?
They say confession is good for the soul – well… I guess it’s time for a spot of spiritual harmony!
So where did we leave off? Pretty much with the scant info that Fat Sharon had been playing “hide the sausage” with TB’s boyfriend, Percy Pickle.
Obviously our first instinct was to wallop him with a baseball bat. However, frankly, there isn’t enough cake in the world to give us the calories we’d have expended on doing the job right.
Time for Plan B.
B for Bitches heh, heh.
We decided we’d give him a night to remember so the three of us headed out to the pub. We’d deliberately planned it so he left his car at home and TB…
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The fantabulous wordsmith, Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this intriguing tag. I’ve really enjoyed this and I’m sad to get to day three. Do you follow Kristian? You absolutely should. He’s one of my absolute favourite bloggers , one of the very few I make sure to keep … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Three
The ever amazing Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian has nominated me for this fabulous tag. Pick three song lyrics that mean something to you and share them over three days. I’m currently down in North Carolina again and while I was driving around Raleigh today I started reminiscing about places and people. … Continue reading Three Days, Three Song Lyrics – Day Two
I’ve been nominated by the ever fantastic Kristian of Tales From The Mind of Kristian . If you haven’t found Kristian’s blog yet, you’re missing out. He’s absolutely one of my top ten favourite blogs. The rules of this tag are: Thank the person who nominated you Post 1 quote (song lyric) each day for … Continue reading Three Song Lyrics, Three Days – Day One
Making political statements in everything you do is kind of like wearing a bikini or banana hammock to the office, supermarket and church. There’s nothing wrong with swimwear, you look great in it. There are places it doesn’t need to be seen and is in fact, totally inappropriate. Today I’ve unfollowed three blogs because in … Continue reading One Man’s Politics, Another’s Blasphemy?
I went to visit my Amish friends on Tuesday and came home with a pile of fruit. So jam making was in order! Me and mine love home made jam. I made 24 jars of Strawberry Rhubarb on Wednesday - and there's only 23 left! I think the other must have evaporated *looks innocent* This … Continue reading Strawberry Rhubarb Jam
George was special from the moment he was born. I had adopted a stray who I called Prader Willi (because that cat ate EVERYTHING) She was pregnant and I was going to get her spayed when she had had her kittens. She had four kittens. One black, One black and white, one tabby and one … Continue reading The Story Of George, The Ginger Stealer Of Hearts.
I was nominated by one of my top ten favourite bloggers Tales From The Mind of Kristian to take part in a challenge created by another top ten blogger A Guy Called Bloke for a very interesting challenge “Ancient Authors” The rules are simple, as always: •Choose the author or philosopher (it should be one from … Continue reading A Greek Tragedy – Ancient Authors Challenge
I was nominated by Okie-Dokie-Bloke who is, coincidentally, the creator of this game! Here’s what he has to say: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and nominate 3 bloggers, who in … Continue reading 3.2.1 Quote Me! #2
It’s TBT and time for me to do the green thing and regurgitate one of my old posts! I hope you enjoy 😊
I was pretty sick for a good bit of last year. I started thinking about stuff I wished I told my kids, funny stories, advice, encouragement… not to eat yellow snow. You know how it goes.
I started a list with this title and promptly went no further. Recently, randomly, I thought of it again so here it is.
An ongoing list in no particular order .. but a start..
Be wary of any group, political party, religion, or individual who claim’s to have all the answers. No one has all the answers. People who make these statements will only lead you into trouble. Anything you can’t question, or can’t get an answer to – isn’t right.
Learn about the world. School will give you limited information, with most of it slanted towards the teachers beliefs. Always look for more information, the opposite view. Structure your opinion on YOUR conclusions…
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There’s a new Challenge in town!! 3.2.1 Quote Me! created by Rory at A Guy Called Bloke Here’s what he has to say about it: Everyone loves quotes right? So l figured to introduce a bit of light hearted fun with this series. It’s simple: Every day l will pick a topic, post 2 quotes and … Continue reading 3-2-1 – Quote Me!!
....And that was just the therapist. Ever had one of those days where your mouth is ten steps ahead of your common sense? All.The.Flippin.Time I was at the physical therapists yesterday. I wasn’t looking forward to it, I’d had a bad night and couldn’t sleep with pain so whilst I started off smiley and polite.. … Continue reading Physical Therapy – It’s Only a Little Prick..
I was down in NC (amongst other places) last week and I stayed with my son Fartichoke and his friends. For some obscure reason his friends love me and all have to visit every time I’m down which led to many sunrise bedtimes.. I’m getting too old for that crap! Fartichoke was telling stories of … Continue reading How I Upset EVERYONE!!
Thank you to all our troops both serving and veteran. To those who made it back and to those who didn't. With gratitude and respect for your sacrifices, patriotism, integrity and valour. They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the … Continue reading On Memorial Day
I haz a numb bum! A very numb bum, I nearly had two kittens too which would have made the numb bum worth it but I was pipped at the post. Murder Mittens (tabby and white kitten) and Scrapper Stinkbutt (coal black kitten) weren’t meant for me but there is a ginger hooligan waiting for … Continue reading Road Trips, Kittens and a Numb Bum!!
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/24/18
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/21/18
I was nominated by both Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees, if you need a good laugh or to get lost for a couple of hours there’s no better way to do it!! RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you •Post one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/20/18
I was nominated by the inimitable Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles. These are blogs I enjoy a lot and I’m thrilled to get a nom from them! I’d love you to check them out and also my nominees. RULES: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day one quote for … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/19/18
I was nominated by two lovely ladies Confessions of an Irish Procrastinator and Freckles so with much joy, I get to play again!! I’d love you to check their blogs out and also my nominees. You won't be sorry!! RULES: 1. Thank the person who nominated you. 2. Post one quote per day one quote … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 05/18/18
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/17/18.
I was looking through my reader and I realised how many fabulous writers I'm following. Seriously guys, I'm in awe of your writing. You're saving me a fortune in books (until you all get published and then I will need a second job!) I thought it would be fun to take a title and see … Continue reading Bedtime Stories for Insomniacs.
I had a lovely long conversation with Titselina Bumsqueak who reminded me of several ‘Things I Have Done’. Honestly, sometimes it feels like she just doesn’t appreciate the lengths I go to and the depths I plummet for her benefit. I was visiting her and we’d gone into the small seaside town she lives in … Continue reading How To Liven Up Grocery Shopping – Or NOT..
Inside every one of us there's a light that shines sparkles and fizzes. It doesn't matter how old you are, your weight, colour, race or IQ. We all have the ability to make someone else's day magical. I met a man today in the car park at Walmart. He was with a group of like … Continue reading When Lovely Turns Ugly
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 05/14/18
Sadly this is day three of what is really a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/13/18
This is such a fun Award and I’m lucky enough that I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to take part in the challenge. I’ve … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – O5/12/18
For many this is one of the most bittersweet holidays in the year. We've either lost a mother, we have kids in situations neither they or we wanted to be in or our kids are too far away or too busy to find time for us. Some of us have never been mothers, some of … Continue reading A Thought for Mothers Day
I actually have a few of these so I’m going to do them two at a time. I’ve been nominated by Tales From The Mind of Kristian and Coles Campfire Blog The usual rules are: •Thank the person who nominated you. •Post one quote per day over three days. •Nominate 3 blogs per day to … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – 05/11/18.
It’s TBT and here’s a trip back to London and yet another of my infamous run ins with Doctors…
Growing up under the NHS in London was great. Until it wasn’t.
Raging Despots of Doctors receptionists. Doctors with God complex’s. Nurses who idolised the piggin’ idiots and made them even more delusional if possible!
Oh and let’s not forget the ever present cup of tea. I’m quite sure they even stopped operations for surgeons to have their tea break!
It all climaxed with us, the patients being a bit of a bloody nuisance if anything. I definitely felt treated as a convenience or tool of the trade by some.
This resulted in some embarrassing situations! As I got older, there were more toe curling episodes for them as I grew into my attitude but as a young girl, well – if we’re telling embarassing stories here goes.. it’s hard to pick just one isn’t it?!
When I was 19 I had to see a specialist for “Wimmins problems” and…
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Yeah really! Fat chance my friends! FAT!! CHANCE!! I realized I hadn’t completed this nomination from That Guy Called Bloke which is disgraceful. I can’t believe I missed it, I love his nominations because they’re so much fun - his questions are a riot! This brings me to the boring bit. Rules. I generally don’t … Continue reading A Liebster a Day Makes Me Behave..
Daisy is in disgrace. At least that’s MY version! In hers she’s a total badass!! We went out for a walk a little while ago, it’s a nice evening, a little chilly for my liking but we walked on the sunny side of the street to try and get the best out of it. This … Continue reading Give a dog a bone..
Scooby Doo always comes to mind when I see Mystery Blogger. This is no bad thing because I love Scooby Doo (and that counts as number one of three things about me!) I was nom-de-nom’d by none other than the Captain of Comedy, the King of Kerfuffle, the hot dog, jumping frog of Albuquerque Albuquerque … Continue reading Weird Ass Wednesdays and The Mystery Blogger
Kids have such a lovely way of both surprising and shaming us at the same time don’t they?! When mine were little, I was waiting at the school gates, as you do! My 6 year old daughter (at the time) arrived but I still had to wait for my son. At the top of her … Continue reading Kids Say The Darnedest Things!!
So What is Mystery Blogger Award? “This is an award for amazing bloggers with indigenous posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they … Continue reading Mystery Blogger Award
I have to be at the Doctor’s for 9:30 and there's a spider in my car. Should I call the police or fire brigade? I know I need EMTs because I just about had heart failure when he swung down in front of my face I'm thinking call a taxi and leave the keys in … Continue reading What a Dilemma!
I was walking Daisy this afternoon and I heard a guy talking on his cell "I'm his first gay bear" Well that caught my attention but the bugger got across the road quicker than me and I didn't hear anymore. I was intrigued. Gay Bear?? I had to go to Aunty Google asap and apparently … Continue reading Of Mice and Men? More like Rats and Rascals!
I was nominated by that bloke, fella-meladdo Guy Called Bloke for a Liebster. As we all know, Liebster doesn’t mean give the cranky britch sweeties... but it bloody well SHOULD!! I’d like to express my disgust and outrage at this travesty of needless confectionary withdrawal and put in a request for fruit salads and black … Continue reading Liebster Schweebster
*Sigh* Being of unsound mind and body I decided to clear out some kitchen cupboards. I found my old two slice black toaster so left it on the counter because I'm going to give it to my son. My black handbag is also in the counter. On my way to get dressed to go shopping … Continue reading Heated Conversation??
Today was the day. Seeing the bone doctor about my shoulders. I was dreading it. I hadn’t thought about it before but I suddenly realized - there was a definite risk of pain. By the time I’d actually got to the Doctors offices I’d worked myself up into a right state. Once again we had … Continue reading Atlas Shrugged…. Lucky Bloody Atlas!!
So I have this friend who we'll call ‘Mary Hinge’ (cos that's not her name) My girl has a bit of a disability. She's deaf. She must be. She didn't listen to my Anglo Saxon monologue warning and went and got herself married. Sentenced to life by a gold band and a big cake. Now … Continue reading Monkey Business
This post is dedicated, with much love, to.. I think you all know who you are. A lot of the amazing blogs that I follow have been posting lately about addiction and it’s effect on their lives. Mothers of addicts, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives... And it breaks my heart because the over riding emotions are … Continue reading Give Me The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
It’s TBT so I’m sharing one of my pre dawn posts with you all. Happy one-more-day-until-the-weekend!!
*Sigh*
Welcome to the latest round of The Bitchy One’s “You-Couldn’t-Make-This-Shit-Up..”
I was back in England visiting my best friend and I’d gone shopping.
While I was walking around in town I went into a sweet shop (candy store) to buy a curly wurly.
I decided I could indulge myself!
They had all kinds of retro sweets and I bought some shrimps, black jacks and fruit salads too so it was lovely!
Then it all started to go wrong.
Horribly, horribly wrong.
I saw packets of Space Dust.
Also known as Pop Rocks.
Remember that stuff?
You could put a few crystals on your tongue and it would pop and blast your teeth?!
I remember my brother pouring a whole packet into his mouth and screaming like he’d burst his bloody ear drums!!
WUSS!!
But I disgress (nothing new there now is there?!)
I had a brainwave.
It probably wouldn’t…
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My little mini minx has been AWOL. She's been at the car spa for a makeover... us ladeez like that kinda crap y'know. Well I finally got my Mini back! I hate driving the van - it's like driving a sofa. It's crap at cornering, doesn't like high speeds and it's a *horror of horrors*... … Continue reading Spa Daze
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read Monday and Tuesdays posts you’ll know that this is one of my favorite blogs. Enjoy!! Today’s quote comes from Charles H Spurgeon and it’s how I want to live. ‘Carve your name on hearts, not marble’
I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. If you read yesterday’s quote, you’ll know that a) it was one of my favorite quotes and b) this is one of my favorite blogs. Off you go for a tiptoe through a garden of delights! My quote for today is from a … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes – Day Two 05/01/18.
Today is my 3 month blogiversary - or blirthday if you will! I started this blog on February 1st 2018 and it seems like just yesterday and at the same time, much longer since I started this debacle! I'm in awe of my followers and really appreciate all of you. I am STUNNED that I've … Continue reading My 3 Month Blogiversary and Ferrero Rocher Cake!
Have you ever done anything you’re deeply ashamed of? When I was five or six I went to a birthday party. I went to lots of birthday parties! They all followed a pattern. Pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey, sandwiches, sausages rolls, crisps, cakes and biscuits - singing happy birthday and going … Continue reading Shame?? – me too.
I’ve got three or four of these challenges lined up because I’m very lucky! I don’t want to do them all at once because frankly, I enjoy them too much. I was nominated by Kristian at Tales From The Mind of Kristian. I have to tell you, this is one of my favourite blogs. Kristian’s … Continue reading Three Days, Three Quotes 04/30/18. Day One.
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 04/29/18.
We've had quite a bit of rain so far today. I just took my little dog Daisy out for her eleven millionth piddle of the day and we met a frog. She was a little intimidated at first but then desperately wanted to play and make friends. Froggy wasn't having any of it though. He … Continue reading Daisy and the Frog Prince
Things were going entirely too well round here. It had been days or at least hours since my last mortification - I should have known it couldn't last!! It was a "lovely" day today. Temps reached the heady heights of 58F (14C) here in the frozen Norf. I almost discarded one of my three pairs … Continue reading Loo, Loo, Skip to the Loo..
I’m having a throw back Thursday and reblogging a post frombefore I had any followers 😊
China in your hand by T’Pau and So Amazing by Luther Vandross
Two songs that I’ll never forget as they caused my dad to cut the plug off my record player!
My best friend and I had been on one of our weekly nights out.
By that I mean it was a weeknight because we were out seven nights a week!
Anyway we were home by 3am and in my room having an autopsy of the night.
….Why she danced with THAT minger.
….Why I let creepy guy buy us both a drink.
….Why we both had to climb out the toilet window AGAIN!
Not an unusual occurrence for us!
Actually a few years ago they were knocking one of our favorite haunts on the Old Kent Road in London.
I was very tempted to ask the builders for the toilet window for old times sake but wasn’t sure if…
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Little did I know, starting this week with quotes from British Prime Ministers and Bonar Law that is end up talking about the anatomy of said organ by Wednesday! For those of you who are joyfully oblivious, surgeons performed a penis and scrotum transplant this week and I cannot get the idea out of my … Continue reading The Hinky Bones Connected to the Ewww Bone..
I was nominated by the lovely Tintins. According to the blurb, “The Mystery Blogger is an award for A-MAZING bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find … Continue reading Mystery Blogger Award
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day – 04/24/18
Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth, Boil and bubble I’m really not too sure about these generic meds under Obamacare... I have a dreadful attitude towards doctors. According … Continue reading The Joy of Sex – or How to Get Clucked by Your Healthcare Plan.
Having compiled quotes from US Presidents and British Prime Ministers, I’m finishing my little series with a homage to who I consider, the greatest of them all. Winston Churchill was an incredible man. He pushed amazing reforms through. He truly fought for the underdog and I believe he carried the Brits through WW2 with the … Continue reading The World According to Winston
Having had such fun finding quotes from US Presidents, a chance remark to Floating Gold gave me the impetus to do the same with British Prime Ministers. You will notice Winston Churchill is missing. It’s my opinion that Winnie is one of - if not THE greatest statesman of all. As such, he’s getting his … Continue reading Yes Prime Minister??
They knew a thing or two didn't they?! I've read a few quotes lately and found a fair few from US Presidents - so I thought I'd make a list! On Unemployment A young man who does not have what it takes to perform military service is not likely to have what it takes to … Continue reading Those ol’ Presidents..
Okay so yes. We all know KNOW I'm evil - and I KNOW I'm going straight to hell but - Someone just called my cell phone and didn’t give me a chance to speak before stating very peremptorily "Hello I need to see the doctor for my constipation” Now in my defence, she didn’t give … Continue reading Paging Dr Britchy!!
In case you ever wonder just how much rubbish one woman can talk... THIS MUCH!!
I’ve noticed a lot of us are in a bit of a funk at the moment. Frankly, I’m not surprised. Mother Nature is being a bit of a grotbag at the moment and it feels like Spring/Summer will NEVER get here. What we need are some coping therapies. Happy thoughts and moments that will stop … Continue reading Combatting Winter Blues!!
Having created a way to recognise blogs that entertain, me, move me and make me think I now have the incredibly hard part of choosing which to nominate. As a recap, this is not bound by any rules. It doesn’t require the recipient to do anything. Its just something from me to you that’s a … Continue reading My Recommended Blog of the Day 04/18/18
This story is a group effort. Denny and Em decided to write a chain story and invite others to join in so, with no ideas of what story we would write, I jumped! 10 different bloggers worked on this, me included. Everyone took the story a little further while trying to keep it in line … Continue reading A Dead Man Walking – Ten Bloggers Tell a Tale..
I was asked a question recently after spending a great deal of time helping someone with a problem they just couldn’t understand. It was.. challenging and I’ll be honest, very annoying because it was really simple. Eventually I found a way to help them understand thankfully. Afterwards I was asked why I bothered, “it wasn’t … Continue reading Be a Virus
I absolutely love cold sales/scam calls. I can mess with their heads for hours. I thought I must be blacklisted because I haven't had one in ages but there was a computer dialer at the end of the rainbow and last night ended my dry spell. I got a call from someone overseas - you … Continue reading My Career as a Scammer Exterminator
Oh how delightful it is in North Carolina! I'm sat on a boat dock in 78f degrees with alligators swimming under me. I shit you not. There are five foot long alligators swimming much too close for my comfort. Maybe I should stop feeding them hush puppies but 1. I don't like hush puppies 2. … Continue reading Escape from New York
The LoCarb Diet, The Five-Two Diet, (SH)Atkins, Paleo, Dukan.. You know how it is girls, we've all tried all sorts of diets and none of them have made us happy. I decided it’s time to rewrite dieting. Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured so I give you this. The new and improved "I'm … Continue reading Does my Blog look big in this??
Many thanks to A Guy Called Bloke for nominating me for this challenge, I’m going to enjoy this!! This challenge was created by TinTins and it’s a lot of fun The Rules: • Choose a song that beats the nominators choice…doesn’t matter if its a cover, its about performance, lyrics and feeling the groove! Name … Continue reading The Spectacular Song Off!!
Bitchin’ in the Kitchen 